To have a nose job even though...

[AndWhatnot]

...my family and friends have told me not to?

I’ve disliked my nose for years. It has a slight bump, is a bit wonky and has a bulbous tip. When I smile the tip drops down and gives me a ‘witchy’ profile - I hate photos of myself for this reason. I’m at the point where I’ve saved enough money to have a nose job. I’ve been looking into it for years and have recently had consultations with three surgeons.

However, those closest to me are all telling me not to get it done. My mum in particular is dead against it and seems to think that if I have a nose job I’ll then be wanting more surgery. She also thinks there’s nothing wrong with my nose and she keeps saying she’ll think it will go wrong and I’ll end up with a ‘Michael Jackson’ nose. The thing is, all the consultants I’ve seen have said the work will be subtle and I’ll look like a more improved version of myself - I’m certainly not planning on going for the Michael Jackson look!

Bit of relevant context: I got divorced last year and it was an unhappy marriage, mainly due to emotional abuse from EXH. I’ve had a lot of therapy since and am in a much better place emotionally but a couple of my friends think I want a nose job because of how my ex used to put me down and criticise my looks - they think I’m getting surgery to boost my self esteem.

I don’t feel this is the case and am keen to proceed but the negative comments from my nearest and dearest are niggling at me.

AIBU to have a nose job in these circumstances? Also would be good to hear from anyone who’s had rhinoplasty and their experience of it.

Thanks!

Your face, your choice. You sound like you have done your research and considered the risks. You won't get an objective opinion from those closest to you. Go for it and be happy!

My mum warned me off getting my teeth straightened and getting my eyebrows microbladed. Best things I've ever done cosmetically! Do it I say

Yes why not, but I would also be realistic that surgery doesn't change everything. Just don't pin your whole esteem on a new nose. It might not look how you expect. So just manage your expectations and go for it.

I'm totally against any sort of implant surgery. Having been there, and it's just a short term fix that can cause problems and then needs replacing if you are lucky every 10 years or more often if your body rejects it.

Definitely go for it if that's what you want. Have you considered a non-surgical nose job? Look up Dr Ayab Harb he does some amazing work just using fillers. My friend had hers done with him and cost around £600.

I'm not against surgery & it can make people much happier but you do have to do your research. I used to do some modelling & sometimes one person would change something & it wasn't that noticeable but others having the same procedure looked like a different person. I don't know why that is.

It's good you're in your 30s as I often think noses grow to fit your face if that makes sense & you often see people in their 40s whose nose ends up looking too small for their face.

I have just had septorhinoplasty due to a broken nose earlier this year. You would of course only be having rhinoplasty. It’s awful and sore and doesn’t feel worth it even though I couldn’t breathe properly and got headaches. I have to Basel douch with saline every day I had splints for a fortnight. It’s sore and I get little sleep. I have a high pain threshold.

I am not saying you shouldn’t it’s really up to you. Don’t listen to others. However the facts are it’s going to hurt for fucking weeks and after the op you are pretty weak and useless so please think about that first and if you don’t mind that then fair enough.

My nose hurts but I know it’s for the best I am praying for a headache free 2020.

My dd was in your position, not a terrible nose but hated it. Quite a few of her friends had nose op’s in their late teens and I eventually gave in. She’s happy with it now but her breathing isn’t great through her nose. I would have left it personally.

Thanks @geekone for sharing that, I have thought about the pain and recovery afterwards but don’t actually know anyone who’s had it done. It’s helpful to know the reality of the healing process - I hope the pain eases off for you soon. How much time did you need to take off work? The consultants I saw all said ten days.

Has no-one mentioned Jennifer Grey yet?!

She was so much more beautiful beforehand. Sort of forgettable afterwards - it doesn't matter how many times i watch her in Friends she's impossible to picture. Dirty Dancing on the other hand...

Geekone where did you get yours done? I had the exact same op this year and my experience couldn’t be more different! It was uncomfortable but no pain at all. I didn’t think they used splints anymore either. My surgeon used gel which naturally dispersed so no awful splint removal.

Like Geekone DD said the pain afterwards was bad. I think the perception of this op is that there’s very little downtime involved and you are straight back to normal life next day. DD described the pain as “Like someone has thrown a brick at my face.” She has a pretty high pain threshold too. She said she would tell people considering it to only do it if they’re pretty desperate to have it. She couldn’t bear the weight of her glasses pressing on the bridge of her nose for a couple of months and found it really hard to breathe properly through it. Sleeping was difficult. But all this aside she doesn’t regret it for one second and I don’t regret encouraging her to go for it. She had it done when she was 19 and fifteen years on she’s had no other cosmetic surgery or treatments.

And why not..? It's your face and your nose, so go for it!

Someone above mentioned Jennifer Grey. I'm aware it's a matter of different tastes, but I completely disagree. Imo she looks much better with her 'new' nose and I'd go for surgery as well, if I'd have her 'old' nose (and money).

Gosh this is really strange as my op was not very painful at all. Maybe things have moved on a lot in fifteen years? I had three procedures so my recovery was worse than had it just been a rhinoplasty but it wasn’t too bad at all. I looked awful for a few weeks afterwards though. It took 3 weeks for the visible bruising to go.

I had mine done about 15 years ago in my early 20s privately at a well known private hospital in manchester. No regrets at all, it was subtle so I look like an improved version of myself, it improved my confidence in terms of my looks but also that I had taken control of my own life. I am happy and I haven't wanted any additional surgery.

@AndWhatnot I was signed off for two weeks. My septum was weak from the trauma and I had a deviated septum before I smacked my face off a step so maybe the damage is why I needed the splints. I survived on ibuprofen and paracetamol for a week but sleep was an issue as you have to be upright and the splints were uncomfortable. Getting them out was really uncomfortable and now I am getting headaches because I can breathe which was the whole point but my sinuses haven’t been used since February . I just spent a week wondering why the hell anyone would put themselves through this for no medical reason. However now have a nice straight nose and I can feel it knitting together and I feel almost normal. That has been less than three weeks.

Still fucking hurts to touch though and I have to be really careful.

Still I am happy to breathe properly and have a straight nose so I can’t say don’t do it. Just tell you how I feel.

@Rewilderness that expresses how I feel/felt only more eloquently.

@Foalma19 maybe because i had septorhinoplasty so maybe the septoplasty made it more significant also the previous trauma.

She was so much more beautiful beforehand.

Not to her and it was her face she had to look at in the mirror every day.

Go for it!

DD wants one when she gets older. I'll help her pay for it if I can.

I spent 2.5k on having my front 4 teeth veneered a few years ago. I had to work lots of extra hours to pay for it but it was literally the best money I've ever spent. Completely changed my smile......go for it you'll not regret it.

If it's just the one feature, it's not likely to turn into some kind of surgery addiction - I think that only happens with people who are just generally convinced (usually wrongly) that they are 'ugly' and surgery will make them 'beautiful'. If it's just one feature that could make you feel more confident, go for it.

Someone close to me had a rhinoplasty in their early 20s; it was subtle but a definite improvement - no one would look at a photo of them and say 'God, they must have had a nose job', they'd probably just assume they 'grew into their face' a bit, and that person found it worth it. They're someone who is now pretty good looking, but their nose did kind of marr their looks until it was sorted out.