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To ask what the parental situation is if you go alone and have a child through medical intervention

9 replies

worried123454321 · 12/12/2019 12:16

I appreciate this is such a niche question no one might know. Posting in AIBU for traffic as legal doesn't get so much and I'm hoping someone will see this who can answer.

I've nc'd as it's ever so personal.

I've made the decision to go it alone through ivf and a doner, as I feel it's the right thing to do in my situation and life circumstances.

What I'm concerned/confused about is because I'm currently separated from STBXH (he's been dragging the divorce out for years and being difficult at every opportunity because the finances are complicated), I don't know how he would come into it if I had a child - whether he would have rights, automatically be the father and so on.

I know this is a bit unusual and no one might know, but if you or someone you're close to have made the same decision as me to have a child alone, do you know what the parental situation is legally? I've already asked my divorce solicitor and he didn't have any idea.

OP posts:

Loopytiles · 12/12/2019 12:21

Not a lawyer! But he wouldn’t be the biological father and wouldn’t have lived with your DC, so he wouldn’t have any responsibilities/rights with respect to your DC.


livingthegoodlife · 12/12/2019 12:23

My understanding is a legally married husband is automatically the legal father of any child his wife has.

But in reality, he isn't going to seek PR is he? And your not going to seek maintenance from him? Not sure if it matters. Can you fertility clinic help?


churchandstate · 12/12/2019 12:24

I think he would automatically have PR and you would have to go to court to remove it. Confused


blackcat86 · 12/12/2019 12:24

No he wouldn't have rights as he wouldn't be the biological father (which you could confirm through DNA if needed) and he wouldn't be on the birth certificate


suitcaseofdreams · 12/12/2019 12:25

Nope, he would have no legal rights (and equally no obligations either - ie you could not claim child maintenance)

Contact either Natalie Gamble or Louisa Ghevaert who are solicitors specialising in fertility law if you would like a qualified opinion from an appropriate lawyer :-)


Musereader · 12/12/2019 12:25

As far as i know men are legally the fathers if he is married to you at the time of the birth or if he is on the birth certificate.

If you are divorced by the birth then he has no legal claim, but if you are not married and does not go with you to the registry office to put himself on he does not get any legal rights. A man may apply to be put on the birth certificate and the mother would get a chance to say if she thinks he is the father or not, then it is up to a judge. And since you would have the paperwork to prove ivf he can't claim to be the father.


SympatheticSwan · 12/12/2019 12:26

There's an implication from the perspective of the child being entitled to British citizenship perspective if it matters to you (i.e. if one of you is not a British national).


steff13 · 12/12/2019 12:27

My understanding is a legally married husband is automatically the legal father of any child his wife has.

That's how it is here, though I'm in the US. The husband is presumed to be the father of any child born during the marriage, and you'd have to go to court to have his rights removed.

I think you need to consult an attorney to find out what the situation is there for sure.


MyNewBearTotoro · 12/12/2019 12:28

I believe that a married man can automatically be put on the birth certificate receive PR for any children his wife conceived as the assumption is they are his biological children, but that this can then be contested. For example if the wife has an affair and a DNA test shows the child to not be the husbands then PR can be given to the biological father.

You would easily be able to prove that the child is not biologically his and you would presumably not be putting him on the birth certificate so I can’t see it being an issue, but if you really want to be sure I would try and divorce him before you would be due to give birth.

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