Was IBU here?

[ziggiestardust]

Bit of an odd one... We’ve been living in this house for 3 years now, for context.

On Thursday night I was home alone as DH was on call at work and had been called in to sort out a problem. It was around 9pm and the door went; I opened it because I was waiting on an Amazon parcel and it said it would delivery by 10pm, so I was fairly confident that’s what it was. However, upon opening the door there was a middle aged lady, mid 50s perhaps (this is relevant later on) standing at my door. I asked if I could help and she asked if she could speak to her brother. I said I was sorry, but we didn’t know her. She said ‘this is x Drive right?’ And I said that it was, but that her brother didn’t live here and she must be mistaken. She was quite insistent that he lived there. I assured her he didn’t, said sorry and closed the door. About 20 minutes later DH came back home, and I was just explaining to him about the lady and how odd it was when there was an insistent banging at the door (we have a lit up doorbell that works and is very prominent, so the banging was a bit of a weird choice).

This time, DH accompanied me to the door although I was sure it was my Amazon package. It wasn’t. This time, the same lady was back... accompanied by a man we didn’t recognise (we know our neighbours for about 4 doors each side on both sides). He said ‘this lady is trying to find her brother and says he lives here, please let her in to speak to him.’ DH said that this lady definitely wasn’t anyone’s sister, and asked for a name. The lady gave the name of the man who used to live here, who was in his late 50s at the time so it’s plausible she was his sister. We explained he had sold the house (to us) 3 years ago. DH said ‘hope that helps, sorry’ and started to close the door, and we got more protests about how did we have a forwarding address (we don’t), who did we sell the house with so they could ask them, could they just come in and check (wtf!?)

It was totally bizarre! I feel a bit bad on one hand because as I said to DH, we could have given them the info of the estate agent I guess but he says if they want to know, all that kind of stuff is available online; besides which they can’t have been that close if they didn’t even leave a forwarding address.

Should I drop a note in to the estate agent and ask them to pass on a message to the forwarding address the seller left? DH says the woman is probably not in contact with her brother for a reason, and to leave well alone.

I think her behaviour was unusual in a way that required compassion. You disagree. That's fine.

I think it's really odd that she came back with another stranger & he insisted that they both be allowed into your house.

They could have been anyone.

Knowing that someone lived at an address 3yrs ago proves nothing.

Other than that they knew the name of someone who lived there 3yrs ago!

@vivacian

Definite Mumsnet ageist diagnosis there, the woman was over 50 so obviously had Alzheimer's/ Dementia

I gladly know of no-one in their 50's with Alzheimers/dementia. I know a few people whose behaviour is questionable though, totally not age related.

Asking to be let in to check whether her brother is there, suggests that she has reason to think that her brother is avoiding her, rather than that they have somehow accidentally lost touch.

He's an adult. He's entitled to avoid his sister if he wishes.

Don’t pass any messages on through the estate agent. It’s not their job to trace missing relatives. They are both adults so if the brother has no contact with his sister that is his choice so you should respect it. In the days of Facebook, etc she should be able to find him if he wants to be found. Sounds like he doesn’t. With good reason.

It’s all a bit odd. I wouldn’t get involved at all. She is told he doesn’t live their anymore and then re-appears with back up / reinforcements. Then further escalates and demands to come in your house. I can kind of see why he may have cut off contact with these people

Mn go to diagnosis for anyone over 45 who is pushy , aggressive or entitled =dementia.

Couldn't possibly be they are bloody stroppy, demanding, argumentative people all thier lives and thier brother didn't tell them he moved for a damm good reason.

I worked in dementia care for 20 years I could count on 2 hands the people who were actually pushy or aggressive and demanding that they get their own way all the time.
Gets on my nerves when every bullshit behaviour is blamed on dementia. People can be assholes long before dementia arrives.

This person came back with another person who.thought it was ok to demand entrance to ops home. Only option is to tell them where to go and close door, end of conversation. They could be anyone. Brother could be nc for good reasons. Not ops place to sort them out.

After reading this post, is it bad that all I am wondering is whether the Amazon delivery came?!
YANBU by the way. Not at all.