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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

FiL not washing hands

40 replies

Mamibaer · 13/12/2019 10:45

My PiL are visiting from another country and were spending the day at our place with us and our 11 month old. FiL mentioned a few times he wasn't feeling great. Late in the evening, after baby was in bed, he ran to the loo and threw up everywhere (it was pretty nasty, he missed the loo completely). I went in to baby's room as this woke him up. When I came out, OH and MiL were cleaning the bathroom and FiL sitting on the sofa. I asked how he was and he mentioned he'd had diaorrea a few times that afternoon too. Then MiL comes out and asks what else she needs to clean in case of infection - "did you touch the soap today?". He replied no, he'd just used water. AIBU to think that's out of order - he had been touching the baby, reading him a story in his room, playing with him, after having an upset stomach and not washing his hands properly? I'm pretty angry about it. Didn't say anything that night as he was unwell and he's been at the hotel since, but next time he's over I want OH to say something. Surely he should be observing basic hygiene around a baby (and anyone!)

OP posts:
easyandy101 · 13/12/2019 12:31

Most soap isn't anti bacterial

goldfinchfan · 13/12/2019 12:33

The other country bit might be relevant if Pil traveled on a plane.

If baby does get ill mention this to the doctor.

Instagrump · 13/12/2019 12:43

@DamnitCharlie yes the in-laws are often ill. SIL in particular has constant diahorrea. So much that sometimes on a long trip she'll have to pull over to run up a country lane, go behind a bush or squat just behind the car door to do a shit. She puts it down to any excuse she can. Virus going round, bad chicken or more often she'll say IBS (never been diagnosed). The truth is she is just a manky sod. She'll eat a bag of crisps and let her dog lick her fingers clean and then carry on eating. She lets it "kiss" the inside of her mouth too. 🤢. When I wouldn't let her put her filthy
Dog slobber hand in my packet of crisps to try one she called me snobby and informed me that dogs mouths were, in fact, sterile. Hmm

ginghamtablecloths · 13/12/2019 12:48

The difficulty is that whatever you say and however you put it he may not listen anyway. Sadly, my late MIL became a grubby old woman but due to her dementia couldn't seen the connection between cleanliness and good health.

She suffered diarrhoea several times and couldn't understand why. It's a difficult situation for all concerned and I hope you manage to sort it. Could you perhaps mention that the condition could be contagious and it may be a good idea not to get too close to baby just in case?

Cocobean30 · 13/12/2019 13:21

Disgusting man. You kept very calm OP

Loopydizzylove · 13/12/2019 16:39

I actually don't like touching other people's bars of soap.... The thought of the bacteria on them makes me squirm. The liquid soap despensers are all I will use

bobstersmum · 13/12/2019 17:15

Dirty bugger.

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 13/12/2019 21:55

@Instagrump that's gross 🤮 I'm pretty relaxed with hand hygiene compared to some but that made me feel sick!

Instagrump · 13/12/2019 21:58

@Loopydizzylove that's a very valid point. I watched something on tv that tested bars of soap and they were disgusting. Teaming with bacteria. We don't have bars in my house for that reason. Just bottles of anti-bacterial hand wash gel and I wash the pump regularly.

Instagrump · 13/12/2019 22:00

@Namechangerextraordinaire1 it's really nasty. We go stay over for a couple of days a few times a year and I always kindly offer to cook "to show our appreciation for having us to stay"
Yeah. That's why. Honest.

SnugStars · 13/12/2019 22:03

I’d be really pissed off that he didn’t bugger off back to the hotel as soon as he realised he was unwell with D&V! Surely he doesn’t want to make his Grandchild ill, or anyone else for that matter.

anon2000000000 · 13/12/2019 22:18

Grim.

lynzpynz · 13/12/2019 22:22

I'd be dumbfounded at his lack of use of soap as well OP, especially important after having D&V as unwashed hands are how these bugs spread! Hospitals have hand sanitisers on wards for a reason - to prevent the spread of infection. Natural bioflora and gut diversity is completely different to viruses and harmful bacteria from faeces. Handwashing with soap and hot water are the basics of hygiene. Really hope he hasn't passed anything on to you or your little one OP Flowers

FairyOnTheTree · 13/12/2019 22:29

I would be livid. Really hope you all manage to avoid it OP.

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