How can I save money quickly & sort myself out?

[lostandconfused2]

So I'm 24, almost 21 weeks pregnant and I live alone in a two bedroom house with a loft conversion for an extra room. My partner will be moving in in January.

I have out a loan and I am deeply into my overdraft. I used to be amazingly good with money, I always had savings of over £5,000 (I come from a working class background, I've worked my arse off since I was 15) but I was with someone for six years who I looked after financially as he kept losing jobs. He then left me for another woman and after that I was paying rent and bills on that place before moving to somewhere cheaper (but still not cheap) into a one bedroom place. But I shared the deposit we got back on the previous house with my ex because I was a walkover and I had to put £1,400 down on my new place plus £800 in rent. So basically I ended up using most of my overdraft and have been skint ever since.

I have a good job but I am self-employed and I have a chronic illness and I'm struggling with pregnancy so when I have to take time off I don't get paid for it. And even when I do get full-time play, I still can't seem to get myself out of my overdraft! My bills are excessive, I'm paying so much and it's all got a bit out of hand!

Last month I yet again moved into a new property to be closer to my family and also to have a bigger place for me and the baby, so that was more deposits and rent in advance. I will be getting my deposit back from my old place, but I am still in my bloody overdraft deeply and I just want to get out of it but every day a new bill comes out.

I will hopefully be out of it in January as I have a big payment coming through, but I worry that that will also go quickly. My partner doesn't earn as much as I do so can't help out 50/50 and he won't be financially contributing until he moves in anyway.

So, what I'm asking after explaining my situation is how can I make sure from January, when I get this payment, that I can keep myself financially stable? How can I be more savvy? I want to save for the baby and make sure I have enough money to support myself while off for maternity, but I'm just really worrying!

I budget £30 a week for two adults and a three year old in terms of food shopping, and last week it came in at £12.72, the previous week was £23 and the two weeks before that were £20 something too. I meal plan religiously, freeze extensively and stock up where I can. Can you do something like that?

If DP is currently living with his parents then surely he has been pushing a decent chunk into savings?

Check out the debt free wannabe section of the money saving expert forum.

Your food shop is a lot, we are a family of 3 humans 1 dog and spend £50 a week.
Your gas and electric can't possibly be right I would seriously shop around. Ours is £81 a month!
100% agree that finances need to be agreed before he moves in. Stop justifying his finances already. You are not his mother you are his partner. He needs to pay a fair amount.
If his wage is low - what can he do? Work more hours? Better job?
Defiantly looks for preloved travel system for baby, they are only used for a short period of time no point spending a fortune.

Martin Lewis is a great resource. My tips:

1. Ask your energy company to check your meters to make sure they’re not faulty because those amounts are super high. If they’re fine, change energy company. I pay £45 pcm with Bulb (single person in a biggish house).

2. Change where you shop and/or what you buy for your cats. I have 2 and their food costs £4 for a 2kg bag that lasts a couple of weeks. Don’t feel you have to rehome them, that’s a bit drastic!

3. Buy baby things secondhand.

4. See what you’ve got in your house that can be sold for extra cash.

5. Ask whether your council can split your payments over 12 months rather than 10.

6. Speak to boyfriend about finances. If him moving in is going to cost more (more energy, more food, more water etc. plus loss of single person discounts) than he’s contributing. then rethink this plan until you’re more stable. Also, if it’s his baby, he needs to be contributing whether or not he moves in - it’s not your sole financial responsibility.

Best of luck.

OP, you probably feel overwhelmed right now. Try and break this all down in to individual actions, if I was in your shoes I would:

1. Sort out your 25% single person council tax discount and see if it can be backdated (saving ~£50 a month on a £200 monthly bill).

1. Talk to your energy provider (your payments are very high - are you paying off a debt? I pay about £70 a month for a three bed semi occupied by two adults). Did you give meter readings when you moved in? Check they recorded those correctly and that you aren't paying someone else's debt! Give meter readings every month - I use Tonik energy and it's super easy to enter them online. Check your thermostat settings - turning it down a degree or two can make a big difference to your bill.

1. You say you don't have a working TV - why are you paying a TV licence? You only need it for live TV and iPlayer. Pick one of three to keep (Netflix / Amazon / TV licence), cancel the others.

1. Talk to your boyfriend. If he is moving in, he needs to be paying his way. You should agree what that looks like now, before he moves in.

You have a really good income (I'm 30, living on the outskirts of London and I take home about £1600), but you need a budget and you need to look after yourself and your baby - not financially support grown adults at your own expense.

To be honest unless your DP is going to contribute financially, I wouldn't be moving him in because you will lose your council tax single person discount and your food and utility bills will rise a lot with another adult in the house.

As your child will presumably sleep in your bedroom for at least the first six months I agree with the poster who suggested getting a Monday to Friday lodger. That will improve your finances significantly as opposed to your DP moving in, being a cocklodger and making you worse off.

Regarding the 200 pounds food shop per month:. To be fair to the OP she is most likely including non-food items like paper products (loo roll, etc.), Laundry detergent, dishwashing liquid, supplies for the cat, other cleaning supplies, bin bags. It adds up. I spend a lot at the supermarket each month but I'm buying a lot more than food. I'm buying all of the above plus things like toothpaste, soap, shampoo, conditioner, etc.

I can’t believe people are suggesting fairly strict budgeting measures like rehoming the cat and cancelling Netflix.

From January the op has a Gross income of £5200 a month. Outgoings of what was it - £2k ish.

I think you’ll be fine op and can probably afford to keep your Netflix

@lostandconfused2 that gas and electric bill doesn't sound right. We're in a 3 up, 4 down end of terrace in London and we pay £138 a month. Get the meter read again - ours was incorrectly read recently and the bills shot up before we corrected it.

