My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To think telling people to “unfriend” you on social media because of the way you’re voting is immature?

210 replies

Retpark101 · 12/12/2019 12:53

This is kind of another election one, but I don’t want to thread to be hijacked into discussing politics, in fact I actually just want people to respect that everyone has their own minds and opinions, they have a right to vote for whoever they want to.

There’s so many political posts on Facebook right now but I’ve seen a couple of people on my friends list post things like “if you’re voting Conservative/Labour/etc tomorrow, please unfriend me” or “delete my number and don’t speak to me again”
AIBU to think this is bloody childish and if you’re a mature adult you accept that people are all different and have the right to their own thoughts? I hate how this election is making people gate each other.

Unless somebody has extreme views then is it really worth breaking friendships for the sake of someone voting the opposite of you?

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

611 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
18%
You are NOT being unreasonable
82%
LittleSweet · 12/12/2019 15:27

I don't think that you can leave racism out of it. My relative regularly posted Britain First, Tommy Robinson quotes and Islamophobic memes. Members of my family liked his posts.He politicized it. How am I meant to ignore it? I'm ashamed that I did ignore it, until I couldn't anymore.

Report
AnnieGlypta · 12/12/2019 15:40

YANBU

Totally ridiculous.

Report
NameChangeNugget · 12/12/2019 15:41

I find the radical communist posts hilarious.

Way to funny to unfriend people that call themselves comrades

Report
MinTheMinx · 12/12/2019 15:53

There are so many reasons to step away from Facebook, with this kind of thing being just one of them. If you have to have it, there's always the option to choose 'friends' more wisely (maybe by limiting your list to actual friends?)...

Report
EleanorShellstrop100 · 12/12/2019 15:54

is it really worth breaking friendships for the sake of someone voting the opposite of you?

Yes. If they’re voting Conservative it shows me that they’re either idiotic or totally lacking in compassion and empathy. Either way I don’t want them in my life. I’d also find it really f*cking hard to forgive someone if Boris Johnson remains prime minister and they contributed to that.

Report
MoobaaMoobaa · 12/12/2019 16:02

it's a fine line.

I have an old friend from where I use to live, we were good friends and she's lovely we have a lot in common. But last election we got into a debate on FB because she was posting loads of political bull, and on one post I answered with the correct facts ect.... she got upset and took it personally.

So this time I've not engaged with her political posts, but the posts do annoy me(I don't post my politics) I just try to remember who she really is. she probably does hate me again as she shared a nasty fake news story I just couldn't not point out. I think she finally saw it for the fake news it was, but didn't seem to take it well.

Report
Wineiscooling · 12/12/2019 16:10

*I'm fascinated, how?! I can't imagine being married to someone whose fundamental ethics and beliefs differed so widely. I'd be more prepared to compromise on belief in God, than I would on things like belief in the possibility of equality. How could you raise children with someone with fundamentally different beliefs about society?

Taketothesky We also disagree on religion too! Hmm
To be honest we share some values and probably started our marriage in the middle where politics is concerned but I have moved to the left and he to the right. We have some very heated debates and we do agree on some points but there are some points we have to agree to disagree. It makes it interesting in our house but I can still see him for the same kind, loving person I married despite his somewhat differing views to me. Therefore I can easily raise children with him. I want my children to listen to our debates and form their own opinions not become brainwashed by either of us. Thankfully they are leaning to the left so far! However if they lean to the right, that's their opinion and I don't think it makes them or anyone else a bad person

Report
dottypotter · 12/12/2019 16:12

They used to say never talk about religion or politics!!!!

Nobody has asked me in my real life what i voted.

Report
Milicentbystander72 · 12/12/2019 16:15

Wineiscooling my grandparents were Labour and Tory all their long lives. They never discussed politics and never had heated arguments about it (although they did over other things). They very much respected each other's views.

They had a long, very happy marriage and raised strong and happy children.

I think tolerance of differing views is something we should all learn (racism and extremism aside as others have said)

Report
Spacebowlisback · 12/12/2019 16:32

Those of you talking about how if it were someone overtly racist it would be different... have you met our Prime minister?

