To wonder just how well girls with ASD can mask?

[Tiredmum1511]

I'm struggling to get my head around likely ASD 5 year old DD being so one way with us and so different at school.

Can reception aged children really mask this well? Apparently she's completely normal at school

I made it to age 53 relatively under the radar (well, I thought I did, but many others suspected)
Partner made it to 52 before diagnosed
DD made it to 12
DS made it to about 8

Part of me thinks if she can cope with these things at school then I need to become more forceful in making her cope with them at home too (which seems to be the school's stance).

Please don't. That way lies mental health issues.

She's doing her best to comply at school. To fit in and not stand out (thereby avoiding unwanted attention). If she has to do that at home, it'll remove the place she feels safe and able to be herself.

When I was younger they didn't diagnose girls, so I've always flown under the radar. I'm even in the closet, so to speak, with non-family, because I can pretend to be neurotypical most of the time. But I nearly died in my teens because I was masking so much and neither my parents nor school were supportive.