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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Struggling in new job, it's painful

16 replies

Dawny65 · 10/12/2019 05:17

I started a new job a couple of months ago and am struggling. I've inherited a large backlog so I have to keep my head down & plough through. I sit apart from everyone else, who have been working together for over 20 years. As nice & pleasant as they are I'm struggling to get involved in chat, especially as they're talking about people & places I do not know. They are friendly & supportive on a professional basis but do not really seem interested in integrating me on a more personal level. I don't know if it's me overthinking but I sensed an awkward atmosphere yesterday. I'm normally bubbly & have a laugh at work, but here I feel like I'm withdrawing further into my shell & it is denting my confidence a lot.
It is a temp job but should eventually go to perm. This week I have had interest from another company closer to home & £3,000 more salary per year; but will the same thing happen again?
I had to go out of the office to take a phone call from the new company, which looks suspicious in itself, although a quick phone call is allowed. If I suddenly ask for time off they'll probably guess I'm going for an interview. This could make the atmosphere even more awkward, which will not be good if I don't get the new job.
Trouble is I like this job & the staff are nice enough but I just don't feel like I've clicked.
Do I sit it out, of go for the other job as the prospects are good; and do I go for it in secret or be honest & open about it?

OP posts:
UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 10/12/2019 05:53

For £3k more and a shorter commute, yeah I'd fake a doctor's appointment.

vixb1 · 10/12/2019 05:53

If it's £3k more and closer to home you'd be mad not to go for it. I'd do so in secret if you can.

Hard to say over such a short period of time in your current role whether it's bad chemistry or you just need some more time there. Either way I wouldn't be worrying so early on. If you don't get the other job, you know you need to settle into this one and with time that's likely to happen if you make it clear you're open to it with your colleagues.

I'd give it 12 month and if it's still not clicking get out of there. :-)

transformandriseup · 10/12/2019 06:02

If you are feeling like this after being there 3 months I would definitely consider looking elsewhere.

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 10/12/2019 06:03

Yes, take the other job. I had a job that sounds like the one you are doing now and I let myself be convinced to stick it out for far too long (almost a year). It made me miserable and I'm still recovering from it 6 months after leaving.

KatherineJaneway · 10/12/2019 06:05

Go for the other job. Different workplaces have different cultures.

Oblomov19 · 10/12/2019 06:07

I agree.

I knew my old job wasn't the right fit almost immediately, which made me so sad because when I saw the job advert, it was practically my dream job.

custardbear · 10/12/2019 06:07

Go to the interview - sounds like this new workplace is awful!

TipseyTorvey · 10/12/2019 06:10

Absolutely do the interview. You're only having a look but make sure you ask questions about the culture and team environment. For more money and less of a commute I'd jump at it.

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 10/12/2019 06:10

I'd go for the interview. Sometimes we just don't click with people. Nothing wrong with that and life is too short to be unhappy. Plus the 3K extra and shorter commute are perks!
Sounds like you have nothing to lose. And so sorry to hear you haven't been completely happy in your latest role Flowers

HowDeepIsYourGlove · 10/12/2019 06:10

What’s the worst that could happen? You feel isolated in your new job again?
Well you’d still be £3k better off a year than where you are now and you won’t have to travel as far. Seems like a no brainer to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

MurrayTheMonk · 10/12/2019 06:12

Certainly go for it. This time of year could be anything-kids school play-Drs appointment...don't even feel bad about it tbh. These things happen. As a manager yes it's a bit annoying when new people don't stay but it's not the end of the world.

livefornaps · 10/12/2019 07:00

Good luck!! Chin up. And at the end of the day - it's just work. (writing this on a long commute to a job i am not a massive fan of Wink)

Patte · 10/12/2019 07:04

It generally takes me 6 months to bed into a new job, so I wouldn't panic yet. However, I'd also go for the interview if I were you - you've got nothing to lose by it.

DeeZastris · 10/12/2019 07:11

Go for the interview. Out yourself first.

Goldenchildsmum · 10/12/2019 07:43

You're temp. Of course they'll know you're looking for other work. Definitely take the new position

Viviene · 10/12/2019 07:51

Go for a new job. Take a day annual leave though (so it's above the board) and don't look back. Life's too short to be miserable at work.

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