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To think this could actually work out?

9 replies

Nutter50028 · 15/12/2019 12:04

I think I’m crazy, but hear me out. I’ve been Mapping my 5 year goals down. I have a 5 year old, a 3 year old and a 9 month old, I’ve always wanted 4 kids so lately I’ve been thinking about my 4th and last. Only thing is I’m due to start uni sept 2020. Hmm

I’m thinking to start my 1st year and TTC around same time for a summer July/august baby 2021. Then take a year off and go back at September 2022 for my second year when the baby will be 1 & my 3 DC will all be in school 2 full time nd 1 part time when I go back. Graduate 2024 when my 4th baby will be 3 and almost in full time education that way I’d have 4 children who are all in full time education, have graduated and a possible start of my career without worrying about childcare costs or having babies.

So far all 3 of my pregnancies has been a total breeze just fatigue but no other extreme symptoms I know they can all be different but I’m hoping the 4th to be a smooth one too.

I’m terms of support, My partner is supportive but does a 9-5 job so won’t be much help during the day but I have my mum near me and she has agreed to help me 100% with childcare.

Am I absolutely nutterly unreasonable to think this could all work out? Confused

Has anyone had to juggle between kids, pregnancy, a baby and a degree at any point in their lives? Grin

Btw I’m 26 Smile

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


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happymrsc · 15/12/2019 12:08

Not me personally but lots of the women on my midwifery degree stopped and started for maternity leave etc and totally nailed it so it's definitely do-able though obviously be under no illusion it will be easy studying alongside 4 children! But I'm sure you can do it if you're determined.


Nutter50028 · 15/12/2019 12:12

@happymrsc I’m very determined! Another issue is that it’s a nursing degree haha I don’t know what’ll happen first, loose my hair or fry my brain, either way Im determined to not have drop out as an option. Thanks for your reply x

OP posts:

Andysbestadventure · 15/12/2019 12:12

You want 4 kids by 30, are you mad? How can you afford a 4th? How can you even afford 3 at 26 and DH only working a 9-5? Unless he's paid an absolute fortune.

Get your degree out of the way and start your career. You never know what could happen with your Mum being available for childcare or TTC. Also you'll still have childcare costs when you start work, wrap-around care and sickness and extras.


TheClausSeason · 15/12/2019 12:15

Crikey. I mean, it's possible but I'm finding it bloody hard to work, keep a house and raise my solitary DD at the moment! Good luck to you, I know I wouldn't want to do it.


Nutter50028 · 15/12/2019 12:22

@andy thanks for you’re reply.

We’re so far managing just fine as DH wage is 37k his job is 9-5 but works hours at home too. I’ve been a stay at home mum for a Good 5 years now I wana spend my 30s doing anything but that. If I have to get mad indoors I’d rather all happening at once but once I’m out there and my kids are in school i no longer want to have a baby to me that’s a step back as I’d have to go back to being a SAHM or ridiculous childcare costs. Also I know were gonna have to cover childcare cost for when I start working but with the kids in school it won’t be as much as paying for a whole week for a baby etc hence our decision of having our 4th so soon after our 3rd.

OP posts:

Nutter50028 · 15/12/2019 12:24

Haha to be honest it would be hard work! And I understand how it’s hard for you too, good luck to us both ey.

OP posts:

happymrsc · 15/12/2019 12:38

@Nutter50028 well if it's nursing I can almost guarantee you will not be the first or last person to do similar, in fact I'd bet money there will be other people in your class doing the same! Degree is important but so are other aspects of your life so if you need to access some of the flexibility on offer to stop/start then I say go for it. Best of luck!


TokenGinger · 15/12/2019 13:23

I'm sure you can do it if you it your mind to it, though consider how hard it would be if you had a tough pregnancy or if your 4th DC has any illnesses or additional needs.

£37k is not a great deal to raise a family of five on, so I suspect it should be quite tight for a family of six although I suppose everybody just lives within their means. I say that from the perspective of wanting to do family holidays each year etc.

The only thing I'd say is, are your children going to get enough quality time from their parents if your DP works full time and you'll be studying.

We only have one baby but I already can't imagine how tough it'll be when I return to work.


Howyiz · 15/12/2019 13:44

If you have been a stay at home mom since you were 21 I would suggest slowing down a bit.
While at this moment you might want 4 there is no guarantee that once you start getting out, studying and changing your life that what you want now will remain the same.
Go to college and after the first year if you still want to have your fourth then do it.

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