Report
Mlou32 · 12/12/2019 16:34

Sounds like an extremely intolerant attention seeker and I would not want to be friends for that reason alone, never mind what way they're voting.

Report
thepeopleversuswork · 12/12/2019 16:46

I find this profoundly depressing. I'm a lifelong Labour voter and I thoroughly object to most of the Tory government's manifesto proposals and loathe Boris.

But I find this idea that you can judge someone's morals or core beliefs based on how they vote really worrying. The classic refrain that comes up from some sections of Labour is: "if you care about the poor/vulnerable/NHS and want to vanquish austerity and stop Brexit you have to vote Labour". Clearly I think that's the most logical approach, or I wouldn't be voting for them.

But I find the idea that anyone who demurs from this view is morally suspect to be thoroughly dogmatic and authoritarian. Plenty of Conservatives believe in the NHS/welfare state and have generally liberal values. It actually sickens me that I could be blacklisted by people for not having the "correct" approach.

Report
Namenamenameshame · 12/12/2019 16:51

It happens every election. Now I have only a few Facebook friends left because I unfriend everyone who posts this crap- even if they're voting the same as me!

Report
yellowallpaper · 12/12/2019 16:58

Most of my Facebook friends are voting labour or SNP and insist on putting articles about them on fb. I am pretty uninterested in politics most of the time and am sick to death of Brexit. I just ignore everything political although I have considered snoozing people until it's all over, but I've never had threats posted. I have nice friends 😀

Report
CottonSock · 12/12/2019 17:01

I'd probably unfriend someone with a post like that as it's so horrible.

Report
detachablehoof · 12/12/2019 17:03

Yeah, social media is immature full stop though.

Report
akerman · 12/12/2019 17:05

To me this election feels different because the Tories have moved so far to the right. Their leader has jeered at 'bumboys'; has likened Muslim women to bank robbers and said they look like letter boxes; he's talked about 'watermelon smiles'; only a few days ago he said he wanted to make sure that EU nationals could no longer turn this country into their home. It was bad enough that Theresa May brought into the 'Go home' vans and enabled the deportation of Windrush victims. We are being led by racist extremists and I find it really difficult to 'unknow' it, if one of my friends supports this regime. And, as the mother of children with special needs, it horrifies me that anybody could vote for a party whose intention is to slash special needs funding for children to zero. This isn't just theoretical posturing. Supporting these people means real-life, terrible suffering for those least able to endure it. I haven't unfriended yet - but my god I'm being pushed closer to it. I don't see it as 'blacklisting' - just that it means I see something in someone that makes me not really want to hang out with them. Maybe unfriending is too final - maybe keeping my distance for a long, long time might be better.

Report
MistyCloud · 12/12/2019 17:14

@SunshineAngel

For me, it's not how they're voting, it's more their attitude towards people with other opinions.

I have unfriended some people (admittedly not close friends, people I was indifferent about anyway really) because politics and voting time can turn people into complete argumentative monsters. Not to mention that people are so convinced THEY'RE right, and argue the toss when there's so many flaws in their arguments that they refuse to research.

I don't think there is a right answer to this election. I think there are major flaws with both of the main parties. All we can do is educate ourselves and make the best decision we can, and anyone who tries to influence the way we use our informed vote can fuck off.

100% THIS. ^

@SilverySurfer

I think part of the problem is how a lot of younger people define friendship these days. I've seen posts where they comment on how many hundreds of friends they have on facebook, for example. To me it's ludicrous and 99.99% of these people would at best be described as acquaintances.

I've known my best friend for over fifty years and during all that time she has been a staunch Labour voter and me a Conservative voter. We soon came to an agreement that we would agree to disagree. I can't get my head around why anyone would vote Labour and I'm sure she feels the same in reverse but the idea of breaking up our friendship over it is inconceivable.

I feel sorry for those breaking up 'friendships' over politics because they obviously have no idea what a real friendship is.

Exactly. These are not real friends with these people at all. And the attention-seeking 'unfriend me if you vote for Tories or The Brexit party' posts make me laugh. For a start, they must KNOW the people who are Tory/Brexit party supporters, and secondly, they would probably have a fit of hysterical crying if their 'friends list' suddenly dropped from 250 to 173 or something.

