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AIBU?

To be scared of EVERYTHING

16 replies

Scaredoflife · 16/12/2019 14:12

Just that really... I guess I know I’m BU but I just can’t stop!
A few things recently

  • every time the door knocks I hide
  • if my neighbours are in their garden I hide
  • if my DH is driving somewhere I’m freaked out that he will crash and work myself up about it
  • we have a lodger at the moment and I’m worried he will leave the door unlocked and we will get burgled (especially as we are away for Christmas)

I make up all these scenarios in my head of everything that could possibly go wrong and convince myself that the more I think about them the more they’ll actually come true. I spent months worrying about what would happen if my father died and how I’d feel and then he had an accident and died suddenly... I’ve always thought I made that happen. However, I now can’t stop convincing myself that other bad things will happen too!

Does anyone have anything like this? Or any advice? I’m so tired of being scared :(
OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 16/12/2019 14:20

It sounds like anxiety, make an appointment with you GP, hugs.

LIZS · 16/12/2019 14:20

Sounds like anxiety. Could you self refer to cbt?

Frothybothie · 16/12/2019 14:23

Has there been a incident in your life that caused this? assault/burglary/ abusive neigbour etc?

Sometimes it just all builds up and you fear/assume the worst is going to happen - I dont mean to be partonising but you could try to take an example
say you get burgled whilst away.
what is the worst thing that can happen
you lose items that are valuable/ precious/expensive, your home is violated.
what can you do to avoid
insurance
hide valauables
photograph important items
it's only possessions

try that for each instance you think off.

Im aread DH will have an accident when driving

  • Is he a reasonable driver?

Is he safe?
does he have a phone/ winter emergency kit in the boot
does he have satnav ? his phone? phone charger?
If he travels away from home a lot ask him to text when he gets where he is staying.

Little steps.
Scaredoflife · 16/12/2019 14:24

I waited a quite a while (about 18 months) for CBT and eventually got 3 sessions and was told I could be put back on the waiting list if I needed more. They said I have quite extreme anxiety and I was told I’d definitely need more but that was nearly 2 years ago now. Is there anything I can do that is CBT based or just generally good for anxiety while I wait for more treatment?

OP posts:
Mummy0ftwo12 · 16/12/2019 14:25

medication

LIZS · 16/12/2019 14:27

Mindfulness and relaxation techniques, you can get apps to help. Some areas have cbt by phone or online.

Orangeblossom78 · 16/12/2019 14:31

I have also been hiding recently and I have bad anxiety.

Tensixtysix · 16/12/2019 14:33

I used to be scared of the dark and coming across muggers in the street.
I then joined a 'zombie group' and got paid to be the 'scary thing' in the dark. It's strangely liberating and empowering to scare the living daylights out of people that if you met them on the street you'd feel intimidated.
Push yourself out of your comfort zones.
No point in worrying, as the thing you fear the most is how you'll react.

Livebythecoast · 16/12/2019 14:41

Anxiety is horrible as it distorts your thoughts and makes small things huge and huge things impossible.
I've just finished a course of hypnotherapy. I was skeptical and was never in a 'trance ', just relaxed and you use alot of visualisation techniques for your fears. It's all about your subconscious mind (the anxiety) and your conscious mind. It's very interesting and has helped me. Unfortunately it isn't available on the NHS so I did have to pay but it was worth it.

Scaredoflife · 16/12/2019 14:55

I can’t take medication unfortunately, due to other health conditions.
I have looked into Mindfulness and the Headspace app seems good. Are there any others? Will also look into hypnotherapy.
I just get a lot of “we’ll try not thinking about it” when I talk to friends/family which is obviously a lot easier said than done haha. I also don’t want to pass it on to my children if they see their mum anxious ALL the time!

OP posts:
Scaredoflife · 16/12/2019 14:57

Sorry should read “well” not “we’ll”

OP posts:
aibutohavethisusername · 16/12/2019 15:23

I have a good app called insight timer which has guided meditations and meditative music on.

Icecreamsoda99 · 16/12/2019 15:32

Can you afford private counciling? You are catastrophizing (I used to as well but counciling really helped), my understanding is that it's partly the caveman parts of our brains which had to quickly scan the landscape and think through different scenarios in order to survive and partly due to previous experiences related often to childhood. It's horrible but the more you understand what is causing it the more controllable it becomes Flowers

Emeeno1 · 16/12/2019 15:34

There is lots of research online about why we think the way we do. You could try searching for the terms 'magical thinking' and 'catastrophising' two ways of thinking that are very common during anxiety. You are not alone.

ChickenNugget86 · 17/12/2019 00:31

You sound very similar to myself. All the things you have mentioned I often feel. I was diagnosed a few years ago with general anxiety disorder (GAD)

I've always been a bit anxious/shy but it went completely off the scale when my Mum passed away suddenly. It was a very tramatic event and it's took me years to get better.

What worked for me was seeing a good CBT therapist for around 20 sessions. I was very lucky as she was amazing. She helped me get over all the odd scenarios I was thinking on a daily basis. After 2/3 years it creeped in again and I relapsed so went back into the mental health system. Thankfully it was with the same therapist again and I could just continue.

I find every few years it starts again and I just refer myself and wait for the appointment. My work is another option as I could go through occ health if needed. Antidepressants didn't work for me unfortunately.

The waiting times on the NHS are a long time unfortunately but I think you would benefit from a good run of sessions.

I still don't like it when:

the phone rings even if I know who is calling
I know a parcel is due, can't face opening the door
Making appointments
Driving to work every day in case I crash
DH late getting home - think something bad had happened
Worrying Ive left electric items on
Thinking I'll die suddenly like my mum.... Its so tiring at times.

When my mind starts thinking these things I read a script to myself of 'I am over thinking and being silly' my issue is I get over one worry then another random one will start. Its so frustrating!

But I am better than I used to be. Maybe doing a worry diary might help??

I know how horrible it feels, hope you can feel better soon

somm · 17/12/2019 01:21

I read somewhere (a novel, not a self-help book - might have been Stephen King) that fear is anxiety about the unknown. Wish I could remember how the writer put it, but it made such sense to me that I wrote down my own version of his definition of fear and carry it in my purse. It's along the lines that the one true fear is fear of the unknown, so why be scared of what you can't know? After all it doesn't even exist.

I suffer massively from anxiety, but this does help. When something bad happens we deal with it when it occurs. We won't deal with it differently just because we've driven ourselves round the bend worrying about what might happen. I'm not saying people can actively stop themselves from worrying and being anxious all the time (I certainly can't), but it gives me a sense of perspective.

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