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AIBU?

Do any of you get sick and tired of playing with your children?

67 replies

SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:01

Wow that title came across as a it harsh- never meant to sound like a bitch!

So I have a 12 year old who does her own thing and a nearly 4 year old. I’m a single mum. Today I feel like I’ve non stop played with her. I’ve painted pictures with her. Drawed with her. Played dollies with her and then painted again. I just feel exhausted because all day ive been listening to the words ‘mum, mum, mum’ and I feel like I need a 5 minute breather. I love my kids so much but does anyone else feel like their littlest ones are on their case all day? I have tried my very best to entertain and her and play with her and right now I’ve taken 5 mins to come on mumsnet and all I’ve got is ‘mum, mum, mum’ in my ear still. Is it just me being mean or do any other mums feel like this sometimes?

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jakeyboy1 · 15/12/2019 19:03

It's hard very hard. My mum says we do too much with them sometimes I think she's right! I am partial to TV and movies as well though that I know some people won't do. Save your sanity I say.

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:05

Thanks for your reply! I do try to put on the tv but as soon as I walk out the room- so does she!

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RoxanneMonke · 15/12/2019 19:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alpacamabags · 15/12/2019 19:09

I have a 4 and 3 year old and oh my goodness yes! It's not so much I want to be doing anything else but just that I want quiet and head space for 5 minutes. I have been known to need the toilet (locked) for a 5 minute breather 😂 even then they are on the other side of it!

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:12

Yes that’s exactly it Alpacamabags! There’s not anything I want to be doing right now other than have another of silence! I feel guilty even reading my post back but today I feel like bed time can’t come quick enough just so I can hear myself think!

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Eveting2019 · 15/12/2019 19:13

My one is younger and still naps. How I cherish those moments...

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Littlebearstrousers · 15/12/2019 19:16

I don't mind certain types of play, I can play board games or go to the park for hours, I am even mental enough to like soft play!
Crafts I like, bike rides, reading to her...love it.

On the other hand, any type of roleplay games with barbies, figures, dolls etc where I have to "act" a part is frankly fucking tedious and I get fed up v v quickly.

Yanbu

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:19

Yes Littlebearstrousers- role play is the worse! Having to sit there holding a dolly talking and acting 😩 after 5 minutes the enthusiasm is my voice certainly disappears haha

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 15/12/2019 19:20

This is what the outside is for. Every time dd makes noises about playing doctors or schools I just shove our coats on and leave the house.

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Littlebearstrousers · 15/12/2019 19:22

I have a bossy little madam too so she tells me what to say and do with each doll etc which makes it worse and i'm dying to escape!

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:25

I wish my 2 were closer in age! I get so jealous seeing siblings play with eachother. My little one has no body to play with at home.

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Sunshinegirl82 · 15/12/2019 19:26

Of course! I'm in my 30's, I don't want to play shops or make a pizza out of fucking play doh. I do it because I love my DC (obviously!) but it's beyond tedious. I think it's normal to feel that way (I hope!)

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Oysterbabe · 15/12/2019 19:27

I've got a nearly 4 year old and it does my head right in. The worst game is when I have to play the baddies trying to catch her Anna and Elsa dolls and put them in jail. It can go on for an hour. I'm willing her 2 year old brother to grow up faster so he can take over.

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FromTheAllotment · 15/12/2019 19:28

YANBU. I have an independent 6yo and a needy 3yo and ohmygod the 3yo is so demanding it makes my head spin. He simultaneously takes 100% of my attention and yet is boring (sorry DS but there is only so much doing the same thing over and over and over again I can take). Even if I try and do chores it gets turned into games like “chase me with the Hoover” “bury me in the washing” and I just find him exhausting.

I am clinging to the hope that he will start to be a bit more independent in the next year or so, starting school did wonders for his sister. But YANBU at all.

