AIBU?
To not have my ears pierced?
TressaRobes · 07/12/2019 19:01
DH and I took MIL out for a meal last night, I do like her and in 10+ years we've always got on well. We'll see her on Boxing Day (as usual for us) but she bought Christmas gifts to the meal and insisted we open them - she gave me pair of earrings.
I don't have pierced ears. So I don't dripfeed, I did have them pierced when I was about 10, but had such a severe (presumed allergic to the metal) reaction they had to be removed in A&E. Funnily enough, it put me off and I haven't tried again! And I've managed quite a happy life without wearing earrings.
I (pathetically) just said thank you, lovely, wonderful, great, and tried to brush it off but DH piled on in with "But Tressa hasn't got pierced ears, Mum".
MIL then told me how strange and odd it was that I hadn't got pierced ears, and if I had them pierced ASAP I could be wearing her not very lovely earrings by Boxing Day.
Now I feel worried that she'll be offended if I'm not wearing them on Boxing Day, but I really don't want to have my ears pierced!
What can I do?!
Am I being unreasonable?
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SandyY2K · 07/12/2019 19:07
This is a no brainer. You don't have pierced ears so you obviously won't be wearing them.
Piercing ears is not something one adult tells another to do.
The shop don't take them back, do give them to a friend, cousin, sister or anyone who can make use of them.
Simple.
TheGriffle · 07/12/2019 19:09
I’ve had mine pierced 3 times. Each time they have never healed properly/got infected/imbedded etc so I don’t have mine done either. Although a gun was used each time which means I may be persuaded in the future as I’ve recently had my nose pierced with a needle and it’s healing perfectly.
DisplayPurposesOnly · 07/12/2019 19:10
Tell her it's strange and odd that in 10+ years she's not noticed your ears aren't pierced?
Just give her the earrings back - thanks but you can't wear them so she should keep them herself. (And resign yourself that you may not get a replacement present.)
Wintersleep · 07/12/2019 19:10
I haven't worn earrings in years because any and all metals seem to irritate my skin, I can't wear necklaces or rings for the same reason. Don't get them pierced if you don't want them. I was told to keep mine in for 6 weeks before changing the jewellery when I did have them newly pierced anyway, so you probably wouldn't be able to have hers in.
DeathStare · 07/12/2019 19:13
Buy her a belly button ring for Christmas and tell her if she gets it pierced now she can be wearing it soon!
I think your MIL intended to be nice but it is rather strange she never noticed you don't have pierced ears. Her suggestion that you then get your ears pierced just to wear her gift was just bizarre.
It's not unusual to not have pierced ears. You don't need to justify that decision to her. If you think it would make it easier though just tell her you had a reaction and have been advised not to have them re-pierced
TressaRobes · 07/12/2019 19:15
Tell her a professional piercer has advised you not to do it after the severe reaction you suffered as a child.
Oh this is perfect! Thank you! That way she can think I've tried but it's not my fault?
Tell her it's strange and odd that in 10+ years she's not noticed your ears aren't pierced?
I hadn't even thought of that but you're right.
underneaththeash · 07/12/2019 19:27
It's awkward isn't it. My ex-SIL who had a massive chip on her shoulder about me also gave me pierced earrings and I had to say that I didn't have pierced ears (similar to you I'm a bit allergicy and they just go a bit green no matter what I did).
It'll be forgotten next year
MAFIL · 07/12/2019 19:44
You are unusual not to have pierced ears, but not unreasonable.
I don't have any piercings and nor do I have any intention of ever doing so. I don't want to. That's it. No allergies, needle phobias, anything. Plain and simple, my choice. I would absolutely not have any bit of me pierced to please someone else.
I would probably adopt the "smile and wave" approach. It will probably soon be forgotten.
TressaRobes · 07/12/2019 19:52
In all respect, you need to stand up for yourself.
I do. I find it hard IRL to stand up for myself. I get so frustrated at my lack of backbone after the event, with many things.
You absolutely couldn't be wearing her shit earrings by Christmas if you had them pierced now
They really are not my taste! bloody awful
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