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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to call out LinkedIn harassment

47 replies

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 20:37

Have name changed as am probably going to end up outing myself.

I run a business and as such my LinkedIn profile and being “friendly” to new connections who message me is a must.

For about the third time this month, I’ve been harassed by a man (who guess what only seems to have added women to his profile).

I’m sick of this and have publicly published screenshots of the messages.

I think we tend to not talk about this, and I’m
A bit sick of it.

OP posts:

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/12/2019 21:39

This was the top conversation on LinkedIn through the autumn. My post about it got 300k views... it's shocking. Report and block anyone responsible... it's horrendous, though, especially the graphic pictures.

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 21:55

@MissConductUS this is why I think it should be made public. Its not “one odd comments” it’s not “someone with a certain sense of humour” it’s relentless

OP posts:

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 22:34

@AnchorDownDeepBreath well
Done for also talking about this

OP posts:

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/12/2019 22:35

It's really horrendous and I'm sorry it's happening to you @Linkedinshite.

I've got 3% battery but I'll support your post as soon as I'm near a charger!

hellcarryingahandbag · 06/12/2019 22:44

YABU for using the phrase “call out on it.

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 22:49

@hell - right oh...

OP posts:

VanGoghsDog · 06/12/2019 22:55

Happened to me a while back, very similar MO actually, though he kept trying to get me to meet up with him.

No they should be banned and everyone can move on

I reported and he was banned. Linked in confirmed to me that the account had been closed.

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 06/12/2019 22:57

I get this too and it's infuriating, annoying and deeply unprofessional. I'm there to network, yes, but I'm not there to have everyday chit chat with some random man calling me dear or telling me my professional photograph is "stunning". Sidenote: I detest the word stunning as it makes me think of animals about to be killed for meat.

When you don't reply, they bombard you with messages telling you that you're rude or questioning why you accepted their connection request if you're not willing to talk?! (Erm, it's LinkedIn not tinder!). Or if you reply you then give them ammunition to continue a conversation that's neither relevant to anything professional or appropriate. No men I know ever get this, so why do we have to put up with it? I now just delete the connection if they get like this, they're not worth my time.

Halfeatentoast · 06/12/2019 23:09

Oh good grief. I was just starting to dip my toes back into the world of work and I thought LinkedIn could help. Not so sure now.

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 23:16

@Hellofromtheotherside2020 that’s exactly it! The messages I’ve posted are an exact example - bombarding throughout the day and up until 8pm. Then again from 6am - accusations of being rude etc.

OP posts:

TheCWord · 06/12/2019 23:19

It is a typical 419 scammer text. They call you 'dear' and 'blessed'. Block and ignore

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 06/12/2019 23:23

Some of mine haven't been scammer texts, they've been from men (some in pretty senior positions) who live in the UK and Australia (where I am now). I've googled them.
Extra fussy with who I accept now. I'm a law lecturer so I don't need to connect (in any way, shape or form!) with a creative engineer from John Deere or whatever.

BumbleBeee69 · 06/12/2019 23:25

I've used Linkedin for years...

I've never received messages like this.. ever

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 23:27

@thevword - this is just a single example. Every single day it’s “your pic is hot” “why aren’t you replying to me” etc

OP posts:

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 23:30

@Hellofromtheotherside2020 that’s what’s tricky for me. I own marketing company - so generally I accept connections. Usually they are someone checking me out (in a business way) or a potential contact,

OP posts:

DuchessMinnie · 06/12/2019 23:32

I've commented. It's all too common, and well done for gong public.

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 23:41

Thank you @DuchessMinnie.

OP posts:

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 06/12/2019 23:47

You're so lucky if you've been on there for years and have never received a message like this.

Yes, I can see why in your career you need to connect with more people.
My husband told me to just change my profile picture? It's my professional work photograph which is used on my university's website so it's hardly provocative. Why should I have to do that? Also, I'm embarrassed for some of these men who do it. It wouldn't take much at all for me to screen shot their message and send it to their boss. They're putting their dicks ahead of everything else.

Original poster

Linkedinshite · 06/12/2019 23:54

@hellcarryingahandbag wish it was the first - it was the third this month

OP posts:

k1233 · 07/12/2019 04:46

I think they accuse you of being rude as women are conditioned to be polite and not make a fuss. Calling people rude is probably more than a moderately successful tactic to get the woman to continue with the interaction.

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 07/12/2019 05:41

@k1233 agree completely. Or if you call them put for being unprofessional they then claim its just innocent, friendly conversation and anything untoward is in our heads! "oh it's just a conversation, what's the harm in that? Oh you thought I liked you! Haha no, not being mean but you're not my type, I just called you stunning earlier to be kind"!!!!

PhilCornwall1 · 07/12/2019 06:13

This is why I now call LinkedIn "Facebook for suits".

I've been on it for years and it used to be a decent platform. Looking at it now, it's just full of those pointless motivational quotes, people blowing smoke up their own arse and annoying "recruitment consultants" DMing about jobs that are in no way related to what I do.

The buggerance is, if you are looking for a new position, the majority of people will look you up on there. It's going to come down to a coin toss as to whether I sack it off.

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