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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A spot of electoral fraud or chill out?

33 replies

asdapryce · 11/12/2019 20:29

We live in one of the country’s top 10 marginal seats but my husband can’t vote tomorrow because he’s in the PICU with our daughter. I’ve already voted by post and am out of the country until late tomorrow. There’s no way to arrange an emergency proxy because it can only be done for medical issues for the voter not a dependent or for work reasons. I’ve phoned the election office to check. The man hinted we should falsify one of the acceptable reasons but I don’t feel comfortable with that. DH reckons it would be fine and that his boss would have no probs signing an emergency proxy form with a made up reason. What can we do? Post on a local FB page asking a voter of the opposite colour to step down too? Or just accept it probably won’t come down to 1 vote? I’m so anxious about this election.

OP posts:
Violetroselily · 11/12/2019 21:02

Sorry your daughter is in PICU. Does he need to be there from 7am to 10pm?

DeathStare · 11/12/2019 21:17

Just do it.

DeathStare · 11/12/2019 21:18

Post on a local FB page asking a voter of the opposite colour to step down too

Nobody is going to do that. This isn't Bartlet vs Ritchie

PooWillyBumBum · 11/12/2019 21:22

I would give them an acceptable reason. Your husband has a right to a vote and common sense says he needs to be at the hospital.

noblegiraffe · 11/12/2019 21:24

Not sure it’s electoral fraud if someone uses their own vote.

Sounds more like an issue of the patriarchy - not considering that someone might genuinely not be able to vote because they’re looking after a dependent.

Crunchymum · 11/12/2019 21:26

Can her not nip out at any point to vote?

It's horrible to have a child in hospital (our DC3 was in NICU for her first few weeks) but all the parents had a bit of a breather regardless of how ill their baby was.

Your DH can surely pop out quickly?

needsomehelptoday · 11/12/2019 21:28

Post on a local FB page asking a voter of the opposite colour to step down too

Of course no one is going to do that.

Your DH definitely can't leave for an hour to go and vote? Forgive my ignorance but I've had 2 friends with babies in NICU for months and they were at home with their other children/working. Apologies if it's more complex than that and I hope your baby makes a speedy recovery.

ElluesPichulobu · 11/12/2019 21:34

is there someone appropriate (one of your parents, DHs parents, or does DD have godparents? or an aunt or uncle?) who could sit with her for the time it takes for DH to vote?

I wouldn't recommend electoral fraud but I would move heaven and earth to vote in a marginal. it may not come down to one vote but if we end up disappointed on Friday morning we need to know we did everything we could.

Original poster
asdapryce · 11/12/2019 22:08

I suggested he could nip out. It would be for around 2 hours as the hosp is around 55 mins from our home and polling station. He’s very reluctant. Unfortunately there are no other adults she knows who could sit with her.

OP posts:
Original poster
asdapryce · 11/12/2019 22:10

She’s not a baby who can be left asleep. She’s a toddler/pre-schooler and is very aware of what’s happening and who’s with her.

OP posts:
DeathStare · 11/12/2019 22:10

Just get his boss to sign the forms. It's fine. Nobody will begrudge that for a man sitting with his sick child. And if they do, they should fuck off.

delineateddelinquent · 11/12/2019 22:10

What age is your daughter?

Can you swap places with him?

DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 11/12/2019 22:12

Get the emergency proxy. His reason is just as deserving as the official accepted ones.

Original poster
asdapryce · 11/12/2019 22:43

@delineateddelinquent I’m in a different country until after polls close.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 11/12/2019 22:45

The polls are open until 10 though aren't they? Surely shell sleep at some point so he can pop home to get changed?

gamerchick · 11/12/2019 22:46

I'm.sorry your daughter is poorly Flowers

Khione · 11/12/2019 23:06

You are out the country - there is nothing you can do to influences this. If your husband and his boss want to work this out that is surely up to them.

Butterisbest · 11/12/2019 23:10

Mammajay · 11/12/2019 23:17

I don't think any seat was ever won by just one vote.

Knowhowufeel · 11/12/2019 23:19

You'd be wrong to commit fraud. Pretty sure his 1 vote won't make a difference, and at least you'll have a clear conscience.

DeathStare · 11/12/2019 23:21

I don't think any seat was ever won by just one vote

It's rare but it has happened. And in 2011 a local council seat in Bury was decided by the drawing of lots after a tie.

Thethiniceofanewday · 11/12/2019 23:35

North East Fife at the 2017 election had a majority of 2

needsomehelptoday · 12/12/2019 07:41

She’s not a baby who can be left asleep. She’s a toddler/pre-schooler and is very aware of what’s happening and who’s with her.

Totally understandable then, my 3yo would be distraught to be left. I misread PICU as NICU I think.

chinateapot · 12/12/2019 08:01

I don’t think your husband should leave your daughter and so sorry she’s so poorly.
Would anyone be prepared to sign to say he is unwell due to stress and so needs an emergency proxy vote (Id certainly be out of my mind with stress if asked to leave my kid in PICU alone for 2 hours!)

sunshinekids · 12/12/2019 08:04

Do you think your worry about your daughter is being transferred to worry about the election?

If my child was in PICU I don't think the election would even cross my mind.

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