Or Should They Just Call It A Day?
MitziK · 15/12/2019 11:44
We live in a house just off the town centre - it's surprisingly quiet considering how close we are to restaurants, bars and clubs.
For the last couple of weeks, any time between 10pm and 3am, there have been a couple arguing in the street, her shrieking at him to FAAAACK OFF and then running after him screaming COME BAAAAAAACK. It sounds as though she chases him round the block at least twice before peeling off to whatever flat they live in (there's a block roughly where the shouting usually starts and finishes by the sounds of it).
He has usually got a far quieter voice - still too fucking loud at 2am, but it doesn't reverberate off the houses like hers does - and he's cross but usually doesn't shout.
Anyhow, she's been chasing him round the block for the last hour. Apparently, she was 'just having fun', he 'doesn't want her to have any fun', she was 'just having a laugh'. He's saying, getting progressively more annoyed by the sound of it, that he 'wants five minutes peace' and she needs to stop 'shouting at him for a change' or 'maybe don't get fucking pissed every night, then'.
Seriously, this is disrupting most nights in the week and now it's disrupting the day.
I wish they would just break up. They're both clearly miserable as sin. Whether she is, as it appears, a total pisshead and sees shrieking at full volume as an effective tool for communication or he's actually an adept gaslighter and stonewaller, it's obviously a shit relationship. And she is going to break an ankle trotting round the block after him at the speed she goes - you get a full on doppler effect from her screams, especially when it's YOU CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT.
I'd love to pop my head out of the front door and suggest that on the next circuit, but obviously that would be near suicidal.
But I'm not daft, am I? If you're that fucking unhappy, surely you just give it up as a bad job?
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
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ScoobyCan · 15/12/2019 12:59
Isn't this classified as disturbing the peace? Breach of the peace?
After adding some obstacles (lol @GingleJangleScarecrow) you could - if this is really disrupting your sleep - complain to the police. If it's bad enough to wake you up I expect there's quite a few people in the same situation. A knock at the door / the arrival of a police car may make the two of them think twice about their nightly and antisocial antics in the future.
MitziK · 15/12/2019 13:21
What do you reckon then?
Set up a few jumps here and there? Couple of haybales?
Maybe some monkey bars to cross the road between Number 2a and the takeaway?
We could sit in judgement upstairs and score her on how effectively she performs each jump, giving 4 faults for each time she screeches whilst both feet are touching the ground?
Maybe even set up a little treehouse up a telegraph pole for him to hide in so she has a treasure hunt circuit?
MitziK · 15/12/2019 13:57
Nah. I've sung professionally, so if I start shouting, I'll wake up the few remaining locals blissfully asleep if that's actually possible. The last thing they need is COME BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKK YOU CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT accompanied by something vaguely resembling The Ride of the Valkyries or the end of It Ain't Half Hot, Mum
ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 15/12/2019 14:28
They sound like our old neighbours, whose award-winning 2am line was '...and then you'll die and I'll be grateful!' They were evicted for not paying their rent and had to live on separate friends' sofas for a while, which we thought might do them good. A few years on, they're married. I gather their relationship had not been fundamentally changed by this.
ScoobyCan · 15/12/2019 16:32
Alternatively can you draw up some posters and place them on their route - things like "does this relationship seem like a healthy one?", "please seek some relationship counselling", or more direct "shut up there are people trying to sleep", so that as she totters around the newly erected obstacle course her attention might be drawn to the messages??
Prawnofthepatriarchy · 16/12/2019 17:57
Thanks for the offer but I live in a conservation area so they'd have to change into picturesque historical costume as they come round the corner and I simply haven't the energy to put the hamper out.
If it were summer I'd send the attack gecko out but he doesn't like the cold weather.
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