Xmas lunch dilemma

[relax2]

I need to not be too outing here so I apologise if it seems vague but Basically

Is it unreasonable to not invite parents over for Xmas dinner because one is a raging alcoholic who absolutely stinks due to lack of personal hygiene even though they are alone and would love to be with our family!!! I don't know how to deal with it without being rude and just saying if you shower and smell nice you can come?!!

YANBU,

Arguably they’re not polite to turn up with poor personal hygiene so just stick to the facts. “You’re welcome to come if you willing to make the effort for everybody’s sake and come clean and fresh.”

Where do they live? Do they have adequate washing facilities? Could you just explain to them that to join in the day they need to be clean and fresh. Offer them a shower as soon as they arrive, provide clean clothes and new bath products?

No way would I want a raging alcoholic for Xmas dinner, with or without poor hygiene.

Depends how raging, raging is.
Agree tell them they can join you if they shower/hairwash and water freshly laundered clothing. No nasty comments just stick to facts.

can they be civil or does the alcohol make them nasty. if they are going to be insulting and unpleasant then no amount of washing will help that.

They live in a house and yes have adequate washing facilities . Ok so drinks every night , I don't think washes very much and sweats a lot. It's so hard , they're lovely and my children adore them both. I know addiction is an illness it can't always be helped but I just don't know how to tackle the smell around them. When I see them I try not to breath through my nose it's often so bad 😷

Are they an actual alcoholic or is that your deduction? There are plenty of health conditions that can make you smell.

Unless they're liable to act offensively or dangerously, I think Christmas spirit would be to include them, but maybe for a limited period?

@horse4course yes alcoholic . Dependant on it daily .

@horse4course but no absolutely not awful or aggressive actually total opposite love them dearly but can't get past the smell😷

I would do a visit Christmas Eve, when they prove they can be clean and sober enough them have them come to you but pick them up and say if they are not clean they are not coming.

To be honest, if the smell is bad they may need to help to get clothes properly clean.

If your parents are together tell them both at the same time. Yanbu. At all.

Don’t invite. Sad consequence of the alcoholism and the other parent’s co-depencency.

I don't think it's rude to be honest with close family members. It's rude to not be clean in the company of others.

One person doesn't get to spoil the day for everyone else.