Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get a tattoo tomorrow

53 replies

Piggleby · 10/12/2019 18:24

Pls be gentle, this my first AIBU (nc from my usual id). So my dog just died today. I sadly don’t have kids and my pets are very much my family. He was only 3 and it was very sudden and unexpected, he hadn’t been ill. This is a major loss for me. I cope with stress by doing things.

I want to get a tattoo, of paw prints and a few other little symbols that link to him, on the inside of my forearm near my elbow, so it would be covered by three-quarter or full-length sleeves.

MN vipers - AIBU to go out and get a tattoo tomorrow, when I’m freshly bereaved and in shock?

Relevant info:

  • I already have 3 tattoos, although all more easily coverable than forearm.
  • I know a good shop/artist, this is not a complicated design, so I feel comfortable trying for a walk-in tomorrow (I know some ppl will say no good shops do walk-ins).
  • This placement is acceptable at my work and quite commonplace in my circles really. Would be under uniform most of the year apart from the three weeks of summer when it’s warm enough for short sleeves. No plans to change jobs, pretty much ever.
  • I’m 37, so not a totally naive and reckless youth.... I do have a spur-of-the-moment breakup tattoo from 15 years ago that I still love.
  • I know paw prints are generic and cliché, don’t care Crown Grin

AIBU to go get inked tomorrow?

OP posts:
sonjadog · 10/12/2019 20:40

I have a paw print tattoo in memory of my dog, so I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting one or the design. However, there isn't any good reason why it has to be done tomorrow. You can do it in 2 months time or whenever. I think the urge to do it here and now is connected to the grief, which probably means it isn't a good idea. If you want a paw tattoo, you will still want one in a couple of months´ time.

GruciusMalfoy · 10/12/2019 20:48

In really sorry this happened, OP. I love my dog too, and understand your grief, but I wouldn't rush into this. You have a design now, but you're not going to be thinking straight and it may not be something you want on your skin forever.

Original poster
Piggleby · 10/12/2019 22:41

Thankyou all for the common sense. I’m not going to go tomorrow and will sit on it for a day or so at least..... ppl are right there’s no real rush, apart from I feel like it is kind of part of how I will be able to process this happening if that makes sense? My coping mechanism is to be doing things, planning things, organising things.

Don’t know when his proper birthday was, he was a rescue. That was a lovely idea though.

I used to say the “if I like a design in a year” thing..... and have not got round to getting tattoos that I still want to get, it feels like they’re missing IYSWIM, and I wish I had got on and had them done (booked in for the complex ones) when the inspiration first struck.

I do have a fairly relaxed attitude about tattoos..... they can be covered or lasered in a worse case scenario, but I have lots of scars and things anyway (not on the area I want this design), a tattoo is just one more, but one that I chose, for better or worse.

Thanks all. Going to bed slightly less wired about doing something immediately.

OP posts:
Original poster
Piggleby · 11/12/2019 12:47

So I went to the tattoo shop.... I was walking past anyway.... and have booked for tomorrow (it’s a new branch of an established studio so they’re not too busy yet). The artist worked on the design with me for about half an hour and I have pics of 2 options to consider - only tiny difference with each. When I said “oh it’s only a simple design” he said “no such thing!”, his attention to detail was really reassuring. I paid already but if I don’t want to go ahead tomorrow I won’t lose it.

Means no Wine tonight though Xmas Shock

OP posts:
FizzyIce · 11/12/2019 12:55

Sorry to hear this , losing a pet is so hard .
If you are sure and it’s something you really want then go for it , if any doubts maybe wait till next week or so

Lifecraft · 11/12/2019 13:44

I've got pawprints on my foot.

I'd be more impressed if you had footprints on your paw.

Winterdaysarehere · 11/12/2019 13:46

When our family ddog died my dm took a photo of ddog to the tattooist.
It was quite a remarkable likeness.

Not just a pic of that breed but our actual ddog.
Sorry for your loss op.
Good luck!

