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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To keep dd off school as everyone is ill!

26 replies

Witness55 · 11/12/2019 16:07

Dd is 15 and has a real fear of sick. She's been freaking out all week as at least half the students in her class are throwing up at school and have been sent home with it. Plus a lot of staff too. She's had mostly supply teachers and doing hardly any work either. Today she's come home in tears after 2 people were sick in front of her and has begged me to let her stay off! My heart says yes but head says dont be ridiculous! It's not just the rest of this week to do but 4 days next week too!
How bad does it get before they close schools? About 6 have closed for a few days in neighbouring areas.

OP posts:
PinkOnWednesday · 11/12/2019 16:31

YANBU that sounds awful! it’s nearly the end of term and if she’s doing no proper work anyway I’d let her stay off

HanginWithMyGnomies · 11/12/2019 16:38

Is she year 11? It’s GCSE year, I know it must just be awful for her, but either get her the work to do at home or send her in. It’s a really important time.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 11/12/2019 16:41

Someone being sick in front of her is unfortunate, however it could happen anywhere in life, if it’s so bad that’s she’s wanting to avoid schooling then I’d be seeking for her to receive therapy.

YABU.

churchandstate · 11/12/2019 16:42

No, I would send her in.

user1471449295 · 11/12/2019 16:45

As someone with emetophobia, I completely understand the utter horror for her.
I have one of the same age and I would keep them off in the same circumstances, however I know I’ll be a minority. I’d make sure they are revising from 8:30-4:00.
It’s so contagious, chances are if two people were sick in front of her she may have already picked it up though. It’s awful, especially as the whole family is likely to catch it and being so close to Xmas

Crunchymum · 11/12/2019 16:49

Half her class were sick? At school?

I am a life long emetophobe and whilst I understand the complete and utter horror of anyone being sick in front of her, I can't believe half a class we all throwing up at school.

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 11/12/2019 16:53

I'd keep her off, it doesnt sound like she is learning anything anyway.

I have a fear of sick though, it just makes me want to cry, it's a real fear, it's going to be making her feel panicky and awful wondering who is going to be next

thaegumathteth · 11/12/2019 16:54

Please don't let her avoid situations which make her anxious. It's not helpful.

Original poster
Witness55 · 11/12/2019 16:55

No I don't mean half the class were sick in front of her! 2 were today and various others throughout the week. In her lessons she says theres only 15 of them which is half usual amount.
And yes in Yr11 which is why I dont really want her to miss work. But then again they're barely doing any!!

OP posts:
Absoluteunit · 11/12/2019 16:57

I would keep her off if her phobia is that bad. But I would also be looking into some sort of therapy for it.

AlphaLemon · 11/12/2019 16:57

Whilst it does sound awful, I’d be conscious of teaching avoidance as a way to deal with phobias, in case it generalises to other things.

Mrsjayy · 11/12/2019 16:59

If she is going to get it she will get it i know it is fear of if and when but i do think she needs to go in.

dottiedodah · 11/12/2019 17:00

I would keep her off TBH. She needs to be calm and revise properly ,not be worried about being sick FGS! As they are not doing much work anyway shouldnt really cause any problems !

HanginWithMyGnomies · 11/12/2019 17:07

@Witness55 if they’re barely doing any work then ask for a homework pack and let her do it at home. As long as she’s doing it, then she may as well do it where she can concentrate :)

Cantaloupeisland · 11/12/2019 17:11

Witness55 can I ask what area you're in? Only because my school in the South East has had literally hundreds of kids off every day this week, wondering if it's just us!

LLMD · 11/12/2019 17:16

I think it’s happening across the country. I’m in NW and norovirus is spreading so fast.

Schools have been closed for deep cleans etc this week.

HanginWithMyGnomies · 11/12/2019 17:17

I’m in west mids and mine have been closed for days for noro too.

WhatHaveIFound · 11/12/2019 17:22

I'm in Yorkshire and there's a lot of sickness at both my DC's schools. I've been on edge for the last couple of weeks hoping mine don't catch anything as we're going on holiday over Christmas.

In your case i'd probably keep your DD off school. I'm surprised they haven't closed if there's so many off and with vomiting going on in the school.

WorraLiberty · 11/12/2019 17:31

Hmm, who told you they're barely doing any work though?

No, I'd send her.

She's going to have to get used to this sort of thing and who knows, she may be more resilient than she thinks.

I mean she got through today after 2 people were sick in front of her, didn't she?

debbs77 · 11/12/2019 17:55

I would definitely keep her home and insist she revises. My daughter is in year 11 and not doing loads of work at the moment, but has to study over christmas ready for the first day back.

Original poster
Witness55 · 11/12/2019 18:12

West Yorkshire. It's rife here and everywhere I suppose.
I'm going to see what she's like in the morning. Hopefully she'll be in a better mood and cooperate (crosses fingers 😂)

OP posts:
HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 11/12/2019 19:15

We are in the North East, ds1 senior school was closed for 4 days due to the norovirus, (plus numerous other schools near us) as well as over 100 other schools across England.

Darbs76 · 11/12/2019 20:30

I think she’s just going to have to learn to deal with it. In the real world she won’t be able to stay off work etc. Finding some help for her longer term would be more beneficial

Petrichor11 · 11/12/2019 20:46

I’m an emetophobe, mostly it doesn’t rule my life anymore but it absolutely did in my late teens.

If she’s constantly on edge panicking about who’s going to be sick next, she won’t be learning anything. Being in a constant state of anxiety is horrific.

But at the same time, she can’t stay off school/work every time a bug is going round. And what if you let her stay off tomorrow, and she hears that more people were sick, she won’t want to go in on Friday. Then it’s the weekend and plenty of time to catastrophise it and not want to go in Monday, and so on

I absolutely sympathise with her, this would be my worst nightmare. I would feel exactly the same as her. But I’m not sure what the answer is sadly Sad

CakeandCustard28 · 11/12/2019 20:48

Keep her off. My kids school had it and I refused to send them in until they had cleaned the school.

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