Please help me see reason and save my weekend

[motmormal]

So full disclosure I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I've started my first grad job which has exacerbated all the symptoms I've been experiencing for years. I feel really out of my depth - not used to being the only woman on a team.

Earlier today I was on a team skype call and fluffed my opening line (basically I was just saying hello but had a very sharp cramping pain due to being on my period and could barely get a word out). I keep replaying this over and over in my mind. Very important people heard me being incapable.

I know what I would tell my sister if she was obsessing like this but i am currently extremely self-critical and catastrophise everything. I'm worried I'm going to feel shit and beat myself up over this one little thing all weekend.

I did something similar when starting a new role at my last company. Had to stand up and introduce myself to my new colleagues - mainly senior management in that particular meeting, most of whom I didn't know.

I accidentally said "Hi, I'm Donutman, I'm the new ". I immediately realised my mistake but in my panic couldn't remember my new job title and had a few very redfaced seconds. 😂

I'm going to be honest and disagree with what people have said about others not remembering it. They may not think about it much after the meeting but I'm sure they remembered me as 'that guy that fluffed it in the meeting'. However, if it becomes one glitch amongst many other adequate interactions it will then be forgotten.

I find that if I'm nervous about speaking, I try and find some way to contribute at an earlier point, ask a question or something. I find it helps to ease me into speaking and kind of stealth introduces me.

Another option is propanolol. It just suppresses the adrenaline rush and stops the sweat palms, flushed cheeks etc. I've used it in my first presentations in a few jobs and then found I didn't need it after I'd settled in.

Absolutely, yes. Give it 3-4 episodes--it gets better as it gets into a swing. I mean, the first is good, but it gets better. One of my very favorite tv shows of the past couple years.

I've only just been to see the GP who prescribed sertraline and recommended CBT, will organise it asap.

I was a few mins late calling into the meeting, the presenter had already started and said "hi to the person who just joined". I wasn't sure if to interrupt the speaker's flow say hi and introduce myself (as 98% of the people didn't know me) or just say hello everyone.

I was sort of deliberating in my mind and I just ended up saying Hi in a stupid high pitched tone and began to speak gibberish before cutting myself off with the mute function.

I had a really productive day and chose to hang around late in the day to attend this meeting even though most of colleagues had left for the weekend. Just regret bothering now, would've probably felt good if I had just gone home.

^extremely poorly written

If it helps, I don't think you'll find a single person who hasn't obsessed over something they said at some point and wished they could take it back.

As everyone has said they probably won't have even realised. If they did, the most they will think is of that time that they fluffed something, not about you. People just don't think about your mistakes the way you do.

I see your update. Sounds a perfectly reasonable response. No need to worry. They might just think you are higher pitched than you are