AIBU to ask a charity to remove a neighbour from a mailing list?

[DaisyDreaming]

We have an elderly neighbour who has a mixture of a very old brain injury and mental health, I really think she has some dementia now days too. She was left a house so has a roof over her head but lives hand to mouth, week to week.

She used to come to us every time she was sent a charity letter. I remember one day she was in a state as a charity (something like age concern) that said that this old man insert name is lonely and isolated and for just X amount he could attend clubs. She couldn’t afford it but thought this featured man was reliant on her donation.

She no longer comes to us for that kind of stuff, not sure if she is asking other neighbours or not. We saw her today and she said she got a letter from crisis and donated the £30 they asked for. £30 is SO much money to her, she worries so much and she also can’t count money (luckily we live in a nice village, in the local shops she hands her purse over at the till and has the shop keepers take the right amount. As far as we are aware they all look out for her thankfully).

It does worry me she gets guilted into donating. I don’t know all the charities that write to her. We encourage her to either not donate or to donate only what she can afford but they make her feel like they are dependant on her.

Would IBU to contact the charities and ask them to take her off their mailing lists. Would they listen? My neighbour has no family and we have no rights to make decisions for her but I worry now she’s donated crisis will start sending more letters

Please dont ask the postman to intervene! He has a legal duty to deliver all the letters not bin the ones you may think look dodgy

🙄

A bit of discretion in this case would be perfectly justified.

My dad gets lots of charity begging letters, and he realised that after donating to a charity, they would send another begging letter within a few weeks. His new tactics are:-

1. He doesn't open letters from charities he doesn't intend to give to, because once he sees a hungry child (or whatever) he feels guilty.

1. He makes a note of when he sends a donation to each charity, so he can tell when the demands are too frequent.

1. If a charity sends an unreasonable number of demands, or he isn't interested but they send multiple letters, he uses their reply-paid envelope to tell them not to contact him again. If they don't take any notice, he does it again. This is effective.

You can sign her on here too to help reduce some post. Living in a block of flats with big turnover of tenants I always did it when people moved out. Doesn’t stop but dies reduce.
www.mpsonline.org.uk/

Not sure if they still do it, but you used to be able to complete a form for Royal Mail to not deliver any junk mail. It might be worth looking into that.

That is where ours comes from, put in with the genuine letters.

public.fundraisingpreference.org.uk/welcome2.asp
I've found this which may be helpful, you can select three charities a time online.

There was a terrible story a few years ago of an elderly woman who was overwhelmed by the number of "begging" letters she received. I think it was over 3000 per year. There was a big outcry and charities were supposed to reevaluate who they sent these letters to.

Are Adult Social Care aware of this lady? She sounds very vulnerable and at risk of being manipulated.

Problem is when she signed up to one they share info and she'll be getting bombarded. We cancelled all of ours because of it and I just support local charities now..

This has not been the case for some time - charities no longer buy in lists.

I have a sign in my window saying no cold callers think I got it from Martin Lewis website. Would someone be able to print her one and get her to put it on clear display in her window

The postman can't exercise discretion! He could go to prison and would lose his job. I'd write to or call the charities and have her removed from the lists. They won't argue

I would for a small charity in the call centre. If we are told a supporter has dementia we take them off our list. I would contact each charity and say you are a family member and ask for her to be removed from the list

I wouid impersonate her, and cancel them for her.

Yes it's wrong on many levels, but I think the consequences for her are even worse.

Hit as many as you can through the preference scheme. Get in touch directly and cancel any that are personally addressed (which she may have inadvertently signed up for)