30th Birthday.

[ims0rrydarlin]

So I turned 30 over the weekend. My partner also proposed to me with my dream ring!

However I feel a little disappointed in my friends. No one has made any plans with me to celebrate these two occasions with me. Usually in our circle of friends, we go out for a birthday dinner at some point, not necessarily on the day. However, no one has even suggested meeting up or anything.

A friend recently had a 30th birthday and I had arranged a meal out, got her a nice present. We also got her a cake and some balloons etc.

But nothing for me. We’ve all been communicating as normal in our group chat so AIBU?

I think at the age of 30 you have to organise it yourself - if you want a meal with friends then let them know. Surely? Regarding the engagement, I would expect congratulations but not celebrations unless I organised them.

Don’t you organise your own birthday? Did anyone ask you your plans?

YANBU I turn 30 next week and my friends have planned something for me this weekend and I’ve had no input they made a WhatsApp group and have arranged it all.

2 of my friends turned 30 last month and we all did the same for them. Don’t usually go all out but as it’s a big birthday we all have made more effort this year

Maybe you're better at organising stuff than everyone else.
If you want to all go out for a meal, ask them all while it's still closer to your birthday than Christmas!

Nobody asked me my plans. Usually we all liaise with each other and see who’s free when and make an arrangement. We’ve all been friends since school. I’ve always asked the birthday girl when she’s available and then we’ve all collectively arranged a day and place. Our other friends birthday is two weeks before me so I had communicated with her re her availability and we all went out for dinner. That’s how we’ve always done it amongst ourselves. I don’t expect a celebration for my engagement.

If you want to celebrate then I would just say so and let your friends know what you would like to do

Yes in an ideal world it's nice if a friend takes the initiative and organised something for you but if that clearly isn't happening then surely better to organise something yourself than simmer in silence

Oh dear god, it’s Christmas time, you’ve just got engaged to presumably the love of your life and it’s been your birthday! Get over yourself! Maybe book in a date in the new year for a celebratory meal. I’d give an awful lot to be in your shoes.

Excited - not everyone celebrates Christmas. It may not be a significant thing to my friends or I. Also, all my friends are married and I’m now engaged. What do I need to get over exactly?

If you want to celebrate - be it a party or a meal out or whatever - , then you make the plans.
That's how it tends to work once you get past about 14

It's probably because it is December. And people are short of time and money. I know this coz my birthday is this week!

It's understandable to be a bit miffed at this. I would be. But really best thing to do you is just a organise a simple night out with close friends and have fun. They have let you down but not in some unforgivable way. Be disappointed but then move on.

It sounds like you are the one who usually organises things? Maybe they are so used to you doing it, it didn't occur to them that actually one of them should get organizing?

Surely if you want to do something you should organise it? I don't celebrate my birthday and neither does DH, so can't speak from that perspective. My DC both celebrate, though, and even if it's not quite the same I haven't organised anything since they were about 8 - they tell me what they want to do, I book/pay for it. Why don't you and your friends do something similar?

Agree with others, in my friendship group the birthday person organises something and invites others to celebrate with them. Then you get to do what you want to do!

You do sound like a lovely friend organising everyone’s birthdays though. Perhaps because it’s just been you people don’t realise it’s a ‘thing’ in the group, but rather a lovely and generous quirk of yours?