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Frightenedforthefuture · 15/12/2019 19:35

I have two DC, one who cannot entertain herself and another who can play by himself for hours (it is luck which sort you get). I can role play for about 5 mins before wanting to scream (although happy to build Lego/train tracks until the cows come home) so I organise other children to come over to play as often as possible. From the age of 4 onwards I arranged as many playdates as possible - other children are the best entertainment! There is always a lot to tidy away at the end of the day (their favourite game always seems to be getting ALL the toys out) but it's still better than playing myself. Even better the other mums reciprocate so I have truly child free time! The key is to make friends with parents who don't feel the need to accompany their children otherwise you can't get on with your stuff. Just yesterday I made a Christmas wreath while supervising four children creating a tip on my sitting room floor - it took 20 mins to clear up after bath time, but I got 3 hours of pretty much uninterrupted time!

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speakout · 15/12/2019 19:36

Don't underestimate the power of outside physical play.

Like dogs, childrens energy can be drained by exertion. A good brisk walk, kicking a football, playpark. Once home hopefully they won't be quite as enthusuiastic about everything.
Children also need to understand that parents have tasks to do, and parents need down time too.
So a child looking for activity does not always need to play- they can be directed towards some tasks, I know its hard when kids are young, having them "help" is extra work, but involving them does pay off in the long run. So have them help prepare veg, make a salad, set the table pair socks, clean an area etc.
I would have "kits" prepared, like a tub of ( home made) play dough, pastry cutters, rolling pin etc. A large plastic mat, so that a child can play on the floor, you can sit and have a coffee , and talk about what they are doing, without you actually having to participate.

For what it's worth my two were very close in age but rarely played together!

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speakout · 15/12/2019 19:38

And yes to lots of play dates. Take sthe pressure off- Again set up some activity that you can keep an eye on- preferably downstairs, other wise two 4 year olds will make a terrible mess of a a bedroom.

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Turquoisetamborine · 15/12/2019 19:41

So glad someone else has said this! I have an 11 Yr old and a 4yr old too. The 11 Yr old has always been quite easygoing and enjoyed cuddling up watching a film when I was knackered but the little one won't watch TV for more than five minutes and if he does he wants me in the same room also watching it and talking about what's happening on the screen nonstop.
I love him to bits but I could sometimes just do with a break from him and he also talks constantly so I can never think about anything if he's here.
I do like some types of play with him like jigsaws and reading books. Going for days out and to the park are good too.

It does end though.

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:42

Speakout that is such brill advice. Thank you! She does help with lots of things and she enjoys it but right now not having a 5 minute sit down to rest and think is killing me. Also the constant mum mum mum does not help 🤣 I will take your advice though!

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:45

Yes mike is the same. I’ll put her favourite programmes on the tv and walk out of the room to do something and she’s behind me within a few minutes. I think she hates being left on her own bless her. I get followed to the toilet most times too

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:46

I meant mine not Mike that would be a weird name for a girl lol

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VenusTiger · 15/12/2019 19:46

I know exactly how you feel OP - some people (still 🙄) make comments about how an only child is “easier” - okay yeah right!! My son is a constant “mom look at this” “mom what’s this for” “mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom” 😳😳
Can your older kid play with sibling? Honestly, I’m ‘trying’ iyswim, not just for that reason, but because I feel awful that he’s on his “own” and constantly wants my attention all the time. Even if he’s playing or writing on his own, he has to include me every step of the way, which is sweet, but I can hardly get anything done.
Love him to bits of course.

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SimonJT · 15/12/2019 19:50

Today I have spent over four hours on a train with my four year old, if I hear the phrase “lets play pretend” one more time I might stick pins in my eyeballs.

If it’s something like lego I don’t mind, but lets pretend gets on my nerves unless it’s lets pretend baby edition.

I have the twenty minute rule, Dads play is sitting alone in his bedroom for twenty minutes!

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SilverGlitterSparkle · 15/12/2019 19:51

The 12 year old does play with her sometimes. She doesn’t just ignore she’s there but she’s at that age where she will sit in her room watching things ok her iPad or drawing or wherever. She has to hide when she does her homework too as little one will demand for some pens and want to ‘help’. All sounds so cute when written down but in reality can be quiet annoying!

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SomeKindOfMonster · 15/12/2019 19:52

I have a 12 yr old and just turned 4 year old and they both make me feel like this 😅

If I'm not talking about bands I've never heard of, I'm getting lumped being daddy pig, driving the family to the park and home constantly.

Sometimes I clean things that are already clean just so I can say I'm busy.

I feel guilty too and have no advice, but definitely not alone OP.

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