To ask for your help describing a contraction?

[Itsnotmessitsashithole]

Lovely friend is heavily pregnant with her first and has asked me to describe a contraction to her...

Apparently ‘arrrrrghhhh’ was not descriptive enough. But even though it was only 6 months ago, I just found it impossible to describe

So how would you describe a contraction? Will send her a link to thread so do your worst!

I will be open and honest that in my second birth, something funny was going on and the pressure of the head was at times weirdly enjoyable feeling. I did experience some weird nerve sensations of the strange kind. I wasn’t sure if I was going to drop the baby, wee poo or have an orgasm

Natural contractions were less horrible than induced contractions. I did not know I was in labour until the very late stage as it just felt like a dragging ache in my legs, my second Labour was very fast and the pushing just seemed to happen to me, not me doing rh pushing. Labour 1 was induced and was more like an endurance of endless contractions that felt like they went on forever

For me, it was like a vacuum cleaner was sucking everything down mixed with the feeling of sudden severe constipation. Which is completely different to how my sister describes hers so I actually think there must be enough variation that knowing what to expect won’t necessarily help.

Waves of pain, building then fading. I was surprised that it was all radiated from my back and not the front. More similar to the pain of a stomache upset than period pain. I think I was quite lucky though from reading other posts. No hot poker sensations, vaginal pain or ring of fire. There seems to be a lot of variation.

Firstly like someone had a big elastic belt wrapped round my tummy high up and was pulling it tighter and tighter in a really aggressive way.

Changed to, the same someone using a hammer and smacking me between the legs really hard (I passed out multiple times at this point).

Fun stuff.

Maybe don’t be too honest with her!

For me, first labour was long and started with tightening around my back and belly which got progressively more painful. I managed on gas and air (midwife unit so strong stuff not available anyway.) By the end of first stage I was screaming with each contraction (I know you’re supposed to try to conserve energy but no way could I have stopped myself.)

However all that paled into insignificance compared to second stage and actually pushing the baby out. The midwife removed the gas and air because she needed me to focus and push and I honestly thought I’d die...crowning felt like someone blow torching my vagina, and I also tore and felt it as I had no pain relief by then.

BUT what is incredible is the moment the baby is out, your whole perception changes. For instance when the midwife stitched me up, the local anaesthetic wore off at one point (it was a long job) and I can honestly say I just grinned, cuddled my baby and thought ‘ah well’ as the midwife was pushing a needle through my lady bits!! I honestly felt that having survived first time labour, nothing else would come close in terms of pain again, which actually made me feel pretty invincible.

But really I don’t think a pregnant woman needs too much reality!

I had two babies and didn’t feel a single thing with either.

Two c-sections, both early on, for different reasons.

I spent my entire pregnancies in a state of panic about how I’d cope with the pain - turns out I had a whole different set of worries, but no pain.

So you can never really prepare.

@sycamore54321

But I must say, I can’t stand the ridiculous gas lighting job that some women seem to insist on doing when it comes to Labour pain. Every society at every time in history has acknowledged that childbirth hurts. A lot. Until the internet era and suddenly we are all insisting it’s just fear and intensity and surges and any actual pain is due to you feeling fear and panic, and by implication, it’s your own fault because you didn’t relax enough. That’s insulting nonsense and yet we persist in pushing it on pregnant women

You are fundamentally misunderstanding. No-one is saying if you ‘do it right’ it’s not going to hurt at all. It does hurt. But if you can relax and breathe in to the contractions it hurts a hell of a lot less. And there’s basic scientific reasoning behind that it’s not ‘nonsense’. When you panic you go into fight or flight mode. You tense up. Release adrenaline. This tenses all your muscles up more (more painful contractions) and also stops the release of Oxytocin the body’s natural painkiller (more painful contractions). So it’s not about ‘lying’ to women. It’s about informing them so they can make their own decisions about how they labour.

18 years since I suffered but haven't forgotten.

To me, it was a whole-body cramp. Very very painful cramp.

Obviously, they came and went until the last hour when that was just one long contraction until DS came out.

My labour was drug-free and only a total of 12 hours from the first twinge to delivery.

No two labours are the same so my experience cannot describe another.

It feels like a very sharp tense period cramp, that comes and goes, and gradually gets worse and feels like you are being stretched apart, Until a small human literally rips you apart from the inside.

Literally had my baby 3 days ago and i couldn't even describe them to you. I just remember thinking 'I can deal with these, they're not so bad' to very quickly thinking 'fuck, these are much worse than I could have imagined'. I had a very fast labour though and PGP. Baby was extremely low so it felt like my hips and back were about to break, the tightenings in my stomach weren't too bad.

If it wasn't for her head pressing on my spine and hip problems, I think they'd have been a lot more manageable!

The dull ache of a period pain but just stronger. I can kind of feel it if I close my eyes and try really hard.

The thing I never really considered or knew or could comprehend until my first was how something that hurt THAT much but then just be over in a second once the baby is out. I was used to bad pain from injuries that gradually fades over time.

Felt like my lower back was opening, my vagina was was being stretched open and pressured from the inside out and my all the muscles in my legs were being pulled at the same time. Oh and wave after wave of period/diarrhoea like pain. Then I threw up a lot and sweated like a pig.

I agree @Solitaryradiator

With my first two babies, I was so scared of the sensations that I was trying to hold the babies in. I was not even aware of this until the midwife pointed out that I was clenching and resisting.

I think you just tell her to trust her instincts and that no one will laugh at her if she goes in too soon.

I've had all sorts of contractions (I have had 4 DC). DC4 they were only ever about 10 seconds long and more like somebody pulling the leg hairs in my thighs into a ponytail - painful but fine. DC3 was back to back and oh my god I thought I was going to die from the pain.

All reasonable, quickish, home in 6 hours type labours with no tearing.

@MidsomerMum I can kind of understand the vacuum analogy. I’ve always thought period pain was like feeling empty and so you sort of pummel your hands into your stomach to try and fill the pain from everything feeling like it’s gone.
And then labour is like that but more.

Like vomiting thru your arse

I recently had E. Coli poisoning 10 months after giving birth and the cramps in my gut we’re similar... but contractions win hands down for pain, still. My god.

All in my lower back and deep within my back passage. No tummy pain whatsoever

Definetely like when you have severe diarrhoea cranps for me with my first but with my second it was accompanied with shooting pain down the front of my thighs which I found far worse.i wouldn't tell her to be honest - it must be different for everyone

I had E. coli poisoning too. I actually think it was as bad as my 1st labour but it was much, much worse than babies 2 and 3.

However I have come across people who say they felt no pain at all - they are so lucky!

OTOH the brutality of childbirth kind of helps you come to terms with the fact that you have a new little person to look after. It's like a rite of passage.

Friend has text me saying ‘they certainly did their worse!’ After reading this thread but also that she is so thankful and feels calmer about the whole thing I’m now unsure of her reading comprehension.

@itsnotmessitsashithole sure, right, course she did. What a good friend you are.

@Radicalradiator thanks! But do feel free to fuck off.

It’s the same as the pain you get pooing whilst you have your period
Actually my contractions were milder which I found odd !