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To be terrified of letting go and getting out in the real world again?

8 replies

recklessruby · 08/12/2019 15:53

I m 51. Been on my own for over 20 years after my dd s dad cheated on me and left.
Prior to this I was with my first boyfriend from school until he died in a road accident age 24 when our ds was 4.
I have always thought he was the great love of my life and just got on with bringing up dc (now adults) and working.
I qualified as a teacher and teach at our old school and life was content.
However my year group from 86 have just had a reunion and want to make a regular thing of it (drinks, karaoke etc). I want to go but I m scared of getting back out there (I only usually go out with family).
I also found out not long ago that my ds dad cheated on me with another friend while we were together. This has made me think I ve wasted my life thinking he was perfect and not meeting anyone else.
So aibu to think I m too old to get out there again and to be terrified to try?

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Aquamarine1029 · 08/12/2019 16:00

Of course you're not too old! Socialising with a group of friends is a great way to "get back out there." I'm sure you'll have lots of fun!


recklessruby · 08/12/2019 16:01

Didnt mean to do voting thing

OP posts:

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 08/12/2019 16:05

Not too old. My XnotsoDH traded me in for a younger model, with an overlap, after searching for a new wife online. Mucho threads on here at the time under a previous user name. Despite being a bit of a chubster and 52, after a couple of years I met now DH. Much happier. There was some online dating silliness before meeting DH, but I was much better at weeding them out by then. I only actually met DH. Keep the faith!


HerrenaHarridan · 08/12/2019 16:32

Oh sweetheart!

There is no ‘one true love’ there are just varying levels of compatibility.
No one is perfect or perfect for you. You will always need to make some compromises to make a relationship work.

Get out, have fun!

Wear short skirts, dye your hair, travel to the places you’ve always wondered about, kiss someone first... life is short and your health isn’t guaranteed... so live it!


helpfulperson · 08/12/2019 16:39

Getting out there doesn't need to mean finding a new partner. Go along to the reunion, if you dont enjoy it you dont need to go back. Start trying to build a social life away from your family so when your children move on with their lives you have places to go and people to see.


MojoMoon · 08/12/2019 16:51

Going out for drinks and karaoke doesn't have to mean going out on the pull for men...

Focus on building a social life with nice adults, men and women, building up your social confidence and life a bit so you have a wider, diverse set of friends.

Maybe you meet a romantic partner at some point. But you'll have friends in any case.


recklessruby · 08/12/2019 17:17

Haha I dont think I would know how to go out on the pull for men Grin.
I know I m bored of my look. I have long hair that s ALWAYS in a bun and am thinking of getting a longish bob and some blonde highlights.

OP posts:

MojoMoon · 08/12/2019 21:04

Do it. Why not?
Try a new hair cut, go out with these old friends, think about signing up for a class/activity/group and meet other new people and try learning a new skill?

Life is for living. Get out there

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