There’s SO much to do!

[tired206]

I’ve had a few days off work and have spent it cleaning the ground floor of my house and ordering lots of things to prepare for Christmas. I’ve been buying stuff like new rugs, a doormat and scented candles just to make the house look nicer and more comfortable. I still have so much to do but am 19 weeks pregnant and am feeling so rundown and exhausted. On my list:

• Vacuum and mop all floors (did this two days ago but they’re messy again)
• Clean out fridge and do online food shop
• Book dentist for me and DH (it’s been years since our last appointment)
• Finish buying Christmas presents for family from local shops
• Buy new glassware
• Clean bathroom
• Get a couple of paintings framed and hung
• Look into different types of cat food and order (fussy cat has gone off usual brand)
• Collect new glasses from optician
• Dress house for Christmas - including buying tree and more baubles
• Look at how best to hang new Christmas lights in window
• Generally ensure house stays tidy and clean on a day-to-day basis
• Buy and send Christmas cards to friends who’ve sent them to us - maybe don’t send to those who haven’t!
• Wrap presents for family
• Buy new clothes (hardly any of my old stuff fits me now I’m 19 weeks)
• Clear out airing cupboard on landing which is currently full of old tile samples, paint and lots of other junk
• Do ruthless declutter of other rooms that need it
• Source and bug pretty vintage fruit bowl for kitchen table to store loose fruit
• Hold down day job in the meantime (am back to work on Tuesday afternoon)

AIBU to feel totally overwhelmed by all this? Will my house ever be organised and “done”? It just feels never ending!

Most of those jobs you have listed are things that wouldn't even occur to me.

Don't bother sending Christmas cards. I stopped several years ago now and it is very liberating.

Baubles? Just pick some up when you are next in the supermarket. Source fruit bow?? Is that really a massive project requiring research? Buy in the supermarket, or on Amazon. Ditto for glasswear.

Clearing the airing cupboard won't take long.

Dentist can wait until the New Year.

Few of those jobs are essential.

In the time you’ve been on this thread you could have got several of those done.

just think - next year you'll be able to add clear up baby vomit to the list.

Are you going to remember Christmas 2019 as the Christmas you didn't have a pretty fruit bowl?
PS Your husband is a grown man and responsible for his own teeth.

This OP is blatantly one of those pregnant women who think they are the first woman ever to be pregnant. I pity her colleagues!

Whatever you're doing to mess up the floors in 2 days when it's just you (no mention of DC or pets and DH is apparently at work every waking moment), stop doing it.

Then you won't have to be cleaning the floors all the time. Constantly baffled as to how often Mumsnet thinks floors need doing.

And then

Why does everything now days have to be ‘sourced’.

This OP is blatantly one of those pregnant women who think they are the first woman ever to be pregnant.

Not sure where you got that impression from. I only mentioned it once in my OP!

no mention of DC or pets

As stated in my OP, I have a cat (who’s longhaired and often comes in from the garden with muddy paws!)

Source fruit bow?? Is that really a massive project requiring research?

What can I say - I just want a really lovely one that will be a real statement piece on my kitchen table and I’ll use for years to come!

I think I just want the house to be totally sorted and ready before the baby comes as well. I don’t want to be faffing around getting pictures framed and ordering rugs when I have a newborn to take care of!

Well you can take "buy a vintage fruit bowl" off the list, for one. Just stick it in a Tupperware or normal bowl for the time being.

I'm pretty sure that cleaning the airing cupboard, hanging pictures and making a dentist appointment can also wait.

If you're doing an online food shop you can add christmas cards, stamps and baubles to the order and take 2 other jobs off your list. Or send an e-card. Or just dont bother.

I don’t want to be faffing around getting pictures framed and ordering rugs when I have a newborn to take care of!

You've still got 20 weeks to go, those things dont need to be done right now! If your husbands work calms down in the new year he can help you with those jobs in a few months.

Thing is having a newborn is a bit boring. You’ll spend a long time on a sofa under a sleeping baby so sourcing stuff is a good “keep you sane” project. Keep the fruit bowl for then ( I planned a whole kitchen remodel)

I'm exhausted just reading your list. S-l-o-w down! Most of those things can wait until January, what's another couple of weeks if you haven't been to the dentist in over a year? I'd get the clothes and then share presents, bathroom cleaning and food shop with husband. Do NOT clean the fridge, it can't be that bad. Put up a few decs, a few! Leave the rest.

Oh OP. Your friends aren't wrong about you having to 'lower' (not really lower, more adjust) your standards when the baby comes. You sound genuinely anxious about your list, and utterly unaware of how (tbh) graceless it is to post something like this on here, saying this luxury list makes you feel 'rundown and exhausted', where there are a lot of women with multiple children, with disabilities or dc with disabilities, struggling financially, working multiple jobs etc etc. You very much need some perspective, and you will really need to adjust your priorities when your child arrives - it won't be at all good for him/her to grow up in an environment whose aesthetic and organisational perfection is so important to his/her mother.

And if you're tired, rest, fgs. Your body may be trying to tell you something. You don't have to be (artificially) busy all the time just because your dh is busy.

@CatteStreet “Graceless”? MN is full of all sorts of topics, I’m not sure why I’m not allowed to post about something (Christmas prep in this case!) that’s stressing me out? Plus you know nothing about my financial situation or how hard I work to keep things afloat.

YABU - some of these jobs could have been done another time or left until another time.

OP, yes, I'm afraid so. Or perhaps tone-deaf (of which your use of 'keep things afloat' is another example - has a different ring to it as a lone parent with a disabled dc). Certainly completely lacking in a perspective you'll badly need when the baby comes.

It's true I don't know about your financial situation, but you can clearly afford baubles, new glassware and pretty vintage fruit bowls, so I doubt you're choosing between heating and eating or queueing at the foodbank (ftr, neither am I, but I am aware that some people are).

And I will repeat that if your current schedule is making you this tired, ditch the list and rest. You're pregnant and this may be a health matter,

^^That comma should be a full stop.

But half those jobs have nothing to do with Christmas prep.

You forgot

Overthink things
Waste time on MN
Learn how to use the Internet to shop
Tell your DH to make his own single phone call
Don't use the word "source" again
Be a martyr (after planning in detail how to be a martyr of course )
Replace "look at how best to hang xmas lights in window" with "look at window and hang lights"
Replace "look into different types of cat food" with "just buy some cat food and tell cat not to be a knob"

Seriously though, I mean this kindly, you can't overthink and overstate things like this when you are pregnant/have the baby because all you will do is stress yourself out - completely needlessly. There is no need for this.

Set aside an hour (for eg the time you have used to post about having to do this!) to do your shopping online (not sourcing, and that's about 6/7 things off your list already. Done in an hour!

Stop spending your time putting day to day like stay on top of the house, on a to do list and just do it (and get your DH to do his share too).

Chill the fuck out!

Actually that sounded a little harsher than I actually meant it to be I should have used more smileys

I am a list person myself. At the risk of encouraging you to spend more time planning instead of doing why don't you download a list app which has high/medium/low priority categories and put them into it.

Then start with the high priority and work your way down (but don't put routine stuff on it or it'll get ridiculous; just do that!) It's satisfying to tick them off, and prioritising it means you will realise that sourcing a fruit bowl isn't a hugely stressful, essential and daunting task.

PS Don't ever post in AIBU again if you're already stressed

Spare a thought for me, single mum and moving house 3 days before xmas 😬😬😬😬 and i am nowhere near packed 😂