Have I left potty training too late?

[Usernamqwerty]

DS turned 3 in September. I have two potty training books - Gina Ford which mentioned waiting until they are ready and able to tell you they need a wee. So I have been waiting and DS sometimes tells me he's done a poo, but no mention of impending wees...

I recently got 'Oh Crap!' Potty training book which says we should definitely potty train by 30 months 😩.

Am confused and panicking we have left it too late and it's going to be a nightmare to do now.

Any ideas? 🤔 X

Thought you were going to say they were 25 then op

Honestly I waited till DS asked for a potty “like at nursery” he was just a month under 3 and he got it within a couple of weeks.

My son was 4 - we were beginning to worry about school! But he just wouldn’t even try - would just soil himself and not tell anyone. Fun times.

I started potty training my son 6 months ago at 2.5 ish and it’s been an actual nightmare, he’s just about dry now (the odd wee accident) but poo is a complete no go and it’s become a bigger thing than it should have. Wait until you are both ready is my advice

I used Oh Crap but not till 32 months, worked great within a couple of days and was dry at night within a week. I was leaving it until I thought she was ready and we had a good clear weekend to stay in the house sans nappy. Seems sensible to wait to me.

Nah, it'll be simple - swap from nappies to pullups, tell him it's time to use the toilet (or a potty if he prefers) during the day and remind him frequently - most kids pull at themselves if they need to go.

Then if you're getting lots of dry nights, tell him you think he's big enough to not need a pullup at night as well.

You might get a few accidents, no big deal, carry spare pants and wipes in your bag and have a mattress protector and quick drying bedding for rapid bed changing.

He's likely to be physically able to recognise the sensations at this age - some children take longer at night (which isn't a big deal, anyhow) but if you're working with his own body development, there's a good chance it will be incredibly easy, especially if he's going to preschool.

Potty training isn't a thing if you wait - most children will train themselves and you just guide them to using the toilet instead.

ExMIL looked after DD1 loads and reckoned she was toilet training DD1 at 9 months. I didn't see the point and kept her in pullups, just leaving a potty available if she wanted it, such as before a bath or if she wanted to copy when she followed me to the toilet. With DD2, I was at home and thought there were far more important things to do than worry about it before she had developed the neural connections to make it possible.

They both became clean and dry day and night at almost exactly the same age. I just had to do significantly less washing than exMIL did. and my carpet didn't smell of wee

My son was the same - never told us about wees, just poos (and not that reliably) - for a variety of reasons, we just went ahead using the Oh Crap method and it worked really well. I wouldn't hold off much longer, I think some kids (especially boys) just don't self initiate. Everyone I know who had a child talk about wees and poos and basically ask to be potty trained had a girl.

Common sense should tell you that you haven’t left it too late; otherwise we would have thousands of adults still wearing nappies because their mums missed the short window of opportunity around the age of 30 months! However, I think you have missed the point regarding Gena Ford. I doubt if any child actually wearing a nappy will tell you they need a pee. Why would they? What she means is physically capable of telling you usually by speech or some other way of letting you know. So you don’t have to wait any longer but you need to try her without nappies to see how get on. If she has a potty handy there is a reasonable chance she will use it.

My son is 3 in January and nowhere near ready. My older son was 3.5 and dry day and night in a week.

My second daughter wasn't ready until nearly 3. Then one day she decided it was the day. 8 was going on a work meeting, she had to go to nursery with 15 changes of clothes! It didn't go well but by day 3 she cracked it. My first dd was a bit younger as I was pregnant. Dry at night before 3. That's not happening with her sister.

My friends daughter didn’t potty train till she was nearly 5...she tried. But ultimately would give in. Finally she just said no more. It worked a treat

My ds was 3y2m. He got it immediately. Our nursery does the training and we follow their program. Within a month he was doing both in the loo with the use of the ladder seat.
If we are out and about he sits on the normal toilet fine too. I think at 3yo they fully understand the concept and more likely ready? Our nursery actually encourages this.

Nobody on MN trains their wains until 3. 3 is the new 2 in 2019.

God help the planet with all those pull ups festering for 200 plus years.

My ds was around 3.8 - his nursery said he was copying the others (he was in pull ups). Put regular pants on, one accident on day 1 when he forgot and that was that. We never really tried earlier as he just flat out refused to use the potty or toilet (and wouldn’t tell us when he wanted to go)

My eldest wasn't potty trained until 3 and a half, that was after a whole year of trying on and off. On the flip side, never had one night accident since the first night out of nappies.

@maddiemookins16mum fear not, we used cloth nappies :o

@RunningAwaywiththeCircus is it a private or local authority nursery?

I'd speak to the HQ about that as I'm pretty sure it's discrimination, particularly if he has a diagnosed disability. Atleast that's what we were told when my son was still refusing the toilet at 3y 8m. It's also never been an issue in any of the nurseries I've worked in.

I tried when dd was two and a couple of months. Failed dismally. Then she took her nappy off one morning having done a big wee in her night time one and a poo in the next after breakfast and announced she no longer needed nappies as “I big”. She was almost 3. No poo accidents. The odd wee if she was engrossed in play. I never needed to carry a potty round.

I have read it is important to do it before school because there becomes a point, when children lose interest in learning to potty train. But that’s older than 3.

How times change.
Mum told me I was "clean" by 14 months, dry by about 18 months.
She had the incentive - living in a tiny rented space with limited washing & drying facilities & only real nappies. She was not filling landfill with my output.
My son was quite a bit later, but certainly clean & dry before 3 years.

Quite a few assumptions that people are using disposable nappies - leading to lower incentive and later potty training... 🙄

DS was trained at 3y 8m. We tried a bit before but he wasn’t ready.

Then when he was, he did it in less than a week. Hardly any accidents and only wet the bed once.

You know when they’re ready. And training too early can lead to later issues.

Toilet training isn't fun.

DC1 started nursery 4 days after his 3rd birthday and as it was a preschool (attached to school) rule was all kids had to be trained.

We had a few false starts and my rule of thumb was if there was more than 5 accidents in a day we stopped (tried again a few weeks later and we had to do this a few times)

DC was daytime dry by his 3rd birthday though and no accidents at all in preschool.

DC2 I cant really remember exact age but I'd say daytime dry by two and a half. I definitely went for toilet over potty with them both.

*DC2 still has a night time pull-up now (almost 5) as she isn't completely night time dry. I think DC1 was a similar age before we ditched the overnight pull-up.

I think you’re overthinking it. I didn’t wait until they could tell me, I just tried it and it either worked or it didn’t. If it didn’t I retried 3 months later until it did.

This is exact what happened to me this time last year. We tried potty training over Christmas with almost 3 year old. It was totally stressful and completely awful. Tried again a few months later. Still nope. Tried at 3.5. Got it in a morning. Poo took a little longer.
I would give it a go. You'll know after a week of it's worth carrying on, or have a break. Honestly I hated potty training but when they're ready they're ready. Good luck!!