Attitudes towards boys and girls extracurricular activities

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DD1 and DD2 do gymnastics and dance and DS does football, hockey and athletics. They all enjoy what they do, gaining many benefits from the physical aspect as well as the social side especially by being part of a team.

What I find odd is I often get comments about DD1 & DD2 saying 'oh does she want to be in the Royal Ballet' or 'does she want to be in the Olympics' and raised eyebrows when I say probably not, kind of implying that the only point to doing things like dance or gym is if you are to go on to do it professionally or if you want to be a star. No one has ever ever asked me if DS plans on playing premiership football or his other sports at a high level.

Is it just more acceptable that boys are involved in activities and team sports without the expectation they will do it professionally but with girls it's seen as a bit of a waste of time unless they are going to be a star. I just cannot understand this attitude.

Has anyone else experienced this or AIBU?

never heard anything of the sort about my kids or kids around me.

It’s the sports. Not totally boy/girl.

Ballet and gymnastics are “girl” sports/activities. There is the stereotype that girls don’t do sport- so if they do, there must be a “reason”- ie aiming for the olympics.

Your boy does “boy” sports. Boys participate in sport because that’s what boys enjoy, for it’s own sake, rather than to achieve a goal.

Out of interest, why doesn’t your boy do ballet and gymnastics? Why don’t your girls play football? You are perpetualting the stereotypes yourself...

That's.... odd.

I thought all little girls did gymnastics or some sort of dance? (ok, I'm exaggerating) It's like playing an instrument: you do it for the benefits and the fun, and a tiny proportion of you will take it up professionally and a tinier proporion of them will make it big (Royal Ballet or Olympic status).

Maybe the reason nobody asks similar about your son is that he's doing three very different things. Anyone who wants to be a Premiership footballer will be concentrating solely on football before they leave primary school.

It's certainly not something I've ever encountered. I've always vaguely assumed that girls join things more than boys do (massive generalisation based on no evidence).

Never experienced this. My dd does "girls" and "boys" extra curricular, or rather did as a child and still does at university

No, I've never encountered this. Surely nearly all girls do gym or dance?

My girls do kickboxing and rugby as well, no one suggests it's a career.

Your boy does “boy” sports. Boys participate in sport because that’s what boys enjoy, for it’s own sake, rather than to achieve a goal.

@bluebluezoo This is exactly it, why is it more acceptable that boys participate and enjoy activities for its own sake but not girls? FWIW the girls have also played football and netball but dance and gymnastics seem to be the things they have enjoyed stuck with.

This is exactly it, why is it more acceptable that boys participate and enjoy activities for its own sake but not girls?

It’s the stereotype, which people believe are due to “natural” biologic preferences- pink brain/blue brain.

Same as why is it acceptable for girls to like pink but not boys? Why is it acceptable for boys to run around noisily but girls sit quietly? Why do girls like housework while boys like the pub and beer?

Every time someone puts a girls preference down to her sex this crap is perpetuated. Every time someone excuses a boy’s behaviour with “boys will be boys” we will get these responses.

Girls can enjoy sport as much as boys. Call them on it, and every other instance.

There is the stereotype that girls don’t do sport
huh?!?

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. On which planet?

My DD did lots of sports (swimming, netball, gym, athletics, tennis etc) and was never once asked if she was aiming for the Olympics. All the parents thought that their daughters were doing their sport because they enjoyed it!

Both mine did martial arts. I frequently got asked if DD wouldn't prefer dance or something, never got asked that about DS.

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. On which planet?

This one. Where girls participation in sport drops massively around 12 years old.

