Feeling a bit vulnerable and need advice

[wideawakebuttired]

Boyfriend of over 10 years has gone away this weekend. He left yesterday morning and I've not heard from him since. It's almost as if I am out of sight out of mind. I need to have a chat with him when he finally returns sometime today, without having a row, but I'm really not sure what I feel. Part of me feels like I couldn't care less and he can do what he likes but a bigger part of me feels really sad that after all this time together he really couldn't be bothered to pick up the phone and at least let me know that he arrived safely. I know I could have rung him but the likelihood is that he wouldn't have answered his phone. Now I can't sleep with thinking about how to play this. Any advice?

I think you are wise to move on. A text only takes a few seconds. Find yourself a new flat/home and then start your new life you will be happier as obviously you are miserable now. Life is too short make the best of it .

If you’re not going to share the back story, I’m going to take this at face value and say I think you are behaving in a hysterical fashion.

If the backstory is that he regularly does things that leave you feeling uncared for and as though he doesn’t consider you at all then you’re right to be calling it quits at this last straw. Otherwise, I think you have unreasonable expectations. He can see and talk to you any day of the week when you’re together, he doesn’t need to be calling you every day when he’s having fun presumably with people he doesn’t see all the time.

Without a backstory, and in itself, I think him not being in touch is thoughtless. Most loving partners who are interested in each other would check in briefly, I’d have thought. I’d be telling my partner in these circumstances that I felt uneasy.

If this was part of a pattern of similar behaviour, I’d probably be thinking along the lines of him being detached, disinterested, and would be considering my ‘single life’ options too.

I dont think anyone can give you any decent advice without knowing whats gone on before this. At the moment all you've said is 'hes gone away for 24hrs and not contacted me, and in going to leave him'.

Without the back ground, the problem is that actually you xpild be the issue in the relationship.

If this is how you act alot, I would say the problem is yours.

Obviously the background could change that completely.

On the face of it yabu. Without the backstory you are probably not so impossible to say.

YABVVU.

you sound incredibly needy and clingy in a very unhealthy way. Unless there is a backstory which will start dripping....

You want to leave him because he hasn’t contacted you in 24 hours? You know exactly where he is

Don’t punish him for your insecurities.

....you haven’t contacted him in over 24 hours either though?

Do you have any mental health/personality issues OP? This all seems very ott and as if he has failed an imaginary test of yours. Reminiscent of my behaviour when my BPD was untreated...

I think it sounds more like this is the final straw. Best of luck, OP.

Have you text him?

Without the backstory this is difficult to really answer OP. Going on what you've written with no assumptions about anything else then of course YABU.

You say there is a back story but don't want to share it. Fair enough. But then all we can go on is what you have told us. And on what you have told us I think you are are being completely and utterly unreasonable.

I agree. However either way this isn't the relationship for you. There are lovely emotionally clingy men who might be perfect for you.

Thing is with final straws, they're usually quite a small thing and without a backstory then you seem to be a bit needy. I'm assuming that there's more to it though.