Primary schoolers - money problems

[Noideawhatusername]

DD has a good friend A (all children are in year 6). A’s mum called to let me know my DD gave A £20 for Christmas and that they should be returning it as it was too generous and that I didn’t know about it.

I questioned my DD about it after the call and it transpired that A made her do it. My DD accidentally ripped A’s coat while they were playing at school and the £20 was a compensation. DD also said that A has asked another good friend B to pay her £40. A has also given £50 to a boy C (A has a crush on this boy) and £5 to boys D & E each.

A’s mum has no idea about any of these. I am concerned with the whole situation and feel I should say something to A’s mum (so she can keep an eye on A). BUT my DD is begging me not to say anything because otherwise everybody will turn against her (especially A).

What should I do? My husband thinks I should stay out of it. I want to say something but don’t want DD to suffer as a result.

The school needs to know. The other parents need to know.

Of course you should say something. That’s weird.

Also, where is a child getting £50 from? Or even £20 for that matter?

Mention it to the school if it is happening on school grounds

I would start by telling the school. Make sure you explain that your dd is worried about consequences if A knows she “told^.

The school definitely need to know! This sounds like blackmail/coercion and needs to be dealt with swiftly. I'm also wondering where the kids are finding such large amounts of money?

I'm not one of these people that goes around shouting "you need to tell the school" (God knows they have enough to deal with).

In this case though, the school should know that comparatively large amounts of money (which a lot of children won't/shouldn't have legitimate access to) is changing hands.

Definitely speak to the teacher and make sure they realise it's in confidence. We had similar and did that and the teacher was very discreet and the boy behind it was found out as if it had nothing to do with us.

Thank you. DD got some money for her birthday recently.

What are primary children doing with access to this sort of cash???

The school need to know, kids going in with that amount of money in the first place is odd.. the only time we had sums of money on us was book day and school trips, I know some would have dinner money but not £20/40/50. And if it is a months dinner money to get paid in surely the school would notice that dd/b whoever else weren’t getting lunches or eating? Well hopefully someone would pick up on it.

Friends don’t con friends.

A has a nice little extortion racket going! Call the school

A's mum was decent enough to contact you, not worried about the children's squabbles so why not return the favour and contact A's mum and update her with this information?

Of course you should say something, don't listen to your DH, he clearly has no idea about the seriousness of the situation

By staying out of it, you're risking this escalating.
Tell the school in confidence.