Plenty of studies if you want to read up. Lots of reasons- self esteem, body worries, peer pressure...

www.womenssportsfoundation.org/do-you-know-the-factors-influencing-girls-participation-in-sports/

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/how-to-encourage-girls-sport_uk_5a704e2ce4b0a52682ff3da0

Only 14% of 8-10 year old girls and 8% 11-12 year old girls met the recommended guidelines for physical activity in 2012. Participation rates continue to be low amongst adult women, with only 31.2% playing sport at least once a week compared with 40.7% of men (APS 9). Women in Sport strongly believe that we need to promote participation amongst girls at an early age to ensure they have a positive relationship with sport and to effectively tackle this entrenched gender gap

From. www.womeninsport.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Ambitions-for-Girls-2016-Strategy.pdf?x99836

Thinking of my friends kids activities...
Ice skating (boy and girl)
Gymnastics (girl)
Dance (boy and girl)
Skiing (girl)
Football (girl)
Karate (girl)
Rainbows/Brownies (girl)
Beavers/Cubs (boy and girl)
Swimming (just about everyone)
Horse riding (boy)
Theatre (boy)

Some do it just gor fun. Some do it competitively. One or two might make a career of it.

Where girls participation in sport drops massively around 12 years old.

it might drop, but it doesn't mean that there's a stereotype about girls not doing sport.

Yes, there's a football/boxing vs ballet/hockey stereotype, but not about a "sporty" boy vs "couch-potato" girls.

My wee girl plays ice hockey.
She does it for nothing less than enjoyment.

Why don't you do a non genderised after school club like cookery? That's what mine do

That is strange. Do your girls appear as though they could take it to a competitive level? Odd question but when people hear DS does boxing, they all ask if he wants to go pro eventually. Because he looks like he might, even at his young age.

If he were very short and slight they might not. Although obviously boxers come in all shapes and sizes.

To those commenting on the gendered sports, I agree, but I’ve been trying to get to DS to do non-gendered classes and have pushed for dance/drama etc... the only things he’s actually enjoyed are boxing and martial arts. Sigh. If your children enjoy a sport, don’t pull them out because of your social beliefs - whichever way that manifests.

Another who has never come across this.

Only thing I did think is that several people who do dance, end up doing a LOT of different classes / competitions / shows etc, more so than people who play a team sport - who are more likely to train once a week and play once a week. Might it be something to do with the time commitment your dd puts in ?

Perhaps the attitude is specifically related to the types of activities like dance and gymnastics seeming to be typically girly and more about performance than sport. I know dads of DDs friends grumble about the cost and time involved with their DDs activities but they are more than happy to ferry their boys to football and rugby training and give up weekends travelling to away games.

Never came across this.
I had 2 girls that did various dance/musical theatre, gym, athletics, tennis and swimming.
And a ds who has done football, tennis, badminton... and musical theatre and for a while dance.

Never been asked for either.

It may be more to do with where they do their hobbies. Some dance/gymnastics studios ages reputation for being very pushy and get children into these types of things while in others the kids are dressed up and essentially let loose to wave their arms around with a few props.

I have a dd who is very good at gymnastics and she gets asked this all the time.

Part of it is most peoples knowledge of gymnastics comes from watching the olympics every four years, so that’s what they automatically associate it with. Plus with girls it is an early start sport so a big commitment, a lot of hours and a lot of training very young. Not at all like once a week football. It tends to be all or nothing too, those who do rec classes once a week give up fairly quickly as it’s difficult to progress.

Having said that my friend has a son in the boys squad. He just gets teased about doing a “girls sport”. No mention of olympics there.

I do think there is a stereotype. Boys are strong and physical, and play physical sport. “Girls sport” is often dance based, like gymnastics, and seen as pretty and not needing so much manly strength. That’s why there are girls and boy sports- stereotypes.

I was a swimmer growing up. The amount of my female friends who were persuaded by their mums to give up for something more genteel as swimming gives you “big shoulders”. God forbid.

I have a very sporty 14yo DD who does hockey and athletics (several times a week) and a 16yo DS who doesn’t really partake in sport at all. Maybe we are in the minority but many of DDs friends are sporty (but not necessarily dance/gymnastics).

As a schoolteacher i find thst bizarre. I've never heard that before!