I am sure some far-left will say 'yeah but that won't happen because all MY friends think like me!!!' Well why say 'unfriend me if you support the Tories or The Brexit Party' then?! Wink

Attention seeking and virtue signalling at its finest. Wink

Report
MistyCloud · 12/12/2019 17:14

@EleanorShellstrop100

Yes. If they’re voting Conservative it shows me that they’re either idiotic or totally lacking in compassion and empathy. Either way I don’t want them in my life. I’d also find it really fcking hard to forgive someone if Boris Johnson remains prime minister and they contributed to that.*

See all you're doing here, is proving people right about the ranty far left. Frothing about how horrible and intolerant and bigoted Tory/Brexit supporters are, and then coming out with shit like this. Your comments show a lack of common sense, a lack of critical thinking, and a lack of tolerance. Yet you slate people who are right of centre. Unbelievable. And the very epitome of a vitriolic, far-left frother.

Also makes me laugh when someone challenges the far-left views of the far-left frothers, and claim Tories hate the homeless and the poor, by saying 'why don't you offer a room to a homeless person?' When asked this, the far-left frothers pipe up with 'why SHOULD we? Labour are gonna make sure there aren't any more homeless.' PMSL. 😂

How they move the goalposts and change the rules to suit their own agenda is just hilarious.

Report
thepeopleversuswork · 12/12/2019 17:16

MistyCloud
hear hear. Its arguments like this which are putting people off voting Labour tbh and I'm heartily sick of it

Report
CanIHaveADrink · 12/12/2019 17:21

@mistycloud

But the PM IS being xenophobic, a lair etc... it has been shown again and again.
If you are voting for someone, anyone, surely you are also accepting and approving the parts you like and the parts that are less likeable (like the xenophobia)
The issue I have is that you just CANNOT vote for just part of a program. You are voting for all of it and condoning the parts that are not as good.

If I read let’s say @EleanorShellstrop100 post, what I see is a shortcut. If you are voting conservative, you are also giving your approval to laws/proposals/ideas that are xenophobic/lacking compassion/etc... This is because the party leader has shown his lack of compassion (see the story of the little boy lying on the hospital floor and BJ refusing to lo9 at the photo).
The same is true the other way around and you have done exactly the same btw. (See all the comments about the rants far left, putting everyone in the same bag and forgetting there is no far left in the U.K...)

Report
CanIHaveADrink · 12/12/2019 17:25

All we can do is educate ourselves and make the best decision we can, and anyone who tries to influence the way we use our informed vote can fuck off.

Why should people stop from trying to defend their POV or trying to influence you? I mean that’s what politicians do. That’s what all the adverts in SM do. That’s what people who are canvassing do. So is it ok for all that to happen but not for a real person to do so in RL??
It’s like people are worried to be shown their logic has some flaws so they prefer not to hear about it....

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

OneForMeToo · 12/12/2019 17:35

I’ve only had four people on my Facebook do the whole vote this way crap.

One a Tory voter posted “yay just voted! (Picture of Boris lets get Brexit done)” age 44. Second person, daily posts for the last 20 days vote labour/tories are arseholes/Jc for the many type posts aged 50-60. Third person sharing only today and yesterday various posts on labour being the best and voting any other way makes you scum, age 40-50. Forth same as the third they seem to share the exact same posts, age 20’s.

I’m considering unfriending the labour supporters as it’s just so tiring to read how anyone who doesn’t agree with them is scum. The majority of my friends however have just posted a simple “voted, make sure you vote!”

Report
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 12/12/2019 17:45

I end up muting lots of Tory voting friends every election. On and on and on they go , seems to be the same people who are demanding a no deal brexit

Report
MsMellivora · 12/12/2019 17:48

I was a political activist when young. At that point I hung about with power who agreed with each other. Lots of navel gazing and honestly mixing with people with opposing views is one way to become more of a well rounded human. Even if you keep your views 100% it’s very narrow minded to cut off people.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.