Aibu to find this man creepy

[Superfoodie123]

Hi

I live in a new build block of flats and a few months ago I was getting my toddler into her seat in the car park and felt someone watching me. Then saw a man was walking very slowly and very close to our car and was glaring at us, then as he walked past he was glaring back too. I was scared as he came from nowhere then he got to the door and turned and looked at me as if he was going to come back. He didn't and it was ok.

This has happened a few times but luckily since then there have been others in the car park and I've gotten used to it. I assumed he has MH problems and didn't think much more.

Then my brother came to stay last week and I was getting my shopping out of the car and heard someone walk past, when they left my brother was alarmed saying this guy kept looking back at us and watching us when he got through the door (it has a window)

Yesterday I was walking back to the apartments with the buggy and saw him walking in front but was minding my own business, he went in the doors next to our block but as I walked past I could see he turned back and was watching us go past through the door. I just brushed it off but last night had a nightmare about him.

Then was with DH today getting shopping out of the car and he walked past again (he made eye contact with me but walked past and gave nowhere near as much creepiness as usual) I told DH who went after him but had gone a lot quicker than usual.

AIBU or sensitive to find his behaviour unsettling. I'm seeing this man more and more but before saw him once every 3-4 weeks as it's a big block.

I totally understand this may be his disposition and I don't know what his mental state is but it's still making me uncomfortable. It's the way he stares and seems to watch me when I'm not looking but also that he acted different when DH was there.

I'm scared of him doing this again when I'm alone in the car park as now I'm noticing it and its making me anxious.

That would scare the shit out of me...seriously creepy. Can u get someone to have a word on ur behalf if ur too frightened maybe he has got some mental issue and doesn’t realise. But then again maybe not

Tbh unless he was saying or doing anything then I would just ignore him.

@Tonz I know! my husband was going to say something today but he was gone and I don't want to make things worse and potentially aggravate him.

I feel like I've made such a big deal out of it in my head now that I'm going to jump out of my skin when I see him next.

After reading ur post again I think the fact that he toned down his creepiness when ur husband was there shows he is very aware of what he is doing he must know he’s intimidating u. I’m not easily frightened but this isn’t a one off and I would be worried especially having my child with me.
Hopefully ur husband can catch him next time and see what it’s all about. Gives me the shivers thinking about it and it’s not me it’s happening too

Gosh, so creepy. Must be awful for you.

I'm not surprised you feel intimidated by him, he sounds awful and it defiantly appears he's doing it on purpose since he's different when your DH is there.

Have you met any of the neighbours? If so, maybe you could ask around and try to find out what his story is.

May be worth contacting the police as well, they won't do anything but it may be best to log with them, someone else may have already reported him.

I don’t think police will do anything because a man is staring at the op.

I think the fact that he toned down his creepiness when ur husband was there shows he is very aware of what he is doing.

Not necessarily. It could just mean that he's intimidated by other men, but not by the OP.

I'd be creeped out. But.... Think about it. You're looking back at him. Watching his moves. You must be looking back at him to see the looks on his face and to know where he's going afterwards. It's the sort of thing I'd do if I was suspicious of someone so I'm not criticising you. But unbeknownst to you from his perspective he might think your scowling and staring at him and watching after him. I'd ignore him best you can or do a very very brief fleeting polite smile and carry on with your business. It might be nothing. I'm on high alert for creepy men when I'm with my kids. Maybe you are too? I'd only get your DH to say something if your 100% sure he's deliberately trying to intimidate you

Two options

1. completely ignore him. Pretend you haven’t even noticed him even when he makes it really obvious he is there. It’s possible he enjoys knowing you are creeped out. So don’t let him get that kick. Be consistent. He will bore eventually.

2. either sneakily or very obviously film him doing it every time. Risky as may antagonise him and he could become violent. Or may make him realise you’re going to report him and now have him on film.

I’d try option 1 first btw. Always de escalate where possible.

@IWorkAtTheCheesecakeFactory thank you, good suggestions. I will completely ignore him now and see if this helps.

Was doing it mostly before but did have the odd glance at him so maybe that's been feeding his behaviour. So strange to think someone may be getting a kick out of this!

Oh there’s all kinds of weird in the world.

Creepy as hell, YANBU. The fact that he toned it down when your DP was there defo suggests he knows what he’s doing. Good suggestions above.