Grey area of teenage guardianship

[CrashedAsh]

My partner has a 17yo daughter that lives with us full time- partner has decided he wants to work a job that requires nights away interstate. I don't think it's fair that his child becomes my responsibility for the nights he is away.

We have been together 2 years, but I have known his 17yro for about 6 years. Relationship between myself and his daughter was fine until she realised i'm not a cool friend, but someone who has put rules in place in our house.

My question is, do i have a right to say "no thanks" when looking after her when he isn't around? What happens if she is hurt/arrested/requires assistance from an adult? I doubt i have any say since we aren't married.

Also, he told you that you were the stability she needed? What? Talk about trying to shirk his responsibilities off to the little woman!!!

If he’s just got custody he absolutely should not be working away. He needs to stay and parent his daughter and build their relationship.

Oh dear. I think that to be honest you and her father are both culpable. You either step into a parenting role or you don't. If you don't-keep you beak out of discipline and let your partner do it. If you do, then you can't bail when it gets difficult.

I would have said that you weren't being unreasonable, but you got too involved to make it that clear cut.

Given the circumstances I think this particular 17 year old needs her father at home as primary parent and you helping and supporting him.

He needs to realise what his role as Father entails and step up.

You've both got to work to turn her behaviour and attitude around. If discipline has been lacking throughout her childhood and she hasn't been given a work ethic etc, then she's going to rebel for quite a while.

She's needs to know that she can count on him and if he's away so much, she can't. He needs a better level of physical presence.

Hes just taken on full custody of his troubled teen, he shouldn't really get the option of deciding on working away all week and pawn her off on you, that's not fair on either you or his daughter, its pretty irresponsible of him actually

I agree with this. He seems to have a track record of getting other people ( women of course ) to do his parenting for him.

Also you are not her step mother, you are her dads partner. It’s really not the same .

Tell me, how did it affect his child support payments when she came to live with you ? Because I’m wondering why he would want to get custody of her then bugger off most of the time.

Sure he’d like to try a different job, so would many mothers . But many of us have to fit our work around our kids and their needs. So does he. Welcome to parenthood.