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He wants to stay friends aibu if I don’t want to

24 replies

Youngmumm · 16/12/2019 15:39

Hey , I had casual sex sometime last year and have remained in contact with him. We expressed that we really liked each other... but I didn’t want a relationship as I was too busy being a mum to my 3year old. There was a time he booked a 5 star hotel for us but I let him know I couldn’t make it because my child comes first. Long story short I come to find out he has a girlfriend but he still kept being really flirty with me and telling me he liked and missed me but I would ignore him or give one word replies. I started talking to him again as just friends but he would always be extremely flirty with me and would want to see me but I would always shut down the conversation. His girlfriend recently contacted me because she found texts from me in his phone and told me they have a baby together, I felt really bad and reassured her that nothing is going on between me and him. I then called him and told him we need to stop talking, he then refused and said we should remain friends. Aibu to tell her that me and him slept together in the past ? And Aibu if I cut ties with him even though he wants to remain “friends” for I reason I do not know.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Youngmumm · 16/12/2019 15:40

I said I’m going to block him and he said I don’t need to do that and we can remain friends. How when the conversation was always about me seeing him or about him missing me ?! What type of friendship should that be

OP posts:

touchdaqueef · 16/12/2019 15:42

Just block him and forget about it 🤷🏻‍♀️ he's clearly a piece of shit, so don't know why you reply to him. Block him and move on.


Drum2018 · 16/12/2019 15:42

Don't bother telling his gf but do block him. He's not a friend.


bigchris · 16/12/2019 15:43

I'd block him

He's using you as a back up plan in case it doesn't work with his girlfriend


Youngmumm · 16/12/2019 15:43

@touchdaqueef Thankyou will do x

@drum2018 Thankyou I’m just too caring so felt bad x

OP posts:

TheShowerSinger · 16/12/2019 15:43

Don’t tell his girlfriend. Block him and forget about him. He’s clearly a player.


managinged · 16/12/2019 15:44

Block him. He's trying to keep you as an option. This is not really a friendship. Block, block, block.


Youngmumm · 16/12/2019 15:44

@bigchris thankyou && yes that’s how I feel. I feel used and like a back up x

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MissConductUS · 16/12/2019 15:44

YANBU but I would probably just block him. It sounds like she's already onto his cheating ways.

He only wants to remain "friends" with you so he can possibly have sex again with you in the future.


LonginesPrime · 16/12/2019 15:45

I then called him and told him we need to stop talking, he then refused and said we should remain friends.

Well, he sounds lovely!

If you don't want to be friends with him, he can't override that.

Just block him and move on - he sounds like a dick. Don't let either of them suck you into their drama - just steer clear and be thankful you're not the girlfriend!


AryaStarkWolf · 16/12/2019 15:45

Jeez just block him, no need for all this drama


Ghostoast · 16/12/2019 15:56

I doubt you're the only one he's chasing sorry! He sounds like a player


FruitcakeOfHate · 16/12/2019 15:57

Block him! Friends, my arse! Booty call, more like.


MyOwnSummer · 16/12/2019 16:04

Yep, YANBU at all, who would want to be "friends" with someone who cheats on their partner and just uses every opportunity to try and get into your pants? Urgh.


Sparklesocks · 16/12/2019 16:12

block and move on, his partner knows something is up so will probably put it together herself (and you might be one of a few...)


Whiskeylover45 · 16/12/2019 16:12

Sounds like my old fwb. It was nothing more but he still sent me flirty texts while I was with, now DH, then DP. I told him straight I wasnt interested. It was made worse because he had a lass at the time with, like us, a baby on the way. He stopped since his bairn was born but still have him on fb. Virtually no messages anymore. I would just ignore. If he doesnt get the message just block on everything.


Howyiz · 16/12/2019 16:14

'I'm just too caring' Hmm or maybe you liked the ego boost, which is fine, but at least own it and stop the poor innocent me shit.


Youngmumm · 16/12/2019 16:20

@howyiz someone that only wants to have sex with you isn’t a ego trip if anything makes me feel disgusting. I meant the “I’m too caring” part about me wanting to tell his girlfriend xx

OP posts:

Lindy2 · 16/12/2019 16:28

He wants to stay friends because he thinks he might get another shag out of you.

You are still interacting with him because you like the fact he is flirting with you.

He has a girlfriend and child. He is clearly a cheating slime ball.

Do the right thing and block him to stop lots of people, including you, being emotionally hurt by him at some point in the future. If you don't care about the risk that you'll be hurt by him do it for his child.


Youngmumm · 16/12/2019 16:34

@lindy2 yes because I really liked him

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Wildorchidz · 16/12/2019 16:53

Long story short I come to find out he has a girlfriend but he still kept being really flirty with me and telling me he liked and missed me but I would ignore him or give one word replies.

That’s when you should have blocked him.


Lindy2 · 16/12/2019 17:09

Hopefully he's rather less likeable now you know that he's not actually a very nice person. It should be easier for you to block him knowing he's a cheater.


Hepsibar · 16/12/2019 17:24

Block him. No explanation to either. Just do it.


NoMorePoliticsPlease · 16/12/2019 17:26

Dont tell his girlfriend why does she need more pain?

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