As an aside, those loft rooms shouldn't be used as bedrooms as they're not fire safe. Course your bf can take his chances up there, but you couldn't take people up on their suggestion of renting it out to lodgers.

If your boyfriend has been living rent free with his parents, how much has he saved? What is he doing to maximise his income and improve his prospects?

If its nothing and he cant pay 50/50, don't let him move in.

Lodger is not a realistic option - people don't want renting with a new baby waking the up all night, if they go for that they want a very low rent! Apart from that, the whole hygiene issue when baby is around, and presumably one bathroom - would add more stress.

I budget £30 a week for two adults and a three year old in terms of food shopping, and last week it came in at £12.72, the previous week was £23 and the two weeks before that were £20 something too.

How is this even possible?

Your partner needs to pay his way and that is 50% of rent, utilities and council tax. You cover your personal costs ie car insurance and repayments.

So, he should pay half of:
rent is £950
Gas & Electric: £172
Water: £35
Broadband: £20
Netflix and Amazon: £15
Food ends up being £200
Council tax: Bloody £200
Total £1592 - half is £796 per month

If he can't pay that, then don't let him move in. Been where you are and whilst you love him and would have to pay the costs anyway etc etc he is an adult and needs to contribute. Wish someone had told me that. I covered everything, he contributed a notional amount. I was strapped for cash, he had savings because I paid for nearly everything. When it was his turn to provide accommodation (he used his savings to build a house) I got kicked to the kerb. I know better now and won't accept people sponging off me and expecting me to support them.

I think some posters are being a little unfair re your partner. But you do need to discuss finances before he moves in.

My DP earns a lot less then me. But we are a family and we live the lifestyle that our combined income affords us. So you combine your finances when he moves in and he contributes his whole income to household, just like all of yours is going on it.

Personally I'd get rid of the TV license and amazon prime. Netflix is £5.99 a month so far cheaper than TV license and prime. We have both prime and netflix and it's still cheaper than TV license.

Depending on what food your cat has you could switch it to a cheaper one, same with their litter too

Your finances are definitely the dad's responsibility too. Don't let him move in without properly contributing.

If he doesn't move in and won't pay much, go down the CMS route to make sure he pays maintenance.

How many cats is that for? I get royal canine dried food for my 2 and a large bag (8kg I think) from zooplus costs £45. That lasts me two months and every other day they have a small tin of gourmet gold pate as well which are £4 for 12.

Definitely look online for the cat food.

Apply for PIP if you are chronically ill. It really isn't that difficult though the assessments are brutal.

Where is your maternity leave coming from if you are self-employed and don't get sick pay?

I have a 2 bed house and pay £63 a month got both gas and electric! Definitely change suppliers.

Let me guess... Your partner said he wouldn't move in if you didn't get a 3 bed?

@lostandconfused2 can you and answer pps questions?

I find it weird that he's going to be living like a lodger, rather than a partner. Why's he having the loft room, not one of the other bedrooms nearby? You snoring will be the least problem with keeping him awake. His baby (it is his baby I presume?) will be needing to be fed during the night, and even if you're breastfeeding, he should be helping you, by making you drinks and something to eat (I used to be starving while b/f during the night).

And I agree with everybody else, he needs to contribute fairly, not just chucking you a bit of money here and there. He's a grown man, and if he wasn't living with you, he would have to pay you 20% of his salary in maintenance for the baby, regardless of what other bills he has to pay.

One way of doing the money, is to put it all in one pot, your wages and his, then all the bills and other related spends, come out of that. With what's left, an amount goes into a joint savings account, and then finally, the rest is divided equally between you for your personal spending.

Another way that some couples do it, is to work out what proportion of your wages, he earns, and then he puts that proportion towards the bills etc.

What I am looking for is tips to save after January to keep me out of my overdraft - not to talk about moving again or rehoming my animals or my relationship

But it's your relationship which is actually shaping up to be your biggest financial issue long term.

You say your last partner was a big part of why you've ended up in financial difficulties and I can see why - you are about to start doing EXACTLY the same thing again (only this time with a baby to support) and you just can't see it.

Your child's father is RESPONSIBLE, EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE for all of this - your joint home, your child. And here you are talking of him 'helping' and not being in a position to contribute 50-50. You're already automatically assuming that YOU are the one the buck stops with and he... will do what he 'can.' It's exactly what led you to end up with a cocklodger on your back last time.

Bottom line: if he cannot cover the cost of a 3-bed as opposed to a 2, then he needs to sleep on the sofa. In fact that's what should happen - it's actually quite offensive to hear you planning to accommodate a room you don't need just for him when he isn't paying his way.

If he cannot contribute MORE than the loss of tax credits, single person discounts etc. then he needs to stay living with his parents and providing as much of his low wages to running HIS CHILD'S home as he can, plus saving so that he is in a position to become an equal family with you asap in your own home. This is not about him, it is about your baby and the longer term.

This is really not good:

He isn't giving me any money right now and I'm not sure how much he would be giving me if he didn't live with me when the baby is here - he really can't afford to give me much I wouldn't have thought

Why the fuck not? he lives for free! He may have a low paid job but the real issue is that he too is looking to YOU to provide 'life' - while he 'does what he can'. I am not saying he's a chancer. I am saying that it it quite clear that he is not yet a proper adult - I presume he's always lived at home, it certainly sounds like it - and if you just continue that dynamic of him being some sort of oversized teenager and you the grown up, it won't work and you'll end up wondering how the hell you ended up doing everything and paying for everything while he gives 'what he can' and still somehow finds cash for the pub while you can't. And that's just the finances - the emotional mess of having a partner who's never grown up is much more damaging.

Sit down and do the sums with him, making it clear that all this is just as much his responsibility to sort.