Pimmsypimms · 11/12/2019 13:51

I always think, wait 12 months and if you still want it then have it done. Don't do it on a whim as you have to live with this for the rest of your life. If it's that's special, it's worth waiting 12 months for. Thanks

richteasandcheese · 11/12/2019 15:17

Pop up a pic once it's done ;) hope you are feeling ok today OP

halloumi2019 · 11/12/2019 15:19

I agree with waiting only because you might want a slightly different design or more detail etc, but I suppose if you’re confident in the design & your artist then go for it! You can always add on later.

chillichutneysarnie · 11/12/2019 16:04

Perhaps, if you decide not to, you could commission a piece of artwork to put on your wall instead, there are lots of sellers on Etsy doing all sorts of pet portraits etc. Sorry for your bad news x

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 11/12/2019 16:08

Get the tattoo, you’ve already got tattoos it’s not like you don’t know what your doing!

When my dd was stillborn I had a tattoo for her, 3 days later. Was I grieving yes, but that doesn’t mean I was a stupid idiot who didn’t know what she was doing. Do I still love my tattoo? Yes.

LuluBellaBlue · 11/12/2019 16:11

I’m in 2 minds from my own experience with tattoos:
Agree with people that by posting it shows you’re not sure
However I work with my tattooist by booking him for the day and he freestyles! We discuss roughly there and then what to do and he goes ahead - I completely trust him and it’s given him much greater art work freedom and the designs have been amazing. So think spontaneous tattoos can be amazing but due to shock and grieving not sure this is right for you now? Sorry for your loss

recrudescence · 11/12/2019 16:16

I don’t like tattoos and have never had one. But I think I would make an exception to commemorate my dog. Sorry for your loss and good luck at the tattooist.

OJZJ · 11/12/2019 20:47

I have my actual previous cats footprints on me and my old dogs print. Our Siamese died suddenly and tragically and on the way to pet crem I took his print from an ink pad onto paper and got my tattooist to ink it on me, I need to get my new dogs print on me at some point, if you have his body I would take some ink prints off his foot or nose to get tattooed onto you.
I also believe the rule if a tattooist has vacancies to see you that day they arnt worth using though, so be careful and sorry for your loss x

goingtoneedabiggercar · 11/12/2019 20:58

I hope you're happy with the outcome tomorrow. When I had a MC I knew I needed a tattoo to draw a line under what had happened. It helped me heal.

Cryalot2 · 11/12/2019 21:02

Sorry for your loseFlowers
I am an oldie and got a small tattoo when I was a fair age. I have no regrets and never had. So go for it.

Original poster
Piggleby · 11/12/2019 21:29

Thankyou for the kind words everyone. I’ve just had a bit of a moment because my partner posted a tribute on Facebook and it set me off again.

I have my old dogs paw prints on a card too who died 2 years ago, keep them in a memory box, with the speed everything happened I didn’t think to ask this time but I emailed the vets, they’re going to ask if the crematorium can do it for us. I’m happy with the design though, and the little extra symbols represent both dogs.

This really sucks. Hurts so much more than the tattoo will.

OP posts:
Birdshitbridgegotme · 11/12/2019 21:35

I have soooo many tattoos and a sleeve so not against them at all. I say go for it if you want to but I would also say the fact you are asking suggests you are not sure?

Original poster
Piggleby · 12/12/2019 03:43

I think I posted more because I feel as sure as I can be but know other people in my life will maybe be a bit - not sure of the right wording here - judgy? Of a new tattoo very quickly, so I thought I’d ask to see what the general view was, what objections people who don’t know me might say so I could work out if they apply or not.

OP posts:
coffeeoclock · 12/12/2019 03:53

I think it's a great idea but maybe wait a few days to think of the design properly and book it in somewhere really good? I love the idea of dog paw tattoos personally as I think it's a lovely way to remember them. (And I don't have any tattoo's myself!)

I'm so sorry for your loss.Thanks

coffeeoclock · 12/12/2019 03:53

Maybe tomorrow you could get a lovely paw print piece of jewellery to wear whilst you wait for your tattoo?

Justsocross · 12/12/2019 03:57

So sorry that you are going through this . I would go for it noones business but yours . I had one fine just after I lost my mum and it dies give me comfort when I look at it . Dogs are family and it’s important to remember those we love and lose .

TotalRecall · 12/12/2019 04:17

Don’t get a tattoo when you’re sad. I have two regretful tattoos I got while depressed and don’t feel the same anymore!

kimlo · 12/12/2019 06:37

If you are happy with the artist and the design go for it. Tattoos are for you not other people, I don't think you will regret this one.