To throw all the dummies and bottles in the bin

[Namechange454]

Name change for this so I can't be recognized, in real life. DS is almost 4.5 and still has dummies and bottles. He is far past the point of needing them, but he still demands to have them, especially when going to bed. I have tried to get rid of them befor, but DH just gives in to his every whim. DH will do whatever DS wants, just for an easy life, which drives me up the wall, (another thread entirely.)

Everytime I say DS can't have a dummy or bottle when he wants one, he will start moaning and whining and crying until DH gives him what he wants.

I'm well aware that at this stage it's well past ridiculous that a 4.5 year old still gets given a dummy whenever he demands. And I'm starting to have serious concerns for the effect it's have on his teeth. When I bring it up with DH he seems completely uninterested.

So my question is, WIBU to throw all the dummies and bottles in the bin, even though I know that when DS starts moaning, DH will go out and get him some more. I'm st the point where I'm perfectly prepared to continue to bin them until DH stops buying them, but that's not really the way I want to play things. All suggestions are welcome as to how to deal with this in a less expensive way.

I binned the bottles, god was glad to see the back of them. Found out recently ds still gets them at his dads though 😑

The dummies i did the dummy fairy and just waited it out til he stopped screaming and offered a cup. He was 3 with both, and I considered that to be late.
Dentist has said his teeth are perfect because I cut down to only using them at night months before throwing them away.

The biggest issue is your ‘d’h. What an absolute idiot undermining you and giving in. What kind of message does he think he’s sending to your son??

I remember having a dummy at 5 years old and being really embarrassed about it. I really think it would have been better if my mum had just pulled herself together and taken it away. Kindly, but firmly.

I'm struggling with this with DD who is nearly 3. Getting the dummy off her is proving much more difficult than I expected, and she still has a bottle at bedtime. I'd be more worried about you not being on the same page as your husband. You both need to decide on an approach and stick to it.

Btw my SIL was a bit like your OH, giving the kids what they want and keeping them as babies since it was easier that way. She's only just got her eldest off dummies at nearly 8!

Do it! Dd1 and I boxed hers up and posted them to the dummy fairy. I actually posted them to my work address then threw them away at work. Dd1had a little cry for the first couple of nights but quickly got over it. You will not regret it.

Buy a pack of those hanging chocolate decorations.
Tell DS Santa collects the big boys and girls' dummies for the babies who need them now. Tell him santa will give him a treat for being a brave boy.
Just hang up one Dummy. Overnight, bin it and replace with chocolate.
See if he's happy to keep this up until you've binned them all.

No don’t just bin them. It’s his little comforter. He’ll lash it when he’s ready.
He’s not going to be walking down the aisle or going to his first Interview with it, is he.

^^This, 100%. How many adults do you know with a dummy?

DS3 (4:5) has just gotten rid of his dummies via the dummy fairy in the last few weeks. We broached it over a few weeks - we had one false start where he backed out after initially saying he would give them to her, but a few weeks ago he just decided one day it would happen and (apart from the odd whimper some nights) he’s been great without them. I know some people are pro a ‘cold turkey’ approach but tbh I have enough battles to pick without having a very distressed child wondering where his dummy is. At this stage I felt it was better to involve him in the decision as far as possible. FWIW my dentist said it was fine as long as they were gone around age 5, when the adult teeth start to grow in.

Throw them out and tell dh if he doesn't back you up on this you will be utterly fuming and will continue to throw them out so he will be wasting money buying them.

Let DH keep giving bottles and dummies...as long as DH wears a dummy on a string round his own neck every time he leaves the house and takes a bottle or a Timmee Tippee sippy cup to work with him.

I'd start with the dummy because there's a medical reason for that.

It's a case of if he wants more grown up toys, then the dummy goes.

Are you planning a holiday next year? I've known parents who struggle with being tough say that they aren't allowed to take bottles away with them/on a plane etc unless they've got a baby.

You're DH is setting him up to be a whinger. It isn't good parenting at all.

How many adults do you know with a dummy ... is total shit though.

You dint know any adults in nappies, but you want your children trained for school dont you?

Kids having dummies at 8 is straight up ridiculous.

OP, your dh is being a dick, this is going to take both of you.

One thing at a time, but yes, start now.

Good luck.

You’ve said your worried about the impact on his teeth hasn’t the dentist mentioned anything?

This. We took DS to the dentist for his six monthly check up at 2.6 and straight away the dentist said "he needs to get rid of the dummy, it's causing an overbite" there was also something to do with his palette shape but I was too busy panicking by that point to listen. We'd never had that dentist before so he wouldn't have known DS had a dummy.

I cut the tips off all the dummies that evening, told DS they'd worn out and then the dummy fairy came to take then away to recycle them for a new baby. Week or so if bad nights and it's been fine ever since.

Your DH needs to get a grip, that's your real issue.
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(There will be posters along to say that their DC had a dummy till they were 13 and their teeth are perfect etc.)