To feel insulted?
Ilovethecity · 09/12/2019 18:06
I got what I thought was a lovely photo of me, dh and our dc on holiday, nice scenery etc, having a lovely day.
We don't often get many snaps of the four of us so I was really pleased with it.
A friend came to visit and I showed her the photo and she burst out laughing and said "OMG what's wrong with your face" and started mimicking my expression. I felt a bit embarrassed so just laughed along and made out like I take a bad picture.
Later on my parents visited I asked is this a terrible photo, my dad said "you look really miserable", and my mum said "I think you look very nervous". I do actually have anxiety which my family are aware of so not really a nice thing to say.
Aibu to be hurt?
Eggies · 09/12/2019 18:13
Yanbu to feel insulted but just ignore them - who cares what they think, It's a lovely pic of you and your family and you love it so no one else's opinion should matter. I have had a similar comment made to me by my db about a photo of the 2 of us! Some people just have no tact.
Ilovethecity · 09/12/2019 20:24
Thanks, perhaps I need a thicker skin.
Sorry to drip feed but I think my hurt runs a bit deeper which is why I'm probably a bit sensitive.
Friend has said things before such as laughing at my clothes or my glasses but all done in a jokey way.
As for my mum and dad, I don't have an excellent relationship with my dad, although we do get along better these days when I was in my teens he went through a stage of calling me fat (I was never fat) and laughing at my clothes and make up, my mum did nothing. I ended up losing weight even though I didn't need to and he told me my backside looked too big in proportion to my body. It took its toll. They knew I was upset about the photo but still chose to pick fault.
I feel as though lots of people in my life think they've got a free pass to insult me.
I spent years getting called fat by my dad and sister, however these days if I do much as turn down a chocolate at work I get told it's no wonder I'm so skinny, even though I'm just an average healthy weight.
I've had my hair insulted by my mil and my sister. I've had my body shape insulted.
People just always seem to be commenting on my appearance in a negative way. I don't do anything to deliberately draw attention to myself and I don't comment on other people's appearances unless it's complimentary, so I don't get it.
Symbollove · 09/12/2019 20:38
Aww hey forget all of those who have nothing nice to say.
I think you may be an easy target and they get away with saying such thimgs, next time pit them in their place, say something negative about themselves and see how they like it then.
Focus on your dh and children who love you.
StickyToffeeTart · 09/12/2019 22:31
The thing is, you know your friend is a dick, and your dad has been critical of you before, so they aren't good judges anyway are they? Whether they're insecure or just get a kick out of being an arse, it doesn't matter, they were always going to give negative feedback. Don't feel bad about wanting their approval, we're hardwired to want approval (particularly from family and friends!) but remember that what they say is really about them not you. Easier said than done, but you're putting all the power in their hands!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.