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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find this mildly irritating (another MIL one!)

42 replies

3littlemincemeatpies · 13/12/2019 15:41

We live quite far away from family and for the first time ever it will just be DH and I and 3 DD’s this Christmas, so excited to not have to entertain or be driving the length of county visiting everyone and just enjoying being in our little bubble.

I love all things Christmas and do try to fit everything in, Elf’s, festive cinema trips, wreath making workshops etc, movie night etc. I’m also a SAHM so have no problem of doing the majority of shopping, planning wrapping, set me up with a baileys and A Wonderful life and I’m in my happy place 😂

It is however a busy time and not living close to the girls grandparents means 0 rest bite, adult time or peace and quiet.

MIL has been sending me little messages every day this week saying to expect another parcel for DC, DH etc and always with a “sorry you will have to wrap haha” on top of that also instructions to collect bigger presents click and collect, from various shops then storing and wrapping as well.

Mildly irritating that is only me that gets the texts but still understandable, postage is expensive and makes sense to send it direct for the sake of of being delivered unwrapped and I also know the girls are lucky to have GP’s that send them such nice things however...

What has really gripped my shit is that she has just text me to say that my presents will be arriving wrapped and ready to go straight under the tree aka so DH doesn’t need to worry...

DH is very hands on. He’s is also on leave from Wednesday onwards for 3 weeks and more they capable of wrapping some bastarding presents...

AIBU to tell her next time she texts with another little “job” or “errand” to tell her I’m on bloody strike...?

OP posts:

Brunts12 · 13/12/2019 17:53

I think YABU, it’s lovely to have GP (especially in laws) who actually care about you and your family. Maybe she just orders presents from websites which don’t offer gift wrapping? Personally, it wouldn’t bother me to wrap a few more gifts.

Josette77 · 13/12/2019 17:55

She sounds like lovely mother in law to me. This wouldn't bother me.

Cordial11 · 13/12/2019 17:55

YABU

I always see posts on here re MIL and think people would likely treat it very different if it was their own mum.

Is she old school? So thinks as you are a SAHM you pick up these jobs?

I would expect MIL to text me tbh OH would be useless as this stuff.

Winterdaysarehere · 13/12/2019 18:08

My mil has never bought a single gift for her only dgc.
Forward her messages unread to dh...
And be a bit more appreciative imo.

EKGEMS · 14/12/2019 01:08

Beetle Yeah she's so "ungrateful" having to go and collect presents and wrap them because MIL couldn't be bothered to do the hard part of gifting at the holidays! Just wow

katy1213 · 14/12/2019 01:14

I want a rest bite. Does it have chocolate on it?

Blondebakingmumma · 14/12/2019 04:40

Dear MIL can you please pop to .... shop to collect your and FIL’s Christmas present. Don’t forget to use lovely wrapping paper before you pop them under your tree xx

BlueJava · 14/12/2019 07:40

Mildly annoying but she's from another era. I'd let it go and just ask DH yourself if you are getting overwhelmed with jobs. She is at least remembering everyone. By the way, i choose, buy and wrap all presents for DP, two DS and me from my parents as they are v old.

TartanMarbled · 14/12/2019 08:57

It's because you don't work, not because you're a woman. She sounds really thoughtful and kind to me.

cheeseandpineapple · 14/12/2019 09:13

Maybe her way of showing you her appreciation is to personally wrap your gifts and make sure they are done properly and look nice. She might not think her son would do a decent enough job of it but knows that you do. It sounds like you’ve got a great relationship with her and she values you. I’d let her know that your dh is home from Wednesday and you’ll be able to split the collecting and wrapping for the children’s gifts with him and just leave it at that.

Countryescape · 14/12/2019 10:14

She’s basically just a lazy git! I’d be having none of it!

OrangeSlices998 · 14/12/2019 10:18

Make a group chat for you, her and DH so she can let you both know what’s being sent when so you can both pick up and wrap what’s being sent.

DontTouchTheMoustache · 14/12/2019 10:22

It is annoying but even the gifts you are picking up before DH is on leave could just be chucked in a cupboard for him to wrap when he is free seeing as they are from his side of the family

TheReef · 14/12/2019 10:24

What does she do with your present?

Timeless19 · 14/12/2019 10:24

She’s putting time an effort into choosing gifts for your family so they get to open them on Christmas Day. I couldn’t get too upset by that.

My mil notified me in November that she was too ill to buy us presents this year and could I do it. Coincidentally this is the third year in a row this mysterious illness has taken hold and she’s been unable to do it!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 14/12/2019 10:28

Cant get past rest bite

Knucklehead101 · 14/12/2019 10:37

The way I read it, she’s just trying to do something nice for you all for Christmas. My dad usually does the same (sends presents unwrapped) because he doesn’t live close and not all shops have a gift wrapping service). It doesn’t bother me in the slightest and I’m a full time working mum of 3. I can see it might be more annoying in your situation because this is your MIL but I’m sure she means well. I hope you all have a lovely Christmas! X

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