AIBU about Christmas party babysitting

[Ohwhocares22]

I'm about to go on mat leave so my works Christmas party is also my leaving party. DH Christmas party the same night. I asked my parents to stay with 5yo ds once he is in bed so we can both go out. They have a prior commitment or would willingly do it. Dh refuses to ask his parents because he doesnt want to put on them (they are very very wierd about going out especially at night and would see it as a big inconvenience). He first said he wouldn't go then asked me to ask another family member. They would do it but lots of reasons why it's not easy for them so I've said no. Dont see why it's ok for my family to be put out but not his. If he wants to go, he can ask his parents. I think he is b u not to ask his parents, he thinks I abu. What do you think?

Couldn't he go for a sleepover with DP's parents? At 5, he's more than old enough for that.

He’s the one who’ll be staying at home if he doesn’t find a babysitter, so he needs to find one.

A sleepover would be putting them out too 🙄.
Ileana I agree and wouldn't be bothered if he wasnt now being off with me

Well if he wont ask his parents, he cant go to his Christmas party 🤷‍♀️

Is he using it as an excuse not to go without having to say that he doesn’t want to go?

I would remember and follow their rules. No visiting relatives /being out after dark /doing favours etc.
Especially over Xmas.
Fuck them op.
Your dh is a wimp and make sure it's him who stays home.. .

Glad you all think I'm not bu - I'm being made out to be very unreasonable so perspective is appreciated.

I think he actually really wants to go and knows it's not right that he cant ask his parents so is frustrated and taking it out on me

A different (non-family) babysitter? Try asking friends with student/teenage kids. There are also apps.

Yeah. Don't get too reliant on family. Try to establish a regular babysitter. Friends? Neighbours? Local adverts? Nurseries? Plenty of deserving would-be babysitters looking for regular work

He is being very unreasonable. Why is it ok to ask your family but not his? If he’s unwilling to ask his parents, then he needs to stay at home.

This is a bit like ours. My mum will begrudgingly babysit (tbh I don't care that she doesn't want to, they're her grandkids and she can bloody make up for her half arsed parenting of DSis and I) but DH won't even ask his.

I do though. Okay it's for stuff we really can't get out of and isn't just a night out kinda thing like doing the kids Christmas shopping or DH being best man at his friends wedding but we do enough for them that we're not asking a lot in return.

In your case I'd tell your DH that he gets his parents to babysit or he stays in with the kids himself.

Babysitters.com

Just pay someone

So what other alternatives has he come up with? Just leave it with him, it’s your leaving do.

Why is he annoyed with you because he won't ask his parents? Just ask around you know any teenage girls mad for few quid this time of year? Be good to have a non family back up. 5yr olds easy to mind that time of night.

Did your son go to a nursery or preschool?
A lot of staff from DDS nursery and preschool also used to baby sit
It wasn’t cheap but DD knew the staff and we would book them on special occasions when grand parents weren’t available

I think he thinks as you are not drinking he trumps

But anyway he is BU

Why don’t you just pay a proper babysitter?

I've just got back from my work Xmas party, also pregnant and with DH party on the same night. My mum (who usually babysits) couldn't come over tonight.
Me and DH reached an agreement that he would leave his party at 5pm, pick our toddler up from nursery and take her home. Our two best friends (a couple) who live locally came over from 6pm to do bedtime routine. She's down and asleep by 7.30pm latest so a very easy task for them.
DH headed back out to his party (about 20min taxi ride away) and will be there til the wee hours. I stayed at my party til 9.30pm, got back to relieve babysitter at 10.30pm.
So overall our daughter only had an hour without mum or dad and the babysitters on really had to sit there from 7ish til 10.30pm. Could you and DH work something similar? If you're pregnant you'll be back earlier than him but perhaps he could head home for an hour and get DS settled with a babysitter?

Just pay a babysitter

He’s obviously not comfortable with asking his parents and it’s unreasonable of you to try and force him.

I agree with asking around about babysitters, you’re bound to find someone relatively easily

He's perfectly capable of finding a babysitter, too, you know. Guess he stays home then. YANBU

He's not comfortable asking his parents that's fine.You're not comfortable asking your family member that's fine. The Christmas party is your leaving party so there's no way you can stay home. So either DH stays home or finds an alternative babysitter.

Is there a reason you can't get a babysitter?