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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Photo'd without consent at spa - AIBU to have complain?

31 replies

Whatisthis4 · 17/12/2019 20:28

Long time lurker! Story is just as title says really.

Went to a spa today and a woman took out her phone and was taking several photos of the indoor pool area with everyone in and around it of all ages adults on loungers in varying degrees of swimwear (several photos were directly pointed at where my friend and I were), clearly to be posted on her social media. It was not selfies, was not of any friends and was without anyone's consent.

AIBU to have asked a staff member to have a word and ask her not to take photos of people semi naked without their consent?

Was I wrong to assume spas are a place where we can feel safe and relaxed about our bodies without worrying about photos being unwittingly taken or shared online? The room is pretty but isnt that big so people would be very visible/close. I don't consider myself particularly sensitive but I felt surprisingly violated.

The staff member did talk to her and kindly said "if it wasn't you someone else would have said something" but later in the day another person also did the same thing with their camera phone pointed in our direction and it made me wonder if I am being unreasonable to not want them to photograph us and to bring it up with the staff.

Genuinely interested in everyones thoughts!

OP posts:
jellybeans44 · 17/12/2019 20:30

Do you know what, normally I read threads along these sorts of lines and think oh for god sake get a grip. But this would actually really bother me too. Don't think you're being unreasonable at all.

ForalltheSaints · 17/12/2019 20:35

YANBU. The whole point of a spa is escaping from the normal day to day routine. Taking photos even with no-one in them is a no-no.

Perfectly reasonable to raise it, not just for yourself but for the good of the spa's business.

ParanoidGynodroid · 17/12/2019 20:36

You should suggest to the spa (if you’re a regular, anyway) that they have a clear no photography policy.

Remember that woman posting a photo of another woman, naked, in the gym changing room for her followers to laugh at? Awful. I’d be worried similar could happen here.

Butchyrestingface · 17/12/2019 20:39

I was reflexively about to say YABU, but actually, I don’t think you are.

It was probably innocent enough but I think we’ve all seen photos taken surreptitiously and posted to social media for the lolz with some cunt comment about the subject being fat/bald/ugly/a state, etc.

bridgetreilly · 17/12/2019 20:44

YANBU. A spa is not a public space and people are there specifically to relax and get away from the world. If they don't have a no photography policy, they absolutely should. I would like them to have a no mobile phones policy too, tbh.

John470322 · 17/12/2019 20:47

I am a member of a swimming club and the use of phones or cameras is prohibited.
I don't understand why a spa would allow them.
YANBU

SynchroSwimmer · 17/12/2019 20:51

YADNBU - every spa I have visited, both in uk and europe, has had a written policy of no photography.

Worth checking the policy there with management?

I have though encountered big issues with guests failing to read/familiarise themselves with spa etiquette, esp Brits using continental facilities, but that’s a whole other Trip Advisor review!

user1486723488 · 17/12/2019 20:54

I'd have gone spare and been off my sun lounger or out the pool to ask for any of me to be deleted. Or drop kicked the phone into the jacuzzi. Where have manners gone??? And also, surely, when at the spa you are there to relax? Leave the phone in your locker and forget the outside world ffs.

NoParticularPattern · 17/12/2019 20:55

I was all ready to tell you you were being unreasonable until I got to the “spa day” bit and I think that changes it a lot. There’s something a little weird feeling about strangers taking and storing photos of you in you’re swimwear isn’t there? Like it wouldn’t really be acceptable to do it if you were wearing underwear so why should it be in swimwear? And that aside a spa isn’t really a place for taking endless photos of you day, it wouldn’t even occur to me to take my phone in, I’d have left it in a locker/hotel room etc.

CluelessNewMama · 17/12/2019 21:17

YANBU. Probably not malicious but it would still really irritate me when I was trying to relax. Why do people need to take photos of bloody everything!

MintyMabel · 17/12/2019 21:40

A spa is not a public space

Except that it is.

bigbubbles · 17/12/2019 21:56

Was it Rudding Park?

They seem to actively encourage photos/video and then encourage people to people plaster them all over social media and tripadvisor.

Incredibly intrusive.

bridgetreilly · 17/12/2019 22:07

Except that it is.

Nope. Spas are privately owned and run, and people have to pay to enter. They are not public spaces at all.

CurbsideProphet · 17/12/2019 22:11

YANBU If I was having an expensive spa day I wouldn't want a stranger to take my photo randomly, especially if I was in my swimwear.

I can't imagine any scenario where I would want to take photos of other people sat round the pool at a spa. Of all the photos people post on social media that is surely in the top 3 boring and pointless.

Hazybobs · 17/12/2019 23:02

I’ve just been to a spa in Belgium with the hubby for a few days and there’s signs everywhere saying no cameras or phones allowed. They even have the warning on their carrier bags! Given that the largest part of the spa also doesn’t allow swimwear to be worn, it’s definitely comforting to know they’re so strict with their policy and lets me enjoy my naked swims and saunas!

Karwomannghia · 17/12/2019 23:05

YANBU they should make it very clear phones aren’t allowed. For the reasons you experienced but also because you can’t switch off with a phone nearby. Really important to put them away.

lifeisgoodagain · 17/12/2019 23:06

The last couple I've been too made you leave phones in the lockers! It's perfectly reasonable not to want to be photographed

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 18/12/2019 04:20

Not at all unreasonable.
What is it with people constantly needing to photograph everything?!! "Oh look at me. I'm in a spa".... Never mind the privacy or dignity of anyone else hey.

When I came back to England in the summer, I took my children and my nieces and nephews to an indoor soft play area. Unbeknown to me, some instafamous YouTuber was vlogging. Fopperholic was her name. I was unaware until I saw my ugly mug and MY CHILDREN on her public YouTube channel after being tipped off from someone asking if it was us. Just absolutely disgusting, for all they know some of the people they're photographing could be in witness protection.

jellycatspyjamas · 18/12/2019 04:33

Just absolutely disgusting, for all they know some of the people they're photographing could be in witness protection.

My children are adopted - I would hit the roof if some random posted their images on-line without my knowledge and consent. It’s not far fetched at all to think that posting photos on-line can pose a risk to others.

OP, I’d have been deeply unhappy and in all likelihood would have asked whoever it was to stop taking photos which included me in any way. You have a right to privacy, and the spa staff should be on top of people using their phones to take pictures.

WatchingTheMoon · 18/12/2019 04:39

Every time I've been to a spa/swimming pool in the last few years, they've had a very clear 'no photography' rule.

LolaSmiles · 18/12/2019 04:44

Yanbu at all. It's reasonable to expect that spas and swimming pools and the like are phone/photograph free spaces.

JolieOBrien · 18/12/2019 04:53

You need to inform the owner of the Spa because this is an invasion of privacy.

PatricksRum · 18/12/2019 04:59

YANBU
In fact, when I went to one in NI they took my friend's phone from her and she had to keep going up to the receptionist to text the babysitter to check dc was OK.

Aridane · 18/12/2019 05:53

Forget the witness protection, uploading to fat etc shaming websites - it's a spa for peace and relaxation where typically no phones are allowed. If you,were talking about pictures being taken at, say, an
Exhibition, lovely park or other place of interest, I would say YWBU. But not at a spa. Worth raising again with management for the good of other visitors (and the spa itself)

PoultryBallot · 18/12/2019 06:00

I've started following hotels that I plan to visit on fb. Then I discount any that like to do drone footage every fucking day of the pool and surrounding area. I find it very intrusive.