To ask you to read this

[Fatasfooook]

Article if you have a daughter with an iPhone and access to social media.

medium.com/@sloane_ryan/im-a-37-year-old-mom-i-spent-seven-days-online-as-an-11-year-old-girl-here-s-what-i-learned-9825e81c8e7d?

medium.com/@sloane_ryan/im-a-37-year-old-mom-i-spent-seven-days-online-as-an-11-year-old-girl-here-s-what-i-learned-9825e81c8e7d?

So many of our kids are given a device and access to the internet and social media platforms. Are we making a mistake by doing this? I have a daughter approaching the age where she will be asking for this to be in line with her peers and I really feel like I want to protect her from it. What are your experiences?

I had to stop reading that half way through, it made me feel sick.

We got the Internet when I was 12 and home internet was starting to become mainstream. There were no such talks on Internet safety or child protection. There wasn't Instagram but the most exciting things (to me) was MSN chat rooms, the ability to talk to people all around the world. Internet wasn't available on phones and I knew nobody who had individual computers or laptops, there was just a dedicated computer room or space where the family PC was. Yet I spent hours on chat rooms, in full view of my family being, looking back at it, groomed (not with them watching, obviously, but I mean they were sat in the same room while I was having conversations I shouldn't have been having at 12). We also got a webcam a couple of years later and I was coerced into talking to other boys "my age" (of course they weren't, but how is a naive 14 year old meant to know that?) and took several pictures I was persuaded to and went 'live' on camera on MSN messenger and Yahoo messenger for the pleasure of men I didn't know.

I would be petrified letting a child of mine on the internet and social media ordinarily but the phone/portable aspect makes it ten times worse IMO. i would personally not give in until they've reached the minimum age advised by the app/site to be allowed on it (which I believe is 13[?] for Instagram and Snapchat) so I wouldn't allow an 11 year old on it, no matter how much they begged. When they reached the age I would be sure to read up on everything about it and learn how to set up parental controls and locks and anything else the security in the apps provide. I would also periodically check their messages and the people they were talking to. I don't care if that makes me sound like I would be a controlling parent.

Wow I’m sorry that you had that experience. It’s such a scary thought. Even if you protect your own child from it, all their friends have it so the chances of them being exposed to it all is still high. It’s so easy to see explicit images on google too.

My god, that's terrifying. I'm. Not easily shocked at all, but the sheer number of predators contacting them is truly horrifying.

Jesus Christ. My dd is never having a phone! Seriously though, how do we combat this? I wish more parents would take charge and not let their young kids online/gaming (which is another platform that I understand is over run with predators. Then it would also remove the peer pressure. I never had MSN when growing up whilst it was just becoming a big thing, but I remember feeling left out of a lot of conversations that I perceived were going on out of school, I imagine it’s similar with instagram/game rooms. I’m thankful now of course.

This is horrific. I remember the same sort of thing in the Yahoo chatroom (which formed a part of our IT lessons ) in the late 90s. Luckily I was naive enough to mention a few of my "new friends" to my parents who closed that shit down super-fast. I don't think dick pics were a thing at that time though, thank God.

I couldn't read it all, what a bunch of fucking cunts! it makes me so fucking angry.

We have to keep educating our children so they stay safe and grow up to be decent human beings

@Solihooley
I wish more parents would take charge and not let their young kids online/gaming (which is another platform that I understand is over run with predators.

It's everywhere with technology. I read something recently about someone who put a Ring camera in their child's room to keep an eye on them when they weren't at home (which to me, is stupid, given children get changed in their rooms) which got hacked and predators started talking to the children through them. There are loads of similar stories online. Even baby monitors can get hacked.

I never had MSN when growing up whilst it was just becoming a big thing, but I remember feeling left out of a lot of conversations that I perceived were going on out of school

This is the other side of the coin that I didn't address in my earlier post, but I meant to. I was quite unpopular beforehand but using MSN Messenger saved me from being an outcast during my time at school because it was coming into prominence at the time, me and most of my peers activity was based solely through MSN messenger on the evenings, even if we'd spent all day together at school, and I got 'accepted' through it and bullying stopped. If my parents had banned me from it, it would have made my life miserable and I would have been isolated so much, more than I was beforehand. From what I've heard though, the main bullying happens through apps and social media these days

It's a difficult one. Online gaming and social media are ubiquitous yet some parents are terrifyingly blasé about it all.

You wouldn't let your kid walk down an alleyway on their own so why is it OK to allow kids unfettered access to dark alleyways online.

I've spoken to DC1 and said, without going into details, that people can say they are anything they want to be online and not everyone is a friend. We went through the friends list and deleted anyone who wasn't actually known with an explanation given each time. I'm reasonably happy now that any new friends are children genuinely known to him or real friends which is a win.
Knows never to give any details etc and to tell us immediately if anyone does anything odd.

Gaming account is a child account linked to my parent account. Activity breakdown email is received weekly. The system also has a pretty good smartphone app which allows real time monitoring etc and a nuclear get the hell off that switch too which is a godsend.

No mobile phone yet. Has a tablet but heavily restricted access (kids account only). Camera has a sliding cover (inexpensive from ebay and work for laptops too).

Am I being over cautious or controlling? No. There are some sick evil bastards out there.

Props to the school as they run safety sessions for kids and parents (about 10 people showed up. Sigh).

DC1 will be trusted online but by the time full access is granted, it's been earned.

It’s so difficult. I really wish it was illegal or something because there are so many parents that don’t think twice so all the kids have smart phones and social media apps so they all want it. I would happily not ever let my child on until they were 16 but I know she would be the only child and that would create its own problems.