To stick my fingers in my ears and sing when talking to ILs? Child safety...

[BlingLoving]

I love my in laws really. we have our ups and downs but broadly they're great. But oh my god, their PARANOIA is driving me crazy.

SIL wants to watch every video, and thinks we should be showing DC the same, in which you get to watch a child being groomed on the internet. You know, the videos where it's supposedly all about children's safety but where the message is, "if you're a bit silly it's entirely your own fault if you get raped or groomed".

FIL is constantly expressing surprise that the DC don't have to hold my hand for every second when we're out and about, is shocked that we're looking forward to Ds being able to leave/come to school alone (in year 6!!) etc etc. He's not wild about normal kids activities like playdates or classes either but I've managed to avoid engaging on that and am not sure of his exact issues, if any.

They see the world as this terrible place filled with monsters and while of course I want my children to know how to protect themselves, I can't stand this attitude and it's really annoying me. Usually I can cope with it but FIL is staying with us currently so it's just feeling a bit more intense.

It's also annoying as if I try to counter with details of what I am doing to keep my children safe, they don't even pretend to listen. I could cope if they listened and disagreed, but they don't even listen at all.

And deep breaths. Feel better for the rant already!

Very frustrating. My own DM can be like this. My DD is 21 and lives in a nearby city. She often gets the train back and forth to our home town for work and sometimes doesn't finish work until 8pm. My DM is horrified that I 'let' DD go home on the train that late at night! She also questions me about where DD is going at the weekends and whether she is going out socialising in teh city. She can't unerstand why I don't know DDs every move. How do I know she's safe etc?

She once shouted at my DDad to go with DS to the toilet in a restaurant as you never know who's in toilets. DS was 13 at the time!

Oh god, that sounds horrendous @seaviewbliss. DC are still quite young but yes, I foresee issues with things like toilets in restaurants etc in the not too distant future. My big worry is that they transfer this paranoia to my children. But hopefully they want to be independent and will "fight" back.

Come to think of it, I haven't really been out anywhere with FIL on this trip yet. It's entirely possible we may come up against a few issues in places I least expect it. I ddi let them go by themselves to the treats aisle in co op yesterday while I was getting frozen peas. I bet thats the kind of thing they'd all have a meltdown about.

While sensible safety precautions and risk assessments are a must, of course, on the whole I think that the more you trust other people, the happier your life will be. Hyper-suspicion is a form of self-imposed misery. Most people are decent. Life works better if you see the world that way.

I think this sort of paranoia gets worse as people age.