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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to put up another tree!!?

14 replies

Christmasswitch · 16/12/2019 15:32

NC’d for this as it could be outing.

So we have a holiday home in the Lake District which we use throughout the year and sometimes we Christmas there also.

DH and I had a conversation last month about as to whether we would do Christmas there this year or not. We decided to stay home for many reasons and also because we have family over from the US (staying with PILs) and we would like to see them.

Anyway I put up the trees, decorated the house, we did the Christmas shopping for the DC (we have 3), had the gardens tidied and decorated, arranged a family afternoon tea party at the house for the 22nd (food ordered in). Great...all sorted!

Last night I am getting into bed and DH shouts from the dressing room “maybe we should just go to the lakes for Christmas!?, I do love Christmas there!”... I actually nearly fell off the side of the bed!! I explained about the afternoon tea.. he suggested we left Monday morning?!! But I don’t want to get up there and have to uncover everything and put up a tree!! I thought I was done...he said he would help but I am not in the frame of mind AT ALL! Now he things I’m a Scrooge!! Please tell me IANBU!! I know I’m not...he’s not sulking or anything but I just can’t get over the fact that he has even suggested it!!
Oh the thoughts of packing the car with the dc’s gifts is giving me the sweats!!

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 16/12/2019 15:35

Just say no?

You'd agreed to spend it at home, so you've made all your plans around that. It's not fair of him to suddenly change the plan, especially as it sounds as though he does bugger all to help.

SeaViewBliss · 16/12/2019 15:36

I don't think YABU. Its a bit last minute to change his mind.

I would agree ONLY if he agrees to do at least his share of packing, organising and sorting stuff when you get there.

Anniegetyourgun · 16/12/2019 15:37

Or even, all of it.

Original poster
Christmasswitch · 16/12/2019 15:46

He will help, he’s not the type of guy who sits back and lets me get on with it. When he’s busy at work obviously he can’t but we are lucky enough that I can hire help for around the house when needed. He did suggest looking into a company up north who would put up and decorate the tree ( we are in London where these things exist) but I am unsure at this late notice if I would even want to organise that. 😫
Maybe he was feeling all nostalgic but won’t know until he comes home this evening how serious he was!!

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 16/12/2019 15:57

OP, I promise you, you don't have to put up a tree. You can just go and enjoy the house the way it is. It'll still be Christmas!

stoplickingthetelly · 16/12/2019 16:02

I would just stay at home. I don’t like last minute plans. Could you maybe go up for over new year instead?

gothefcktosleep · 16/12/2019 16:10

Just agree to do it next year

fedup21 · 16/12/2019 16:13

Just stay at home!
Or go...and don’t put up a treeConfused

AryaStarkWolf · 16/12/2019 16:14

Say no then?

unicornflakegirl · 16/12/2019 16:18

Can you go and take your decorated tree with you bundled up in a blanket?

Even if you had already planned to go there for Christmas surely you would have been decorating the home you live in anyway?
Is there anyone you have who cleans the house in the lakes who could open it up for you and do a tree if needed?

Though I can see the appeal of staying put and London is perfect when you have visitors coming.

TeaForTara · 16/12/2019 16:38

"I am unsure at this late notice if I would even want to organise that."

Why would it fall to you to organise it? And what's all this talk about him "helping"? If he wants something different from what has been arranged, then he does EVERYTHING. If being at work means he CAN'T do it, then IT DOESN'T HAPPEN. Saying he will help implies it's still mainly your responsibility. No, no, no and no!

TeaForTara · 16/12/2019 16:39

P.S. Is this a stealth (or not so stealth, really) boast?

Original poster
Christmasswitch · 16/12/2019 18:33

So he came home and still thinks it’s a good idea to go @unicornflakegirl I did think that but it wouldn’t fit in the car 😂

We do have a lady that minds the house and has a key. But I wouldn’t ask her to take down the decorations. Had I known I wouldn’t have decorated our house to such lengths!! And I would have gone up to the lakes to sort stuff before dh (As he has work) with eldest DS. I would have organised everything much differently.

Anyway I have told him to give over and if he wants to go then he can put up the tree himself...which he hasn’t objected to.

OP posts:
unicornflakegirl · 16/12/2019 20:53

Have you got roof bars? Wink

Hope you have a good Christmas either way! If the decorations aren't as perfect as you'd liked it won't be the end of the world.

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