AIBU?
Autism/safeguarding issue?
Pr1mus · 09/12/2019 09:06
Hi there, this is my first post here.
So basically I am on the autistic spectrum (high functioning/aspergers) and I have a 10 month I'll old baby. I recieved a copy of a letter the perinatal mental health team had sent to my GP the other day, and under the heading 'safeguarding issues' it says that because I am autistic I cannot understand emotions therefore this can have an impact on my ability to parent my son.
AIBU to be annoyed by this assumption? And how should I go about addressing this?
Just to clarify, I do not have difficulties understanding emotions at all, in fact if anything I feel I probably understand them better than a neurotypical person. I'm quite hurt that they would make that assumption and assume it to be a safeguarding issue where my baby is concerned!
This is one of many difficulties I am having with the perinatal team, as they basically treat me like I'm stupid, but this is just the icing on the cake for me.
Any opinions or advice on the matter is greatly appreciated, thankyou!
bsc · 09/12/2019 09:12
Unfortunately many people have a misunderstanding or only partial understanding of autism, even in healthcare professions.
Don't worry about their assumptions, your happy thriving baby will demonstrate that you're doing what you should be
(Are you named after the band, btw?)
Pr1mus · 09/12/2019 09:13
@bsc thankyou for your reply! It is really frustrating, I'd have appreciated if they'd asked me if that is the case before reporting it as a safeguarding issue. They're making me really doubt myself as a mother!
And yes, I'm named after the band 😂 x
bsc · 09/12/2019 09:15
Oh, and IME almost all healthcare professionals treat mums-to-be and new mum's as if they're stupid!
My midwife refused to accept I didn't smoke, and that I didn't know that I didn't smoke 
I was white, professional, middle-class, mid-30s, in my own home... so goodness knows how they treat people that aren't articulate, in social housing etc
Napmum · 09/12/2019 09:24
Hi OP if you are not happy I would speak to the PALS (patient advice liaison ? supper?) team about your concerns. Every NHS trust has one they can tell you how to address your concerns. I would also ask the question where else has this safeguarding concern has been sent. Also ask if you can have information about the local mental health advocacy service they may also be able to support you in addressing this, it's great to have someone who is else emotionally invested in the situation who can fight your side.
You say that this is based on assumptions rather than fact so I would ask to see your mental health notes (PALS should be able to help with that). Then you can see any formal assessments which should mention if they have assessed you as having any deficit in understanding or interpreting emotions if it does you can ask for a second opinion if it does you can cite this as proof that their concerns are not valid.
It's horrid when such assumptions are made without consulting you. And I hope that you can address this in a way which makes you feel more in control of the situation. X
Pr1mus · 09/12/2019 09:24
@bsc it's ridiculous isn't it! They keep telling me it's because in autistic I 'don't understand these things', but I really do! I'm autistic, but I'm not stupid! I'm fed up of their assumptions and treating me like a child. Luckily I'm only under them for another 2 months but I can't get over what they wrote to my GP. (Also Primus are one of my favourite bands 😂)
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