AIBU to want a child free half day a week?

[scaredyscared1114]

I currently work 2 days a week, my DH works 4 days a week. My DS is almost 2 - he stays with his grandma all day on a Monday and then goes to Nursery all day on a Tuesday (both 8-5ish) on a Thursday we pay for a childminder to have him 11am-4pm.

I suffered from bad PND, and I've never quite felt like a natural mother. I find parenting incredibly stressful (as I'm sure is the norm.) we decided to trial the Thursday childminder hours as my mental health has been at an all time low recently. Since I've had those 5 hours every Thursday to myself I've felt so much better - plus I can get all the cleaning and housework done in that time.

I just feel incredibly guilty about it. I still get all day Wednesday and Thursday with my little boy, and I make sure he gets a lot of my time and attention. He is going through a particularly clingy phase, and always cries when I leave him with anyone now. On Tuesday it was big rolling tears down his cheeks.

I don't know what to do for the best. I will always put my child first, but I worry about my mental health too.

AIBU to keep these 5 hours on a Thursday?

@scaredyscared1114 I pay for DD to have a day at nursery when I'm not at work just so I get a day to myself. I'm a single parent and suffer with PND so having a day without DD and when I'm not at work is vital. I think it's the only thing that keeps me sane if I'm honest.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with wanting some time to yourself. But I would probably consider an extra day in nursery - or why not just have the childminder for both days, you’ll save quite a lot (my DS is with his cm three days and seems to love it, I’ve never felt he’s been missing out by not going to nursery) Because that’s quite a lot of different settings/different caregivers throughout the week for a young child.

If you can afford it and you are not expecting your spouse to never have child-free time outside of work, then enjoy it. It’s very hard to carve out time for yourself. If you have done so, be happy.

SAHM here - I send my two and three year olds to a childminder two full days per week. It's really made me a better mum, I'm fully focused and so much more patient with them on the other loooong 5 days! Don't buy into the "mum-guilt" OP - heaven knows no man would feel guilty in this situation! I hope you feel back to yourself soon

If you can afford it and you are not expecting your spouse to never have child-free time outside of work, then enjoy it. It’s very hard to carve out time for yourself

The OP isn’t having children free time out of work. She’s having child free time to do housework. That’s NOT “time for yourself”.

Her husband already has 4 child free days to work - it’s in her first post.

He works 4 days at work.

She works 3 days, two in paid work and one in the house.

I don’t know why so many people are convinced that housework isn’t work.

I'm a sahm but we pay a childminder half day a week.. Just so I can go and do. What needs to be done in peace Or have a sleep or meet friends.
Best thing I did.

Good Lord don't worry about it.

I worked part time before becoming a SAHM, we kept Ds1 in a nursery 1 day a week where I blitzed the house and went to the supermarket but I still had several hours left over for me. He wasn't even 2.

I had a lovely bath without a child trying to get in, a a lovely little nap. It is vital for your wellbeing to look after yourself. If that means time away from your child so be it.