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AIBU?

To want to know if previous police complaints have been made

2 replies

worried123454321 · 11/12/2019 00:14

Long time Mnetter but nc'd for this just in case. A bit worried about being outed here, but I'll try to be clear.

I recently found out that someone I know well socially has had numerous complaints made about him (his behaviour and things he's done), by women, to the police. He's come so close to being prosecuted several times, but has somehow managed to avoid it by the skin of his teeth.

I really had thought he was a nice family man and although I'm rarely shocked by anything I hear, I'm stunned right now.

It's made me worry in terms of men I date, or even socialise with and might be alone with. I'd honestly thought how lucky this man's wife was (apparently a lot of the things people have complained about have been whilst he's been with his wife). I feel pretty stupid because I'd actually thought to myself that I would like to find a partner as nice as him.

What I'd like to know is if there's any way you can find out whether prospective boyfriends have had complaints made about them to the police, or have a criminal record or are subject to any restraining orders. It took me a long time to get past a previous EA relationship and into a good place mentally and this has made me feel very nervous about everything

OP posts:
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HanginWithMyGnomies · 11/12/2019 00:52

www.met.police.uk/advice/advice-and-information/daa/domestic-abuse/alpha/request-information-under-clares-law/

You can request information under Claire’s law @worried123454321 :)

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cabbageking · 11/12/2019 01:04

The are unlikely to consider prospective partners as it is intimate or emerging relationships. It implies they are your partner in some form and pose a risk. They may therefore decide not to share previous arrests or any criminal record for other offences.

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