'Educate yourself.' (when someone says something about something, and someone disagrees, and thinks they know better.)
'You sound angry,' when someone is passionate and emotional about something.
'Book yourself a spa day.' (If someone is frazzled.)
Take in some ironing, get a little cleaning job (if someone is struggling financially.')
'Leave the bastard!' (if the OP's husband/partner has left his dirty coffee mug on the dining table.)
Generally how SOME people seem to think it's so easy to just LEAVE and start over, when you are married/have kids with someone, and are heavily invested in them with finances and extended family. 'Retrain for a new career OP. You're only 56, you're just a spring chicken! There are ooooodles of employers out there who are desperate to employ women nudging the door of 60, on £55K a year, as a new trainee in a career they have never worked in.'
'Why are you saying you're in your late 50s as if that is old. Late 50s is YOUNG. I know loads of women of that age who run marathons, and go to the gym once a day, and play squash 3 times a week, and have absolutely NO ailments at all.'
Of COURSE it's OK to have a baby at 45; most women I know had their first baby older than that. It's totally common in MY social circle (aka upper middle class professionals! They are never the working classes!) 
'I spat my tea out all over the keyboard.' No you didn't.
'Are you on glue?' (Who SAYS this FGS?)
'Why on earth are you cooking your DH's evening meal?' followed by this >>> 
'Why on earth have you taken your husband's surname? Is this the dark ages? Are you his possession? Why did he not take YOUR name? You are bowing to the patriarchy. SHAME on you.' 
'Shaved your pubic hair? Is your husband sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children?'
'You sound young OP.' (You're a bit thick and naive aren't you?)
'Why did you have children with this man?' Priceless, dumb-as-fuck comment!
'You sound entitled' to someone who is unhappy with something/ANYthing!
'Oh here comes the bigoted, daily mail reader' to anyone who says anything remotely negative about people on benefits, even if it's justified.
'Do you have comprehension problems?'
'Is English not your first language?'
'You sound like hard work OP.'
'I simply could NOT get worked up about this.*
And when someone is horrible/aggressive towards you.. 'It sounds like they could be suffering from altzheimers' (if they're senior age) 'or autism' if they're younger. (Like, they couldn't just be a moody horrible so-and-so who hates everyone!)
Finally, when someones partner is being a rotten, arsey, moody git... 'He sounds depressed!'
(Oooooooooooh that was a bit long!)