Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Have I left potty training too late?

74 replies

Usernamqwerty · 14/12/2019 17:27

DS turned 3 in September. I have two potty training books - Gina Ford which mentioned waiting until they are ready and able to tell you they need a wee. So I have been waiting and DS sometimes tells me he's done a poo, but no mention of impending wees...

I recently got 'Oh Crap!' Potty training book which says we should definitely potty train by 30 months 😩.

Am confused and panicking we have left it too late and it's going to be a nightmare to do now.

Any ideas? 🤔 X

OP posts:

UndertheCedartree · 14/12/2019 21:43

To be honest I never did any training - just waited til they asked to use the toilet and facilitated it. One was 2 and a half and the other was over 3. One used the toilet with an insert and the other prefered a potty. Reminders to use the toilet every hour or so, cleaning up and reassurance when they had accidents and that's it. IMO lots of parents make a right song and dance about it when it's pretty straightforward. Kids want to grow up and be like mum and dad using the toilet - it's not something you have to force - they will do it when they are ready.

Ozgirl75 · 14/12/2019 21:59

To go against the general grain here I do think some children are harder to train if you leave them to after 3 - because you have to retrain them to do something that’s pretty ingrained by that point.

I have a lot of friends who trained at 2 (me included) who trained very easily at that age, and a few who left it later and really struggled.

However, all our children are older now and none of them wear nappies so they all get there and I think it probable depends on the child.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/12/2019 22:00

Of course it's not too late but its perfectly possible to do it earlier. There are pros & cons.

DS was trained just shy of 2.advantages: trained early, way less nappies in landfill etc. Because he was young there was zero resistance or stubbornness. He was very regular so had been pooing on a potty (with support) since 18m so didn't have that habit where they insist on a nappy to poo in.

Disadvantages: at first there were days he couldn't hold a wee long at all. He rarely lasted more than 2 hours before needing to go. We also had a big regression with a lot of damp patches for 3 weeks at 2 and a half when his baby sibling arrived.

I think language is important, they need to be able to communicate.

The only thing about leaving it later is they become attached to habits of pooing a nappy and can be extremely resistant to change.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 14/12/2019 22:01

Ozgirl75 I think you are right. A few friends have really struggled with kids refusing to poo without a nappy on, hard habit to break apparently.

selmabear · 14/12/2019 22:57

Both my boys were 3.5 years. I've known some kids to be older. It's a frustrating milestone. I tried and failed the first round of potty training with both boys the second round it took a week. If he's not getting it OP I would stop for a month or two and then try again. I stayed home (I know not possible for everyone) for 3 days and took away nappies put them pants and trousers and when they wet themselves it was uncomfortable and they'd tell me. After 3 days of washing a drying I started taking them out in pants and trousers and PLENTY of clean clothes. Didn't take them long to start telling me they needed a wee. Not saying it will work for you but that's what I did. Don't stress yourself OP, it's really not worth it. He will get it, I know it feels like he wont, I felt the exact same, but he will.

chaos76 · 19/12/2019 11:07

I read "start a 2 finish at 3 start at three finish at 3"

Also buy cheap nappies as they will feel more uncomfortable and they wont want to stay in them

Mypathtriedtokillme · 19/12/2019 11:36

Best advice I ever got when trying (unsuccessfully) to toilet train was...

Quit and go back to nappies/pull ups. Then try again in 2, 3 or 6 months time.
If it’s a battle quit and try again later.

hsegfiugseskufh · 19/12/2019 11:39

I don't think you have! I posted on here after ds turned 3 panicking about the same thing because he had absolutely 0 interest in it.

It sounds cliché, but honestly DS just did it when he wanted to and sorted himself out pretty quickly. We've gone from 0 interest whatsoever, to being fully potty trained pretty much 0 accidents in less than 6 months.

HulksPurplePanties · 19/12/2019 11:41

My 2 trained themselves at 3 years 4 months. They decided one day that they didn't want diapers and we've never had an accident day or night since (except one time with DD when we couldn't get to a toilet quick enough).

CeeceeBloomingdale · 19/12/2019 11:44

No, I trained my youngest at 3 years, 3 months, when they were ready. They day and night trained at the same time and were dry from day one.

hsegfiugseskufh · 19/12/2019 11:46

anecdotally, most of ds nursery friends who are the same age as him, have only just trained too. There aren't many younger ones who are fully dry at his nursery.

It used to be a big thing to train them as early as possible, but I don't think it is so much now.

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 19/12/2019 11:49

Mine is just turned 3, he's almost ready. I've been trying on and off since he was 2. He started withholding poo and becoming anxious about the potty so I'm leaving it.

Lottieskeeper · 19/12/2019 12:02

I don't think you've left it too late at all.
I read the oh crap book and decided to train my DD just after she turned 2.
I just took the nappies off and went for it.
Unfortunately it hasn't really gone well and at nearly 4 she's still not 100% reliable.
In hindsight I wish I had waited until she was at least 3 and saved myself alot of washing, cleaning up and stress.

yummychoccy · 19/12/2019 12:56

Absolutely not. My son was 3.4 when we trained and it was a piece of cake! No bribes or rewards needed and he was pretty much trained within a few days

TheJoxter · 19/12/2019 12:58

My niece was in nappies til she was almost 4, she just didn’t get it for ages and then one day suddenly it clicked and she was toilet trained in a day!

M3lon · 19/12/2019 13:02

Its way better to wait for them to be ready and interested. That way you have no accidents or bribes. Just start using the toilet and done.

Definitely not too late OP

Cremebrule · 19/12/2019 13:10

They can all be so different. I did my eldest just before 3 and she was unreliable for a while. She just either didn’t care or couldn’t do it. In constraint, one of her little friends was dry day and night before 2 and from about 18m hated being in a wet or dirty nappy and would ask to be trained. My sister was apparently dry at 18m and I was at 3 which would have been late for the time.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 19/12/2019 13:16

Ds2 was only potty trained at 3. I stopped daytime nappies on his third birthday as he was “a big boy now”. He had a couple of accidents at the very beginning (probably excitement, with hindsight I should have left it until a day or two after) but because he was ready it went pretty smoothly after that.

pigsDOfly · 19/12/2019 13:18

Whoever wrote the 'Oh Crap' book got the title right.

There's no should about it. A child is either ready or not and if you start setting early rigid timetables you're just setting both child and parent up for a lot of stress.

Relax about it. Try it from time to time and it'll work when the child gets it.

FabbyChix · 19/12/2019 13:26

Mine was potty trained at his nursery when he was two years three months apparently that was the optimum age they done it to both my kids

Waveysnail · 19/12/2019 13:30

Nope eldest was 3 when we potty trained him (he loved his nappies). Trained within 4 days with hardly any accidents. Night trained around 5.

Waveysnail · 19/12/2019 13:32

Middle son decided no nappies at 2 years (three weeks after I'd had his baby brother). Took a year for him to be reliably dry during the day. I would have happily kept.him in nappies longer but he kept ripping them off

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/12/2019 13:43

I'd just get him started. The not mentioning needing a wee thing is probably because he doesn't notice as modern nappies are so absorbant. He will notice once in pants.

Ozgirl75 · 19/12/2019 19:57

My “sign” that mine were ready was that they would suddenly stop playing, give me a look, run off to somewhere a bit more private to do a poo. I figured this meant that they could feel it coming, hold it and “release” at a moment of their choosing. This came for mine at 2 1/2 but very child will be different.

Flip

1 2 3