Ex and sons haircuts

[Originalusernameunavailable]

This probably sounds quite trivial and I’m sorry if this is a bit blunt in my wording.

DS’s 6 & 8 have gone to their dad for the weekend on the pretence that they were having their family Christmas gathering.

DS has messaged me to say they haven’t done anything Christmas based, they’ve been taken to the supermarket and for haircuts.

The issue here is my ex husband seems obsessed with getting the kids haircuts. They are by no means scruffy and they have regular haircuts at home.

DS is upset because he says his dad forced him to have a certain haircut (to match his step brother) and DS was wanting to grow his hair so he could have a particular style, which is what I had agreed with him.

This has happened several times before and each time I raise it with my ex he just says it’s up to him if they have a haircut and I shouldn’t worry about it.

Obviously my son being upset is one thing and I will speak with him when he comes home to make sure he’s ok, but am I being unreasonable to really lay it out to ExH to stop getting their haircut?

What annoys me more is he’s chosen to use his one day in 14 with them to do something like that when he could have spent quality time with them doing something they want to do like swimming etc. This is an ongoing issue with ex and that’s a whole other thread.

So to put it bluntly, my kids are going to come home with scalped chavvy haircuts and my ex thinks this is ok.

AIBU to lay into him for making son have a haircut he specifically didn’t want?

I would go to court and stop this lager lout having access to the children.

@soontobe60 Did you actually read the post??

Op does he get their hair cut regularly? If so, what would happen if your kids said no and put their hands over their head to stop it? If they're getting it done at home would he forcible pin them down and do it / hack between their arms so it's so awful thry have to concede? Or would it stop him?

Empowering the kids to stand up to the bully might be a better long term solution

Will probably be berated and labelled as OTT for saying this, but it's borderline abuse - he is physically forcing your children into something they do not want to do, which they have verbalised. Control over another person's body is disrespectful and condescending and your bots won't grow up to respect their dad in return.

@bluebluezoo Two of my daughters have waist length hair. It doesn’t require hours and hours of care, not even close. One of my daughters has a short bob and that’s by far the most PITA hair style.

The point is that the children have repeatedly said NO. Forcing a child to do something with their body that they don’t want to do is fucking awful.

Court!! Dont be ridiculous. It wont last for long they are only 6 and 8. Soon they wont even sit down for him.

I feel sorry for the bot who want to grow his hair but really you need to chill..

@Tothemoonandbackx
Yes, why?