to start being a bit selfish

[cjt110]

I have ME. I am fucking exhausted. I do a lot at home - I'm not a martyr but due to my anxieties I do a lot around the house, and also for others.

I find it hard to say no to heping others out. I changed my working days a while ago, reducing from 5 to 4 and I don't remember the last time I had a day off on a Friday to myself without helping someone out, or some such.

Tomorrow I just want to switch my phone off after drop off at school and spend a day to myself in silence.

AIBU to be selfish

Sorry, I mean on Friday*

No, do it!

Absolutely do it. I could have written your post myself.

Self care is so, so important.

It's not selfish, it's taking good care of yourself.

I have a chronic illness that causes fatigue if I push myself too hard. When you are dealing with that sort of condition, it's really important to take your time and build in rest periods to your day and week. It also helps to clear your plate of as much unnecessary stuff as possible.

If you don't do that you end up crashing out, which is not good.

Op please, please, do it!!!
Make sure you have lovely food in the fridge!!

Of course it's not selfish. Everybody needs time.

Some will spend 3 hours at the hairdresser, others will train for a marathon, or bake cakes, take a nap... It's more than important to do things just for you.

It's easier if you treat your own time as an actual scheduled job. You can't help, because you are busy. Done.

Thank you. I have an eternal guilt that I should be helping out... My husband is off and actually, I'd give anything for him to be at work on Friday. It sucks that he will be home. How horrid of me is that?

My one saviour is I don't think he's bought my christmas gift, or birthday gift yet, so will be out for some time on Friday.

It might be useful to have a chat with him before Friday about what you would like the day to look like. So that he has no expectations of you.

So, if you want to spend the day in bed or on the sofa, tell him that that is what you will be doing .

Why does it matter if he's home? He won't be asking you to do stuff for him, will he? If he does, just say no. Ask him to make you cups of tea, and food.

You need to start thinking of yourself more and being sensible with your spoons. ME is an horrendous condition and you need to take care. Sending un-MNtty hugs from me.

Because I feel obliged, even if he doesn't say outwardly, to do something with him.

@WeirdCatLady Thank you x

You need to remember that he loves you. He understands. Those of us who see the struggle day to day don’t understand the rawness of it for you, but we see the impact it ravages upon you. It is gut wrenching and sorrowful. Let him take care of you. You do things for him too, just in a slightly different way to the ‘norm’.

(Mum to an ME teenager for the past ten years so I speak from experience).

I've taken a day off today, without telling anyone in my family, to do just that. I'm knackered and I need a break. So I've taken one. It's liberating!