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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask for words of encouragement before work today.

45 replies

bluesteakandcheese · 16/12/2019 07:01

Sat here, half dressed, feeling absolutely sick to the stomach about going into work today.
We had our office Christmas party on Saturday and it is looking like I am not the most well liked person there - my colleague made this quite clear.
I have only been employed since the end of August therefore still on probation.
I've tried and tried to fit in with the team, staying out of any office gossip and generally trying to be a decent person to work with.
I am now terrified that some people's personal view of me are going to get me sacked before my probation ends in Feb.
I'm probably going to get told to man up and grow some balls but I am just dreading going in. Knowing I'm not liked is fucking awful.
AIBU? Or WWYD?

OP posts:

CuriousaboutSamphire · 16/12/2019 07:39

The chances of anything they said being true of the whole office is a big fat zero!

As others have said, the most likely cause of offence is the 2 of them having had their noses put out of joint by you for reasons only Mean Girls could fully understand - like doing your job!

Don't talk the either of them but do talk to your manager (I'd be tempted to make that obvious and watch them squirm).

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 16/12/2019 07:39

I think it sounds more like she feels uncomfortable for some reason

Some places of work are very cliquey, they form friendships and if you come in and are not willing to play your part it puts others out. Most will just accept that you don’t want to be part of the clique but there is often one who will be put out by this - it’s their problem not yours.

While it’s nice to get in with colleagues it’s work not a social gathering for some it is

It’s sounds very typical of school billy mentality. No one cares if you don’t want to be part of the clique apart from someone who is over involved

Honestly go in kill her with kindness and don’t get pulled into her nasty game - she wasn’t being nice or helpful she was being spiteful

Minky35 · 16/12/2019 07:40

This smacks of shit stirring to me. I wouldn’t speak to the 2 who said this, except to be bright and utterly professional.

Blinkingblimey · 16/12/2019 07:44

I think you should note down what was said and then go with option 2 (carry on as normal) with the addition of killing with kindness. Only speak to your manager if it becomes obvious there really is a problem (not that these 2 are just nasty individuals who need someone to bitch about). Good luck today, deep breath, do your job well and yes to gin at home time🍸!

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 16/12/2019 07:45

Sorry just sent there was two comments

Oh office gossipy bitches. Don’t get pulled in really it’s their problem.

Speak to your manager if anyone

MyOtherProfile · 16/12/2019 07:48

Definitely sounds like they're jealous. I would speak to your manager just to protect yourself in case they get worse.

Savingforarainyday · 16/12/2019 07:52

Don't talk to the colleagues- be professional. Whether they like you or not has no bearing on how well you can do your job.
If you get pulled in, it will muddy the waters.

Maybe cool off a bit, and then chat to your manager.

EnglishRain · 16/12/2019 07:56

My gut reaction is that there is jealousy at play here. Sounds like two bullies trying to make you feel uncomfortable. I take it they don't manage you?

I'd be tempted to mention this to your manager in your next 1 to 1. Otherwise try desperately to not care in front of them. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of asking them about it. They did it at the party on purpose.

Keepmewarm · 16/12/2019 07:57

Speak to your manager to see if there is a problem first. It may be simply that these two are bad eggs.

sashh · 16/12/2019 08:04

All you actually know is that one person doesn't like you.

Talk to your manager, be professional and polite. Say you have been made aware the office doesn't feel the same to others since you started and ask what you can do to change things.

Your manager will probably not have a clue what you are talking about.

Ginfordinner · 16/12/2019 08:18

This sounds they are nasty bullies

Original poster

bluesteakandcheese · 16/12/2019 08:25

Going to slap on a smile and be nice as pie today.
Thanks for the advice guys, really appreciate it. Hope you all have a good Monday x

OP posts:

BaileysMadeMeDoIt · 16/12/2019 08:25

These pathetic women are little more than playground bullies with their "nobody likes you" infantile behaviour.There's always one in any large company, and in your case it looks like there are two. As a PP said perhaps a friend or family member of theirs applied for the job, or the person you replaced was part of their coven, if so then the atmospere needed to change. Or perhaps, and highly likely, they are shown up by your professionalism and need to take you down a peg to feel better about themselves.

Definitely speak to your manager. This is a horrible situation and I would feel mortified too but you can rise above it. Be professional when dealing with them and focus on others who you do get on with. If they make further comments perhaps just chuckle and give your head a little shake.

Bodyposiftw · 16/12/2019 08:25

I once quit a job for similar reasons.
I tried to fit in and stay away from gossip, and I think they didn't like it.
They wanted to gossip and badmouth everyone.
I feel better for leaving.
On the other hand, if you like your job you really shouldn't have to leave.
I bet these two girls are not that well liked.
Anyway, even if you had done something wrong, it is unprofessional and rude to broach the topic at what should be a fun, social event.
They are in the wrong and they should feel bad, not you.
Hugs and keep us posted!

Chickychickydodah · 16/12/2019 08:29

I would go to your line manager or hr dept and complain .

BigcatLittlecat · 16/12/2019 18:45

How did you get on today?

Original poster

bluesteakandcheese · 16/12/2019 23:49

@bigcatlittlecat really well, thank goodness. And thank you for asking/checking in, means a lot. Seems everyone else was just as shocked as I was about the comments being made to me. So it is looking like I wasn't being unreasonable (for once, lol) x

OP posts:

Flightsoffancy · 17/12/2019 06:33

Good! I'm glad it went well.

Bodyposiftw · 17/12/2019 07:31

Great news. They are clearly stupid women.

NearlyGranny · 17/12/2019 07:41

Good for you! Some people...🙄

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