To ask what you’d suggest for this person - work / life overhaul

[fragglepip]

I hate it when this happens, but it’s hard to talk about somebody when they are nameless, so let’s call them Jo.

Jo is 41 years old, and it’s fair to say adult life has been a real struggle. They graduated 2001, tried a few courses and jobs but none of them worked out. Retrained in 2095, qualified 2008. Jo was nearly 30 by this point.

Jo worked for two years but then things started to go wrong and left. After this, Jo couldn’t work in their qualified field for the next four years. After being permitted to work again, Jo had 3 jobs and has now been dismissed from two of them.

So it’s a bit of a mess.

I’m stuck as to what to suggest. What would you suggest? Thank you.

More than a drip feed to come on asking for careers advice & then finally drop in that there are addiction issues!

As Jo is getting treatment for the addiction and is now clean, I stand by my previous advice:

Jo needs to take any job they can, to keep earning and establish a stable work record.

Unless you can say more about Jo's profession/industry, no-one can help with advice about using her qualifications safely in a related field.

I think I'd be asking Jo what they wanted to do and where they could see themselves working.

Try to find out what they enjoy and feel they are good at and see if that lends itself to any career suggestions. But a career change into something else entirely looks the best option if they've been barred already and then dismissed twice.

A fresh start in a completely different direction sounds the way to go.

I think Jo should get a relatively undemanding job while they continue to work through their issues and consider their long term options. Now doesn’t sound like the time for big changes or pressurised jobs

I'd expect Jo to get any job they could and prove they can turn up, do a job and act on feedback.

Jo needs help for addiction and needs to realise being sacked 3 times probably means she is unsuited to this particular career and it would be better to make a fresh start in a new field that is not so demanding you need to have a chat and find new avenues to help her on her way

Has Jo been an addict for last nearly 20 years?

I would start with the basics

• why has Jo been sacked? Be ruthless and clear. If that profession is just not for them (eg it requires lots of people skills and they are rubbish at it) then there is no point continuing there
• what does Jo wanting to do? Are they looking for a job or a career? Or something they are really passionate about? Depending in the answer, they need to chose different options
• what about the addiction? Great that they are clean. It’s amazing an shows they are really wanting to sort out their life. BUT is it possible that what was at the root of the addiction is also creating the problems at work? Would the reason why Jo has been sacked be the same regardless of the job Jo is doing? In which case, Jo needs to address those underlying problems. I would say maybe consider psychotherapy too??

As for full life overall, my own experience is that it never happens like this. What happens is that you realise how destructive some of YOUR ways of thinking/behaving are. You work on them And as you do, you start massively changing your life.

Jo is an addict. Guessing this is why every job went wrong. I think I'd start by just getting any job if possible supermarket, retail, cleaning. Then take it from there. Jo needs to work out addiction triggers and be attending meetings.

You probably need to accept that you’re going to be financially responsible for Jo until they’ve stabilised their addiction. If they’re messing around with their support/commitment to sobriety you need to walk away from them.