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To feel insulted?

14 replies

Ilovethecity · 09/12/2019 18:06

I got what I thought was a lovely photo of me, dh and our dc on holiday, nice scenery etc, having a lovely day.

We don't often get many snaps of the four of us so I was really pleased with it.

A friend came to visit and I showed her the photo and she burst out laughing and said "OMG what's wrong with your face" and started mimicking my expression. I felt a bit embarrassed so just laughed along and made out like I take a bad picture.

Later on my parents visited I asked is this a terrible photo, my dad said "you look really miserable", and my mum said "I think you look very nervous". I do actually have anxiety which my family are aware of so not really a nice thing to say.

Aibu to be hurt?

OP posts:

lippi · 09/12/2019 18:08

Your friend is a cunt and your parents could have been kinder but you did ask.
Lose the friend and tell her why!


Eggies · 09/12/2019 18:13

Yanbu to feel insulted but just ignore them - who cares what they think, It's a lovely pic of you and your family and you love it so no one else's opinion should matter. I have had a similar comment made to me by my db about a photo of the 2 of us! Some people just have no tact.


autumndreaming · 09/12/2019 18:55

I don't think your parents were being mean as you did ask, and I would expect my parents to be honest. However your friend is horrible!


CAG12 · 09/12/2019 19:01

Perhaps id be a bit miffed but thats about it


Ilovethecity · 09/12/2019 20:24

Thanks, perhaps I need a thicker skin.

Sorry to drip feed but I think my hurt runs a bit deeper which is why I'm probably a bit sensitive.

Friend has said things before such as laughing at my clothes or my glasses but all done in a jokey way.

As for my mum and dad, I don't have an excellent relationship with my dad, although we do get along better these days when I was in my teens he went through a stage of calling me fat (I was never fat) and laughing at my clothes and make up, my mum did nothing. I ended up losing weight even though I didn't need to and he told me my backside looked too big in proportion to my body. It took its toll. They knew I was upset about the photo but still chose to pick fault.

I feel as though lots of people in my life think they've got a free pass to insult me.

I spent years getting called fat by my dad and sister, however these days if I do much as turn down a chocolate at work I get told it's no wonder I'm so skinny, even though I'm just an average healthy weight.

I've had my hair insulted by my mil and my sister. I've had my body shape insulted.

People just always seem to be commenting on my appearance in a negative way. I don't do anything to deliberately draw attention to myself and I don't comment on other people's appearances unless it's complimentary, so I don't get it.

OP posts:

iklboodolphrednosedreindeer · 09/12/2019 20:26

Your friend is not a friend. She's a bully who makes herself feel better by putting you down all the time.


Cherrysoup · 09/12/2019 20:28

Friend has said things before such as laughing at my clothes or my glasses but all done in a jokey way

She’s a frenemy, isn’t she?


Symbollove · 09/12/2019 20:38

Aww hey forget all of those who have nothing nice to say.

I think you may be an easy target and they get away with saying such thimgs, next time pit them in their place, say something negative about themselves and see how they like it then.
Focus on your dh and children who love you.


dottydaily · 09/12/2019 21:23

Anytime someone comments negatively on your appearance say “well I think I look great” and smile (even if you don’t think so)...eventually you won’t hear the negative comments...your openion on your appearance,clothes,glasses etc is all that matters..


pugparty · 09/12/2019 21:28

Some people are just dicks. Someone at work today walked into my office to get my advice on something and opened with "Hello...whats wrong with your eyebrows?!" Sometimes the problem is with other people and their ineptitude, not you!


StickyToffeeTart · 09/12/2019 22:31

The thing is, you know your friend is a dick, and your dad has been critical of you before, so they aren't good judges anyway are they? Whether they're insecure or just get a kick out of being an arse, it doesn't matter, they were always going to give negative feedback. Don't feel bad about wanting their approval, we're hardwired to want approval (particularly from family and friends!) but remember that what they say is really about them not you. Easier said than done, but you're putting all the power in their hands!


CSIblonde · 09/12/2019 23:51

Your friend isn't a friend. And your Dad is emotionally abusive,which leaves you with low self esteem that others lick up on & then take advantage off. I'd spend your time with nicer people OP. Life's too short for their toxic crap.


CSIblonde · 09/12/2019 23:51

*that should read pick up on!


Sagradafamiliar · 10/12/2019 00:39

It's not you, it's them. Fuckers. That's a precious family photo and I'm sure your kids will think so especially, when they're older.

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