I can´t stand know-it-all

[iceymonkey]

Know-it-all is a school mum, And as the name says, she knows everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

Once I have dropped DC1 and DC2 I usually stop to say hi to some mum friends and know-it-all is ALWAYS there. And she butts in any conversation I have with any of my other friends to reply on their behalf. Literally.

Imagine Jane is telling you about her new vacuum cleaner.(riveting I know) She interrupts to tell you literally product codes, prices and which one she bought. Or Mary went to the beautician to have her eyebrows done. Know-it-all interrupts Mary to tell everyone all about which face shapes suit certain eyebrow shapes.

She is an expert in every field, medicine, geography, law, education....if you have any questions, know-it-all will reply,and noone else can talk.

She also likes to analyse my baby who is happily sitting in her pram and give unwanted advice on her skin-clothes-nails-hair, ANYTHING.

AIBU to despise this woman? do you have a know-it-all in your life? I just like having a little chat with my other friends but she is ALWAYS there so I am starting to think its just not worth it.

Jesus, calm down,

Perhaps she doesn't like you very much?

I assume she doesn't actually know everything and gets things wrong? What happens if people call her out on things?

The product code thing made me think, could this woman be Autistic? Not trying to diagnose but it might be worth giving her benefit of doubt.
That was my immediate thought.

@AnyMinuteNow perhaps, but unfortunately it's the other way round... I try to ignore her but she approaches me every day.

@Equanimitas she raises and eyebrow and looks at you with a "are you kidding me" kind of face... 🙄

My sister is World Expert on Everything and it's definitely due to insecurity so I cut her a lot of slack despite the constant "you don't want to do it like that" comments. She's a child expert with no children (I have 2), a business expert who works for us, a marriage expert who has never had a long-term relationship (we've been married 33 years), a dog expert who's never had a dog (we have 2) etc etc. She has one friend but they rarely see each other as they rub each other up the wrong way. She lives with our mother and has quite a sad life so while we find her very frustrating to be around we just let it go, which isn't always easy.

If you’ve been to Tenerife, she’s been to Elevenerife.

The way it’s going on mumsnet, break your arm and somebody will come along and say your Autistic. It literally seems like nobody can just be a pain, just like plain food, violent, etc etc without being people automatically saying the words Autism/Autistic.

As a parent of a severely autistic child, it really peeves me off.

My diagnosis of her would be she's a tosser, that's the extent of my medical knowledge and the extent I would worry about her.

When she finishes butting in, just ignore her and say to the other person "as I was saying before I was interrupted..".

Agh this thread totally reminds me of my FIL! Seems more unusual for a woman to be like this (although not rare)

When I was pregnant with my first, he was suddenly a midwife.

People like this are exhausting to be around. I used to get along with FIL but I find him hard to be around now.

I think he’s worse with me as I’m a woman and a petite one at that.

YANBU. Following this thread for advice though.

So, this lady is sharing unwanted information and she doesn't do turn-taking in conversations. She is switched to broadcast. She has a "thing" about what's in backpacks and she is making up explanations that keep her own world consistent and safe. She thinks you are her friend because you have been friendly to her in the past and you are not openly unkind to her now.

She is boring but harmless. Stop worrying about anything she says. There is a useful definition in The Meaning of Liff (quoting from memory)- "Nazeing - the sounds a parent makes when a small child brings them an uninteresting object to admire". You can just keep Nazeing at her. (It's the more kindly social version of Grey Rock).

AIBU to despise this woman?

You don't have to like her and she is irritating but I would hate to have someone "despise" me because I am unconsciously irritating. You could even reasonably feel a bit sorry for her.

do you have a know-it-all in your life?

My world is full of them. As we say in my family, "those of you who THINK you know everything are annoying those of us who DO".

I just like having a little chat with my other friends but she is ALWAYS there so I am starting to think its just not worth it.

Yes, it is very difficult to have a "little chat" when someone takes over like that, whether they know what they're doing or not. But she has the right to be at the school gate so she'll be hard to get rid of. And I'm not convinced that justifies being unkind to her. Sorry, despite plenty of experience I've no easy answers to that one.

As a parent of a severely autistic child, it really peeves me off.

If she was autistic at all she'd be "high-functioning" not "severe" so she would probably be very different from your DC. But she's not very different from some people I know who do have high-functioning autism (or Asperger's) so it's not an especially silly thing to say.

I see your DC has a heavy back pack. mine never brings any books home because he is gifted and doesn't need to do any extra work at home. But I guess all children are different... Then she pulled a smug face

OP, if this type of incident is happening constantly, I can appreciate how galling it must be. Killing with kindness is usually the best way to go in these situations, because you are not forced to endure this silly woman for extended periods. But the smuggery, yeah, I can see that's hard to deal with.

If it continues, & you find yourself on the verge of exploding, you could try the old MN shut-down technique.
As she launches into her Diss You & Yours / Parade Mine / Smug Odious Comparison Mode - you just interrupt before she has time to drop the smug-bomb.
Hold up your hand, say emotionlessly "if I could just stop you there (Name)" - & then when she pauses - WALK AWAY without another word.

It's not kind, & it is rude.
So you have to decide whether intentional rudeness is justified, given that hers may be unintentional ... but if she's a repeat offender, its likely she knows exactly what she is doing. Only you can tell, so only you can decide.
Personally, after several 'offences' I'd do it without compunction, because I don't need SchoolGatePolitics or SchoolMum relationships in my life. If you do, beware, as it will become a topic of conversation, & you may end up The Baddie.

@amaryllis, cant tag you, not sure why. Thank you for your message, makes a lot of sense.
Love the Neizing
Yes I'm nice to her because I feel sorry for her, but I do blank her relentless advice, when really I'd love to tell her to shut up.

You need to stop the passive aggressive and tell her all the stuff you are so busy telling everyone else behind her back.

Or perhaps you enjoy doing this rather than speaking to her direct.

I should bookmark this thread, so the next time there's a mansplaining thread I can defend "man"-kind by point out that women do this as well.

@iceymonkey oh my GOD these are the worst!! They go hand in hand with those people who always have to go one up on you, you know the "I went to Tenerife" "
..well I went to to Elevenerife" types.
Just smile and nod but use her picture as a darts target at the pub.