Introverts and Christmas parties

[QueenViki]

I’m a painfully shy person and dread social situations. Next weekend is my works do and I am getting anxiety already, it’s spoiling the run up to Christmas because it’s hanging over me (and costing a fortune!). My work colleagues are all women as I work in a nursery and they’re nice enough but rather cliquey and as the quiet part time worker I tend to get ignored. It’s like a dinner dance type thing so I suppose I could just join in with the dancing when it starts up but otherwise I really struggle to know what to say to them without the nursery children there providing a distraction and something to talk about! They all seem to do it all so effortlessly. Does anyone else hate work Christmas parties and how do you get through them?

I agree. I hate them. DH always invites me to his. I don't want to go but I'd feel bad declining when everyone else's DW / DH / DP goes.

I like to have an exit plan if I’m feeling unsure about going somewhere. I usually drive so I can leave when I’ve had enough and just say I’ve got an early start the next day if anyone questions it. Plus staying sober means I have no beer fear the next day that I’ve made an idiot of myself. Set yourself a target of how long you’ll stay for and that may help you relax a bit. Anxiety sucks, I totally get how you’re feeling xxxx

I work on a team and we are ALL introverts. So for our Christmas team event, we hire a little private room in a lovely hotel. We get champagne and cakes, and we are all allowed to bring our favorite book and another we would recommend. We sit in this lovely environment, sipping champagne and reading our books, or the new ones others have brought,.,... it is peaceful but we enjoy being together.... it is a blissful way to celebrate and we all love it!

My office party, on the other hand is ridiculously loud and I never go - or drop in for 10 minutes max before I need to retire! 🤣

I am the same. I enjoy the meal part but as soon as that’s finished I start thinking how soon can I get away.

Oh my goodness Bravegoldie that sounds like bliss!

I can’t be something I’m not though!

No we can't. But we can claim who we are. And it sounds as if you have many attributes, sensitivity- you are articulate and able to express your thoughts, you love and listen, you relate to children. Coming onto a public forum and discussing these things shows you have strength .
I understand you have lost some confidence- but it can be regained.
I like to think we can uncover the queen in you XX

I just don’t go. I struggled through them for years, but have lately decided not to bother putting myself through something I hate.
I go to our team lunch, as I like and want to socialise with my immediate team over lunch, but decline the main, huge office party.

For a couple of years I made up an excuse, but know I just say no thanks, not my thing. No one cares!

I hate them too OP. Most socialising sends my stress levels soaring and I talk an awful lot of shite to compensate. Never happier than being at home in my pyjamas.

I go reluctantly, but just stay for the meal, and then without any fanfare or long goodbyes, I nip to the loo and leg it! No one cares, I've done my bit and job done.

The forced jollity at this time of year gets my goat and can be very tedious.. Sorry about that.

I used to go along to fit in, but for the last ten years or so I don't. I hate loud music, noise, and socialising in large groups more than words can say.

The final straw was ending up one year sitting next to the one with the massive drink problem, in a restaurant where the kitchen had gone into meltdown. Noise levels reached a crescendo and by 9.30 we still had no starters. I could stand it no longer and got up and left, vowing never again.

It's excruciating and a total waste of money.

I feel for you OP. I would return the dress, invent an excuse and stay at home.